# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 361
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2018, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7201 "2018-03-26T17:22:10Z")
nd the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.’ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2018, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7202 "2018-03-26T19:02:13Z")
No, no, sir, it’s all right - we don’t morally censor you, we just want the money. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2018, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7203 "2018-03-27T15:14:20Z")
Now I’m really cheesed off. I mean it’s not your high-brow bleeding plays that pull in the viewers, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7204 "2018-03-28T14:33:14Z")
Perhaps he was dictating. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7205 "2018-03-28T14:35:01Z")
Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2018, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7206 "2018-03-28T15:34:51Z")
Aye, and what were all that dancing through Ray Illingworth’s innings? Forty-seven not out and the bird comes up and feed him some grapes! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7207 "2018-04-01T20:38:24Z")
Your Highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat’s piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7208 "2018-04-01T20:44:48Z")
Don’t call me Señor! I’m not a Spanish person. You must call me Mr Biggles, or Group Captain Biggles, or Mary Biggles if I’m dressed as my wife, but never Señor. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2018, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7209 "2018-04-02T03:27:14Z")
It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2018, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7210 "2018-04-03T15:29:53Z")
I don’t know. Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that’s all - I didn’t expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2018, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7211 "2018-04-03T17:41:57Z")
No, no, he’s not dead, he’s… he’s restin’! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, innit, eh? Beautiful plumage! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7212 "2018-04-05T15:42:29Z")
There shall, in that time, be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi-- with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend’s hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o’clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that, in that time, shall the third one… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2018, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7213 "2018-04-05T17:09:58Z")
Oooo, I’ve had a bitch of a morning, luv! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2018, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7214 "2018-04-07T23:59:59Z")
Yes, yes… I wondered if you have any part-time vacancies on your books. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7215 "2018-04-08T01:47:51Z")
Every sperm is sacred. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2018, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7216 "2018-04-08T23:32:11Z")
Not working fast enough? Well, there’s an answer for that. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2018, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7217 "2018-04-09T12:24:34Z")
Oh shit, it’s Mr. Creosote! ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2018, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7218 "2018-04-09T12:50:41Z")
It’s just that I get so sick of always having to be like the Cheap-Laughs. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2018, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7219 "2018-04-09T12:53:05Z")
Wait until Biggus Dickus hears of this!!! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7220 "2018-04-10T02:37:19Z")
He goes down to the public library, he sees a few signs up, comes home all full of good intentions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=360) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=362)