# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 356
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2018, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7101 "2018-01-18T03:41:50Z")
Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2018, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7102 "2018-01-18T15:35:08Z")
But don’t you see, I came here to find a new job, a new life, a new meaning to my existence. Can’t you help me? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2018, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7103 "2018-01-18T16:20:27Z")
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2018, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7104 "2018-01-19T16:08:25Z")
Well, isn’t that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2018, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7105 "2018-01-19T16:13:01Z")
I’m afraid we’re fresh out of Red Leicester. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2018, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7106 "2018-01-19T16:15:12Z")
My brain hurts! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2018, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7107 "2018-01-22T04:48:38Z")
Er, nothing, nothing at all, sir. We were wondering if you could see your way clear…to giving us…a quick… a quick… visual. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2018, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7108 "2018-01-22T20:51:14Z")
Er, we’ve got corsets, stockings, suspender belts, tights, bras, slips, petticoats, knickers, socks and garters, sir. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2018, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7109 "2018-01-23T00:16:28Z")
Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today I think I’ll have a French tickler, for _I_ am a Protestant! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2018, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7110 "2018-01-23T15:14:01Z")
Yes that’s right. It’s all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a sboolboy. I was attacked by a bat. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2018, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7111 "2018-01-23T15:18:17Z")
A cat? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7112 "2018-01-23T15:28:52Z")
Silly bunt. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2018, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7113 "2018-01-25T03:31:50Z")
…and Colin ‘Bomber’ Harris has knocked himself out and so he is the winner! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2018, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7114 "2018-01-25T15:26:53Z")
But now the men of the Derbyshire Light Infantry entertain us with a precision display of bad temper. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2018, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7115 "2018-01-28T05:27:18Z")
7.30 Fed cat. 8.00 Breakfast. 8.30 Yes (successfully). 9.00 Set out on historic journey. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7116 "2018-01-30T00:13:04Z")
M-hmm. Well, it’s nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats. Where’s the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here’s the theme music. Goodnight. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7117 "2018-01-30T20:46:23Z")
Oooh, get her! Whoops! I’ve got your number, ducky. You couldn’t afford me, dear. Two three. I’d scratch your eyes out. Don’t come the brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you’ve been, you military fairy. Whoops, don’t look now, girls, the major’s just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant, two, three, ooh-ho! ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7118 "2018-01-31T01:51:36Z")
Well, it’s funny you should ask that, because I’ve just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7119 "2018-01-31T05:43:02Z")
He’s a _reaper_. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7120 "2018-01-31T16:57:14Z")
Don’t be so bleedin’ stupid. If you lived in bleedin’ Rhodesia, you’d be out at bleedin’ fascist rallies every bleedin’ day. You’re a bleedin’ racist, you bleedin’ are. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=355) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=357)