# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 335
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2017, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6681 "2017-06-22T13:29:51Z")
I don’t understand what you’re saying. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2017, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6682 "2017-06-22T14:01:17Z")
Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by international communism, BICYCLE REPAIR MAN is ready! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2017, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6683 "2017-06-22T16:10:05Z")
Well, I would destroy the lower classes, first with bombs and rockets destroying their homes and then when they run screaming into the streets, mowing them down with submachine guns. I know these views aren’t popular, but I have never courted popularity. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6684 "2017-06-23T07:38:36Z")
We worship you, Oh, Brian, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Brian and to the Lord our Father. Amen. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6685 "2017-06-23T13:01:18Z")
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - oh damn! I can’t say it, you’ll have to say it. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6686 "2017-06-23T13:05:41Z")
It’s… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2017, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6687 "2017-06-23T17:59:06Z")
Do you want to come upstairs? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2017, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6688 "2017-06-24T01:15:27Z")
My Lord Mayor, Lady Mayoress, it gives me very great pleasure to return to my old school, to present the prizes in this centenary year. This school takes very justifiable pride in its fine record of… aaaaagh! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2017, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6689 "2017-06-25T09:27:50Z")
Oh no you didn’t! Oh yes I did! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2017, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6690 "2017-06-25T23:17:21Z")
Contempt of court. However, I’m not going to punish you, because we’re so short of judges at the moment, what with all of them emigrating to South Africa. I’m going tomorrow; I’ve got my ticket. Get out there and get some decent sentencing done. Ooh, England makes you sick. Best I can manage here is life imprisonment. It’s hardly worth coming in in the morning. Now, South Africa? You’ve got your cat of nine tails, you’ve got four death sentences a week, you’ve got cheap drinks, slave labor and a booming stock market. I’m off, I tell you. Yes, I’m up to here with probation and bleeding psychiatric reports. That’s it, I’m off. That’s it. Right. But I’m going to have one final fling before I leave, so I sentence you to be burnt at the stake. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2017, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6691 "2017-06-26T01:50:57Z")
Splunge! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2017, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6692 "2017-06-26T09:19:54Z")
I’d like the blow on the head. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2017, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6693 "2017-06-26T10:55:24Z")
It’s a smashing store this, I can’t recommend it too highly, well-lit, rat-free. It’s a joy to manage. Oh yes, the freshest haddock in London, second floor, third floor Ribena, ants here, television and flame throwers over there, behind them our dinner-wagon exhibition closes at six… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2017, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6694 "2017-06-26T14:37:44Z")
Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it’s up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2017, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6695 "2017-06-27T02:20:50Z")
I know. I know you can’t. I didn’t want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2017, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6696 "2017-06-27T06:14:26Z")
Othello’s a bugger too, mind you–especially the cleaning up afterwards, but he has nine hundred and forty-one words less than Hamlet. On the other hand, the coon’s got more pauses, sixty-two quite long ones, as I recall. But then they’re not so tricky, you see – you don’t have to do so much during them. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2017, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6697 "2017-06-27T16:02:17Z")
Lady Chairman, sir, shareholders, ladies and gentlemen. I have great pleasure in announcing that owing to a cutback on surplus expenditure of twelve million Canadian dollars, plus a refund of seven and a half million Deutschmarks from the Swiss branch, and in addition adding the debenture preference stock of the three and three quarter million to the directors’ reserve currency account of seven and a half million, plus an upward expenditure margin of eleven and a half thousand lira, due to a rise in capital investment of ten million pounds, this firm last year made a complete profit of a shilling. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2017, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6698 "2017-06-27T17:06:53Z")
Jolly good. Come this way. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2017, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6699 "2017-06-27T18:37:40Z")
Don’t call me Eddie-baby! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2017, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6700 "2017-06-28T10:57:27Z")
Hi Scarrie! Oh, sorry. Hi Stocky! Oh - I’m sorry again. Oh, Jim. I’m just unhappy with this line. Hey, can I do it all sort of kooky, like this? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=334) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=336)