# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 355
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2018, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7081 "2018-01-09T20:13:13Z")
There’s no such thing as a fish license. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7082 "2018-01-10T00:13:36Z")
Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… with… a herring! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7083 "2018-01-10T04:59:15Z")
Denied the opportunity to use their talents in the service of their country, [the Piranha brothers] began to operate what they called ‘The Operation’. They would select a victim and then threaten to beat him up if he paid the so-called protection money. Four months later they started another operation which the called ‘The Other Operation’. In this racket they selected another victim and threatened not to beat him up if he didn’t pay them. One month later they hit upon ‘The Other Other Operation’. In this the victim was threatened that if he _didn’t_ pay them, they would beat him up. This, for the Piranha brothers, was the turning point. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2018, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7084 "2018-01-11T19:57:15Z")
A vital online source for Python fans of all ages: [http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hovercraft.htm](http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hovercraft.htm) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2018, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7085 "2018-01-11T23:06:52Z")
Yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7086 "2018-01-11T23:13:23Z")
Are there any _women_ here? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2018, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7087 "2018-01-11T23:52:43Z")
We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life – bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2018, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7088 "2018-01-12T05:59:09Z")
She’s got huuuge… tracts of land! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2018, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7089 "2018-01-13T03:38:00Z")
Oh yes, I mean their use of color with fabrics is fantastic. I saw their pattern book the other day - beautiful, beautiful. Savage tans, great slabs of black set against aggressive orange. It really makes you want to shout out, this is good! This is real! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2018, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7090 "2018-01-13T04:09:28Z")
…nice though the abattoir is. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2018, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7091 "2018-01-14T04:36:04Z")
But I _am_ a chartered accountant. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2018, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7092 "2018-01-15T18:11:31Z")
You promised you wouldn’t do fruit this week. ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2018, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7093 "2018-01-15T19:38:50Z")
Our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in chartered accountancy they are a positive boon. ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2018, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7094 "2018-01-15T19:54:25Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Shut up. It’s about your advertising campaign for Conquistador Coffee. Now, I’ve had the managing director of Conquistador to see me this morning and he’s very unhappy with your campaign. Very unhappy. In fact, he’s shot himself. Well, before he went he left a note with the company secretary, the effect of which was how disappointed he was with your work and, in particular, why you had changed the name from Conquistador Instant Coffee to Conquistador Instant Leprosy. Why, Frog? S. Frog, sir. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2018, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7095 "2018-01-16T02:52:15Z")
If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy, would it? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2018, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7096 "2018-01-16T03:17:25Z")
Well, I would destroy the lower classes, first with bombs and rockets destroying their homes and then when they run screaming into the streets, mowing them down with submachine guns. I know these views aren’t popular, but I have never courted popularity. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7097 "2018-01-16T17:43:56Z")
Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious athletic turn this show has now taken. Why can’t we hear more about the human body? There is nothing embarrassing or nasty about the human body except for the intestines and bits of the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2018, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7098 "2018-01-17T03:25:46Z")
Dear Sir, I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the song which you have just broadcast about the lumberjack who wears women’s clothes. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks, and only a few of them are transvestites. Yours faithfully, Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.) P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2018, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7099 "2018-01-17T20:11:43Z")
If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the Cherry Fondue. Now this is extremely nasty… but we can’t prosecute you for that. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2018, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7100 "2018-01-18T01:52:13Z")
This house is surrounded. I must ask that no one leave the room. I’m Chief Superintendent Lookout. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=354) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=356)