# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 312
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6221 "2017-03-05T05:47:18Z")
Now you see he’s putting a peg down there because I’m quite a way up now, and if I come unstuck here I go down quite a long way. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6222 "2017-03-05T08:41:37Z")
In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6223 "2017-03-06T04:56:58Z")
Those are the rules, that’s the game, we’re all out of time, 'til next time, bye bye! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6224 "2017-03-06T09:26:19Z")
Still no sign of land. How long is it? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6225 "2017-03-06T21:26:56Z")
Oh, I thought you meant me - _Mr_. Wensleydale. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6226 "2017-03-07T00:09:56Z")
“Oh, hello. My name is Smoketoomuch.” “What?” “My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Smoketoomuch.” “Well, you’d better cut down a little then!” “…I’m sorry?” “You’d better cut down a little then!” “Oh, I see! Smoke too much so I’d better cut down a little then!” “Yes. Ooh, it’s going to get people making jokes about your name all the time, eh?” “No, actually, it never struck me before. Smoketoomuch…” ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6227 "2017-03-07T03:05:30Z")
Well that’s a long time for someone who’s just had a routine checkup. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6228 "2017-03-07T05:55:04Z")
Ye are Mary Queen of Scots? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6229 "2017-03-07T10:58:36Z")
Running away, eh? You yellow bastards come back here and take what’s coming to you! I’ll bite your legs off! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6230 "2017-03-07T14:00:50Z")
I was sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through ‘Rogue Herries’ by Horace Walpole, when suddenly I came over all peckish. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6231 "2017-03-07T14:05:02Z")
remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6232 "2017-03-07T17:41:57Z")
Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6233 "2017-03-07T20:02:44Z")
This couple is just one of the prizes in this year’s Police Raffle. Other prizes include two years for breaking and entering, a crate of search warrants, a “What’s all this then?” T-shirt and a weekend for two with a skinhead of your own choice. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6234 "2017-03-08T02:12:07Z")
Horace Walpole’s ‘Rogue Cheddar’, one of the first of the Cheese Westerns to be later followed by ‘Gunfight at Gruyère Corral’, ‘Ilchester 73’, and ‘The Cheese Who Shot Liberty Valence’. While I’m on the subject of Westerns, I want to take a closer look at one of my favourite film directors, Sam Peckinpah, the expatriate from Fresno, California. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6235 "2017-03-08T05:13:22Z")
Yes, tonight _Probe Around_ takes a look at crime. Is it true that the police are using dachshunds to combat the crime wave? And can the head of the Vice Squad turn himself into an albatross whenever he wants to? Just what are the police up to? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6236 "2017-03-08T06:09:04Z")
Right! Stop that! It’s SILLY. Very SILLY indeed! Started off as a nice little idea about old ladies attacking young men, but now it’s just got SILLY! His hair’s too long for a vicar, too, and you can tell those are not proper keep-left signs! CLEAR OUT, THE LOT OF YOU! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6237 "2017-03-08T07:52:24Z")
If we increase the size of the penguin until it is the same height as the man and then compare the relative brain size, we now find that the penguin’s brain is still smaller. But, and this is the point, it is larger than it was! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6238 "2017-03-08T19:21:32Z")
Here at Luton it’s a three-cornered fight between Alan Jones - Sensible Party, in the middle; Tarquin Fin-tim-lim-bim-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F’tang-F’tang-Olè-Biscuitbarrel - Silly Party; and Kevin Phillips-Bong, the Slightly Silly candidate. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6239 "2017-03-08T19:24:57Z")
It’s a fair cop. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2017, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6240 "2017-03-09T02:14:10Z")
Look there’s not really a great deal of point in your, sort of hanging on at your end, because I’m afraid there aren’t any more jokes or anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=311) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=313)