# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 337
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2017, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6721 "2017-07-04T00:37:24Z")
There will now be a short intermission. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2017, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6722 "2017-07-04T03:13:31Z")
Does it come with wafers? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2017, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6723 "2017-07-04T10:21:00Z")
It’s my belief that these sheep are laborin’ under the misapprehension that they’re birds. Observe their be’avior. Take for a start the sheeps’ tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as… plummet. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2017, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6724 "2017-07-04T15:22:57Z")
There will now be a medium-sized intermission. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2017, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6725 "2017-07-04T23:41:01Z")
Well, while we’re waiting to take you back to Lord’s, we play you a recording of Alistair Cooke being attacked by a duck. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2017, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6726 "2017-07-05T04:05:36Z")
_'Course_ it’s a good idea! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2017, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6727 "2017-07-05T09:00:10Z")
I’ve just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2017, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6728 "2017-07-05T16:06:31Z")
Not much of a cheese shop, is it, really? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2017, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6729 "2017-07-05T18:15:49Z")
At lunchtime it’s a bottle of _vin ordinaire_. Six glasses and he’s ready to start agitating. Regards, Mrs. Premise ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6730 "2017-07-05T20:37:40Z")
Well, one day I was sitting at home threatening the kids, and I looked out of the hole in the wall and sees this tank drive up and one of Dinsdale’s boys gets out and he comes up, all nice and friendly-like, and says Dinsdale wants to have a talk with me. So he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape 'round to Dinsdale’s. And Dinsdale’s there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and a couple of film producers and a man they called “Kierkegaard,” who just sat there biting the heads off whippets, and Dinsdale said, “I hear you’ve been a naughty boy, Clement,” and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out, and I said, “My name’s not Clement,” and then he loses his temper and nails my head to the floor. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2017, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6731 "2017-07-05T23:13:30Z")
I hear you’ve been ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2017, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6732 "2017-07-06T02:27:34Z")
Right, that’s it, we’re going in. Release the vicious dogs. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2017, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6733 "2017-07-06T09:47:44Z")
Why is it that nobody remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty… de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle- dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2017, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6734 "2017-07-06T13:19:25Z")
LOL. That makes me laugh every time. Such a long name, followed by I think the shortest placename in Germany - to distinguish him from all the _other_ Johann Gambolputty etc. etc. etc von Hautkopfts! Moving on… _Dinsdale?_ ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2017, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6735 "2017-07-06T13:33:02Z")
That’s all right sir, we get all sorts of lines in here. The head waiter will be along to abuse you in a few moments, and now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and commit suicide. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2017, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6736 "2017-07-06T16:54:53Z")
What a great punchline! Save it, and make it into a series. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2017, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6737 "2017-07-06T20:07:59Z")
Well, how about a little Red Leicester? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6738 "2017-07-07T01:10:37Z")
No. 1. The Larch. The… Larch. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6739 "2017-07-07T02:01:43Z")
Number two. The shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6740 "2017-07-07T04:01:24Z")
Hang on a tick - this redistribution of wealth’s trickier than I thought. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=336) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=338)