# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 318
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2017, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6341 "2017-04-01T16:19:58Z")
Nothing, nothing – just like the word, it gives me confidence. Gorn…Gorn…It’s got a sort of _woody_ quality about it…Gorn…_GOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRNNNNN_. Much better than ‘newspaper’ or _‘litter bin’_. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6342 "2017-04-02T02:10:41Z")
It’s a bird, innit? It’s a bloody sea bird… it’s not any bloody flavour. _Albatross!_ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2017, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6343 "2017-04-02T06:51:20Z")
It’s quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6344 "2017-04-03T00:17:31Z")
Sandwiches?!? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6345 "2017-04-03T01:47:46Z")
Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it’s not very useful. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6346 "2017-04-03T02:53:31Z")
Well, that’s as maybe but it’s not the way the BBC works. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6347 "2017-04-03T04:49:50Z")
I’m sorry, you have to say “dog kennel” to Mr Lambert, because if you say “mattress” he puts a bucket over his head. I should have explained. Otherwise he’s perfectly all right. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6348 "2017-04-03T13:13:51Z")
£WAG ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6349 "2017-04-03T13:33:23Z")
'in this performance the part of david hemmings will be played by a piece of wood ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6350 "2017-04-03T13:37:14Z")
Oh, no, no, no, no … well, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6351 "2017-04-03T13:40:26Z")
So I thought to myself, ‘a little fermented curd will do the trick’. So I curtailed my Walpolling activities, sallied forth and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6352 "2017-04-03T16:07:18Z")
\*Assistant: \*Your suit is fair and goodly cut. Was’t from Antwerp? \*Gaskell: \*Shut up. It’s a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6353 "2017-04-03T22:07:56Z")
My lords, ladies and gedderbong…On my right, from the town of Reigate in the county of Kent, the heavyweight cha-la wa-la, the olly-olly-olla-choame, the ga-luh-wuh-chulluh, ho-la-cum-in-a-_NEEEE_, Mistuuuh, Ken, Clean-Air System!.. (_applause; Ken raises his arms_) and on my left, Miss Petula Wilcox. (_smattering of ohs and boos_) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6354 "2017-04-03T22:15:45Z")
Doug and Dinsdale Piranha now formed a gang, which the called ‘The Gang’ and used terror to take over night clubs, billiard halls, gaming casinos and race tracks. When they tried to take over the MCC they were for the only time in their lives, slit up a treat. As their empire spread however, we in Q Division were keeping tabs on their every move by reading the colour supplements. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6355 "2017-04-04T03:51:29Z")
The battle raged long and hard, but as night fell Sidney overcame the Spaniards. 6,000 copies of _Tits and Bums_ and 4,000 copies of _Shower Sheila_ were seized that day. The tide of Spanish porn was stemmed. Sir Philip Sidney returned to London in triumph. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6356 "2017-04-04T04:25:37Z")
Well screw the Bible! Let’s get on with this bleeding trial, I’ve got a Gay Lib meeting at 6 o’clock. Superintendent Lufthansa will you please read the charge. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6357 "2017-04-04T06:04:22Z")
Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! Grab your egg-and-fours and let’s get the bacon delivered! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2017, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6358 "2017-04-05T15:09:00Z")
8 o’clock is a peak viewing hour so naturally we tend to stick to our comedy output - unless of course there’s sport - because of course we know this is popular, and popularity is what television is about. Quite frankly I’m sick and tired of people accusing us of being ratings conscious. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6359 "2017-04-06T06:40:30Z")
There’s a dead bishop on the landing, dad! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6360 "2017-04-06T14:56:13Z")
Be a shame if someone was to set fire to them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=317) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=319)