# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 323
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2017, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6441 "2017-04-24T10:55:38Z")
It’s the single most popular cheese in the world! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2017, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6442 "2017-04-24T11:51:49Z")
Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2017, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6443 "2017-04-24T14:42:38Z")
Well, thank you Cliff. Tonight’s other outstanding match was the semi-final between the Bournemouth Gynaecologists and the Watford Long John Silver Impersonators. We bring you edited highlights of the match. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2017, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6444 "2017-04-24T17:49:44Z")
Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes, and hermaphrodites. Regards, I’m Shodan, and so is my wife ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6445 "2017-04-25T04:10:20Z")
All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful, The church has nigged them all. Amen. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6446 "2017-04-25T13:01:41Z")
My next witness will explain that if m’ludship will allow. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6447 "2017-04-25T13:09:23Z")
Here we see Heinz Sielmann engaged in a life or death struggle with Peter Scott. They are engaged in a bitter punch-up over repeat fees on the overseas sales of their nature documentaries. Now they have been joined by an enraged Jacques Cousteau. This is typical of the harsh and bitchy world of television features. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6448 "2017-04-26T01:36:03Z")
I got three cheeks. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6449 "2017-04-26T13:50:14Z")
Great. Terrific. Oh it’s great. No problem. We’ll sort it out on the floor. Sort it out on the floor. No problem. This film is basically pro-humanity and anti-bad things and it rips aside the hypocritical facade of our society’s gin and tonic and leaves a lot of sacred cows rolling around in agony, have a drink, have a drink. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6450 "2017-04-26T19:22:00Z")
Now I’ve asked you in here to see me this morning because I’m afraid we’re going to have to let one of you go. (the pantomime horses’ heads go up, their ears waggle and their eyes go round) I’m very sorry but the present rationalization of this firm makes it inevitable that we hive one of you off. (water spurts out of their eyes in a stream) Now you may think that this is very harsh behaviour, but let me tell you that our management consultants actually queried the necessity for us to employ a pantomime horse at all. (the horses register surprise and generally behave ostentatiously) And so the decision has to be made which one of you is to go. Champion… how many years have you been with this firm? (Champion stamps his foot three times) Trigger? (Trigger stamps his front foot twice and rear foot once) I see. Well, it’s a difficult decision. But in accordance with our traditional principles of free enterprise and healthy competition, I’m going to ask the two of you to fight to the death for it. (one of the horses runs up to him and puts his head by the city gent’s ear) No, I’m afraid there’s no redundancy scheme. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6451 "2017-04-27T02:34:36Z")
Oh … just my face and neck … perhaps my feet… and possibly … but no … no … lock up the plans, Joseph… tomorrow they will make us the toast of France. ‘The first ascent by the Montgolfier brothers in a balloon’. Just after Ballcock and just before Bang… what a position! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6452 "2017-04-27T09:34:32Z")
Oh yes, Kipling Road was a typical East End Street, people were in and out of each other’s houses with each other’s property all day. They were a cheery lot. Cheerful and violent. Doug was keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He was very interested in that. His mother had a terrible job getting him to come in for tea. Putting his little boot in he’d be, bless him. All the kids were like that then, they didn’t have their heads stuffed with all this Cartesian dualism. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6453 "2017-04-27T12:50:22Z")
Look, I hear there’s a US ballet organizer round these parts by the name of Teddy Salad. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6454 "2017-04-27T13:10:50Z")
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello - what’s all this, then? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6455 "2017-04-27T17:57:41Z")
No, I’m afraid… we’re fresh out of parrots. I’ll tell you what though… I’ll lop its back legs off, make good, strip the fur, stick a couple of wings on and staple on a beak of your own choice. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6456 "2017-04-27T19:34:21Z")
And now for something more completely different… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6457 "2017-04-28T03:06:00Z")
I have a hat. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6458 "2017-04-28T07:51:21Z")
How can anyone shoot himself then hid the gun without first canceling his reservation? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6459 "2017-04-28T14:57:51Z")
No. Fuck off. I’m full. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6460 "2017-04-28T15:13:06Z")
But by then it was too late. The first cabbage crates hit London on July the 7th. That was just the beginning. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=322) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=324)