# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 334
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6661 "2017-06-15T18:31:46Z")
We was too late… The Rev. Neuk saw the light. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2017, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6662 "2017-06-15T20:43:59Z")
Do you know that in our laboratories, we have developed a cheese sandwich that can withstand an impact of 4,000 pounds per square inch? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6663 "2017-06-16T01:51:34Z")
A good attempt there but unfortunately he chose a general appraisal of the work, before getting on to the story and as you can see he only got as far as page one of ‘Swarm’s Way’, the first of the seven volumes. A good try though and very nice posture. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6664 "2017-06-16T02:04:34Z")
_Gulliver_ No longer will food be squashed, crushed and damaged, by the ignorance and stupidity of the driver! Whole picnics will be built to withstand the most enormous forces! Snacks will be safer than ever! A simple pot of salad dressing, treated in our laboratories, has been subjected to the impact of a 4,000 pound steam hammer every day for the last sixteen years, and has it broken? \*Pither \* Er… well… _Gulliver_ Yes, of course it has. But there are other ideas - the safety straps for sardines, for instance. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6665 "2017-06-16T13:33:25Z")
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6666 "2017-06-16T15:32:09Z")
P-I-T-H-E-R… as in Brotherhood, but with PI instead of the BRO and no HOOD. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6667 "2017-06-16T15:59:09Z")
It’s… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6668 "2017-06-16T16:35:57Z")
I’m not a Roman, Mum! I’m a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose - I’m kosher, Mum, I’m a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6669 "2017-06-16T20:30:13Z")
It’s… ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6670 "2017-06-16T20:49:39Z")
…the Dreaded Black Beast of _Aaaaargh!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2017, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6671 "2017-06-16T20:50:00Z")
It’s… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2017, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6672 "2017-06-17T02:42:02Z")
No. 28. The naughty bits of the Cabinet. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2017, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6673 "2017-06-17T12:12:31Z")
Well, it was coughin’ up blood last night. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2017, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6674 "2017-06-17T12:50:46Z")
No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2017, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6675 "2017-06-17T21:19:54Z")
Is your name not Bruce, then? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2017, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6676 "2017-06-18T08:09:29Z")
The Minister of Technology met the three Russian leaders to discuss a 4 million pound airliner deal… None of them were indigenous to Australia, carried their young in pouches, or ate any of those yummy Eucalyptus leaves…Yum Yum. That’s the news for wombats… now Attila the Hun. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2017, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6677 "2017-06-18T17:35:20Z")
Black as the ace of spades! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6678 "2017-06-20T15:35:46Z")
What about us atheists? Why should we 'ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6679 "2017-06-20T15:48:39Z")
When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realized the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas. And, Protestantism doesn’t stop at the simple condom! Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want. French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress. Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry’s and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice: “Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I’ll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant!” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6680 "2017-06-21T07:43:57Z")
“All wood burns,” states Sir Bedevere. “Therefore,” he concludes, “all that burns is wood.” This is, of course, pure bullshit. Universal affirmatives can only be partially converted: all of Alma Cogan is dead, but only some of the class of dead people are Alma Cogan. “Oh yes,” one would think. However, my wife does not understand this necessary limitation of the conversion of a proposition; consequently, she does not understand me. For how can a woman expect to appreciate a professor of logic, if the simplest cloth-eared syllogism causes her to flounder? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=333) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=335)