# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 338
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6741 "2017-07-07T08:27:05Z")
The sycophants are one of the largest of marine carnivores. Their soft, furry underbellies made them a favourite target for hunters. Now, on this island, the sycophants come to breed every summer, protected by law. But they’re not the only breed which has been saved by a small body of men determined to preserve the dying species of the world. [_Shots of wooded mountain scenery._] Here, in his four thousand acre nature reserve in Southern Bavaria, Frank Tutankhamun has dedicated his life to preserving mice. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6742 "2017-07-07T15:14:34Z")
When the Piranhas left school they were called up, but were found by an Army board to be too unstable even for National Service. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6743 "2017-07-07T17:43:29Z")
Likewise if you were to ask us to slice the sides of a cow and serve it with small pieces of its liver … or indeed drain the life blood from a pig before cutting off one of its legs… or carve the living giblets from a sheep and serve them with the fresh brains, bowels, guts and spleen of a small rabbit… WE WOULDN’T DO IT. Not for food anyway. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6744 "2017-07-08T06:43:14Z")
Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how’s-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2017, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6745 "2017-07-09T00:19:08Z")
‘AND NOW…’ The horse chestnut. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2017, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6746 "2017-07-09T03:26:55Z")
How much do you hate the Romans? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2017, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6747 "2017-07-09T07:08:05Z")
And to start tonight’s show, let’s see our first contestant, all the way from Manchester, on the big screen please: MRS. BETTY TEAL! [_applause, which suddenly stops when the clap track tape breaks_] 'Ello, Mrs. Teal, lovely to have you on the show. Now Mrs. Teal, if you’re looking in tonight, this is for 15 pounds: and is to stop us from revealing the name of your LOVER IN BOULTON!! So, Mrs. Teal, send us 15 pounds, by return of post please, and your husband Trevor and your lovely children Diane, Janice, and Juliet, need never know the name… of your LOVER IN BOULTON! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2017, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6748 "2017-07-09T23:49:21Z")
Oh I don’t like him. Do you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean. I mean do you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean. I mean do you know what I mean. All men are the same. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6749 "2017-07-10T03:49:21Z")
A lot! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6750 "2017-07-10T07:53:40Z")
Bow!..Bow Wow Wow…Grrrrrr! Ipso Facto! Woof,woof,woof…Arggh!..Bow…Wow…Wow…Wow!..Sub Judice!..Grrrr!..Woof! Woof! Woof!Woof! And I recommend that you serve every one of those fifteen years…Next! Woof! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6751 "2017-07-10T13:37:51Z")
You’re not furnished, you fascist. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6752 "2017-07-10T16:06:01Z")
Once, one Sunday, when my parents were coming 'round for tea I asked him if he’d mind very much not nailing my head to the floor that week, and he agreed and just screwed my pelvis to a cake stand. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6753 "2017-07-10T22:11:21Z")
Hello, and welcome to Munich, for the 27th Silly Olympiad, an event held traditionally every 3.7 years, which this year has brought together competitors from over 4 million different countries. And here we are at the start of the first event of the afternoon: the second semifinal of the 100 yards for people with no sense of direction. Aah, to see the competitors; Lane One: Kolomovski of Poland; Lane Two: Zatapatique of France; Lane Three: Gropovich of the United States, next to him: Drabble of Trinidad, next to him: Fernandez of Spain, and in the outside lane: Bormann of Brazil! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6754 "2017-07-11T00:38:09Z")
And number three. The other foot. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6755 "2017-07-11T04:30:28Z")
Those are the rules, that’s the game, we’re all out of time, 'til next time, bye bye! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6756 "2017-07-11T12:15:03Z")
I’ve been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6757 "2017-07-11T16:57:04Z")
Well, what about those juniper bushes over there? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6758 "2017-07-11T21:07:50Z")
I’ve got ninety thousand pounds in my pajamas I’ve got forty thousand French francs in my fridge I’ve got lots of lovely lira Now the deutschmark’s getting dearer, And my dollar bill could buy the Brooklyn Bridge. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6759 "2017-07-12T02:20:51Z")
Number four. The bridge of the nose. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6760 "2017-07-12T03:31:28Z")
That rabbit’s dynamite! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=337) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=339)