# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 324
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6461 "2017-04-28T17:32:34Z")
Your Majesty is like a dose of clap. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6462 "2017-04-28T19:37:36Z")
We’ll have none of your imperialist tidbits. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6463 "2017-04-28T19:55:17Z")
I have a hat. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6464 "2017-04-28T20:13:45Z")
(See six posts above). Splunge! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6465 "2017-04-28T20:32:23Z")
A duck! ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6466 "2017-04-28T20:44:23Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Your Majesty is like a dose of clap. One of Shaw’s! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6467 "2017-04-29T00:53:36Z")
Number ninety-eight: the nape of the neck. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6468 "2017-04-29T20:30:35Z")
Hello, good afternoon and welcome to the second leg of the Olympic final of the men’s Hide-and-Seek here in the heart of Britain’s London. We’ll be surfing in just a couple of moments from now, and there you can see the two competitors Francisco Huron the Paraguayan, who in this leg is the seeker (_we see Francisco Huron darting about, looking behind things_) and there’s the man he’ll be looking for … (_we see Don Roberts practising hiding_) our own Don Roberts from Hinckley in Leicestershire who, his trainer tells me, is at the height of his self-secreting form. And now in the first leg, which ended on Wednesday, Don succeeded in finding the Paraguayan in the new world record time of 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27.4 seconds, in a sweetshop in Kilmarnock. And now they’re under starter’s orders. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6469 "2017-04-29T20:35:50Z")
I have a hat. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6470 "2017-04-30T03:16:46Z")
There seems to be no end to McTeagle’s poetic invention. ‘My new cheque book hasn’t arrived’ was followed up by the brilliantly allegorical ‘What’s twenty quid to the bloody Midland Bank?’ and, more recently, his prizewinning poem to the Arts Council: ‘Can you lend me a thousand quid?’ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6471 "2017-04-30T08:49:54Z")
Henry Kissinger, I’ve been missin’ yer You’re the doctor of my dreams, With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare And your Machiavellian schemes. All right, so people say that you don’t care, But you’ve got nicer legs than Hitler and bigger tits than Cher. Henry Kissinger, how I’m missin’ yer And wishing you were here. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6472 "2017-04-30T14:54:44Z")
I have a hat. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6473 "2017-04-30T16:29:57Z")
Hello, well you join us here in Paris just a few minutes before the start of today’s big event: the final of the Men’s-Being-Eaten-By-A-Crocodile event. I’m standing now by the crocodile pit where - - - AAAAAAHHHHH! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6474 "2017-04-30T21:41:30Z")
I come about your advert - ‘Small white pussy cat for sale. Excellent condition’. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6475 "2017-05-01T00:55:08Z")
African or European? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6476 "2017-05-01T21:43:42Z")
This is Mrs. Dudley. She had little hope of survival, she’d lost interest in life, but along came this very attractive mahogany frame, and now she’s a jolly comfortable Chesterfield. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6477 "2017-05-01T23:57:41Z")
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - oh damn! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2017, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6478 "2017-05-02T00:56:54Z")
How tall are you, professor? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2017, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6479 "2017-05-02T10:31:52Z")
I’ve always said, There’s nothing an agnostic can’t do if he really doesn’t know whether he believes in anything or not. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2017, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6480 "2017-05-02T11:43:08Z")
I know, but they’ve got beautiful speaking voices, haven’t they? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=323) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=325)