# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 331
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6601 "2017-05-23T14:25:35Z")
Your dung. Three hundredweight of heavy droppings. Where do you want it? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6602 "2017-05-23T15:13:40Z")
Yes, his face became spotty, And his voice dropped down low And things started to grow On young Brian and show He was certainly no– No girl named ‘Brian,’ Not a girl named ‘Brian.’ And he started to shave And have one off the wrist And want to see girls And go out and get pissed, A man called ‘Brian’– This man called ‘Brian’– The man they called ‘Brian’– This man called ‘Brian’! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6603 "2017-05-23T16:47:31Z")
Are you embarrassed easily? I am. But it’s nothing to worry about. It’s all part of growing up and being British. This course is designed to eliminate embarrassment. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6604 "2017-05-23T18:51:46Z")
Simon and Vivian at the front coming to the Matchbox Jump… three layers of matchboxes to clear… and Simon’s over and Vivian’s over beautifully, oh and the jump of a lifetime - if only his father could understand. Here’s Nigel… and now Gervaise is over he’s, er, Nigel is over, and it’s Gervaise, Gervaise is going to jump it, is it, no, he’s jumped the wrong way, there he goes, Nigel’s over, beautifully. Now it’s only Oliver. Oliver… and Gervaise… oh, bad luck. And now it’s Kicking the Beggar. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2017, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6605 "2017-05-24T02:35:11Z")
No, it’s in the very small print, you see, sir, so as not to affect the sales. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2017, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6606 "2017-05-24T04:02:27Z")
Harrison, sir. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2017, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6607 "2017-05-24T09:46:25Z")
Can I call you “sugar plum”? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2017, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6608 "2017-05-24T14:13:41Z")
I will marry you sir, but please make up your mind. Please don’t trifle with my affections. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2017, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6609 "2017-05-24T14:33:02Z")
I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough-wiper! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2017, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6610 "2017-05-25T09:24:52Z")
He doesn’t do anything, he just sits there. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2017, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6611 "2017-05-25T22:59:44Z")
All I can give you is a name, number and a why did the chicken cross the road. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6612 "2017-05-26T01:26:13Z")
I want to go! I want to burn. I want to feel my bones burst into a billion pieces! I want to trace across the firmament, a glowing ball of flame, a testament to our godliness and piety! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6613 "2017-05-26T09:04:18Z")
I’ll have a slice without so much rat in it. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6614 "2017-05-26T15:06:28Z")
Oh, frabjous day! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6615 "2017-05-27T11:52:27Z")
Inflammation of the foreskin Reminds me of your smile I’ve had balanital chancroids For quite a little while I gave my heart to NSU That lovely night in June I ache for you, my darling, And I hope you’ll get well soon ``` My penile warts, your herpes, My syphilitic sore, Your monilial infection How I miss you more and more Your dobies itch my scrum-pox Ah, lovely gonorrhea At least we both were lying When we said that we were clear My clapped-out genitalia Is not so bad for me As the complete and utter failure Every time I try to pee I'm dying from your love, my love, I'm your spirochetal clown I've left my body to science, But I'm afraid they've turned it down Gonococcal urethritis Streptococcal balanitis Meningomyelitis Diplococcal catholitis Epidydimitis Interstitial keratitis Syphilitic coronitis And anterior ureitis. ``` ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6616 "2017-05-27T14:33:45Z")
Blimey, whatever did I give the wife? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2017, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6617 "2017-05-27T16:49:07Z")
Is she a goer, eh? Eh? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2017, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6618 "2017-05-28T00:10:08Z")
Pretend that drumstick is a mace. Oh, come on! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2017, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6619 "2017-05-28T13:17:49Z")
I don’t care how fucking runny it is. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2017, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6620 "2017-05-29T07:25:52Z")
He’s given me a very good idea. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=330) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=332)