# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 363
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2018, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7241 "2018-04-23T17:20:41Z")
The Management regrets that it will not be showing a feature film this evening as it eats into the profits. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7242 "2018-04-24T03:48:43Z")
Can I call you ‘Frank’? Richard Nixon’s got a hedgehog called Frank. Now, Frank – Fran – Frannie – little Frannie-pooh… ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7243 "2018-04-24T05:03:03Z")
Oh, most magnificent and merciful majesty, master of the universe, protector of the meek, whose nose we are not worthy to pick and whose very feces are an untrammelled delight, and whose peacocks keep us awake all hours of the night with their noisy lovemaking, we beseech thee, tell thy humble servants the name of the section between the triglyphs in the frieze section of a classical Doric entablature. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7244 "2018-04-24T05:29:43Z")
I’m turning you all out! I’m not having my house filled with filthy perverts. Now look, I’m giving you just half a minute then I’m going to call the police, so _get out!_ ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7245 "2018-04-24T14:06:54Z")
No right, well gentlemen, I’ll just remind you of the faculty rules: Rule one - no pooftahs. Rule two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way whatsoever - if there’s anybody watching. Rule three - no pooftahs. Rule four - I don’t want to catch anyone not drinking in their room after lights out. Rule five - no pooftahs. Rule six - there is no rule six! Rule seven - no pooftahs. That concludes the reading of the rules, Bruce. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7246 "2018-04-24T16:50:11Z")
Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that sketch about people failing out of a high building. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once… arrgghhh ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7247 "2018-04-24T18:21:35Z")
Kiss me, Hardy! ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7248 "2018-04-24T19:22:51Z")
From the plastic arts we turn to football. Last night in the Stadium of Light, Jarrow, we witnessed the resuscitation of a great footballing tradition, when Jarrow United came of age, in a European sense, with an almost Proustian display of modern existentialist football. Virtually annihilating by midfield moral argument the now surely obsolescent catennachio defensive philosophy of Signor Alberto Fanffino. Bologna indeed were a side intellectually out argued by a Jarrow team thrusting and bursting with aggressive Kantian positivism and outstanding in this fine Jarrow team was my man of the match, the arch-thinker, free scheming, scarcely ever to be curbed, midfield cognoscento, Jimmy Buzzard. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2018, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7249 "2018-04-24T19:39:03Z")
Perhaps he was dictating. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2018, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7250 "2018-04-25T15:59:22Z")
What do you mean! I’ve smuggled watches before, you know! I’ve smuggled bombs, cameras, microfilms, aircraft components, you name it - I’ve smuggled it. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2018, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7251 "2018-04-25T22:11:36Z")
No you haven’t! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2018, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7252 "2018-04-25T23:28:32Z")
Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my own spare time. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7253 "2018-04-26T13:44:52Z")
…The Larch. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7254 "2018-04-27T13:27:57Z")
Then. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7255 "2018-04-27T13:43:49Z")
A duck! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2018, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7256 "2018-04-28T01:50:12Z")
There is little or no offensive material, apart from four c\*\*\*s, one clitoris, and a foreskin, and as they only occur in this opening introduction, you are past them now. You can relax and enjoy this quality product, secure in the knowledge that it has been specially created for the lover of fine things and the man of good taste." \* FART \* ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7257 "2018-04-29T17:04:17Z")
Enough of this gay banter. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7258 "2018-05-01T03:38:34Z")
No, so Jack Bodel has defeated Sir Kenneth Clark in the very first round here tonight and so this big Lincolnshire heavyweight becomes the new Oxford Professor of Fine Art. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7259 "2018-05-01T13:26:32Z")
Greeat! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7260 "2018-05-01T18:36:42Z")
What’s so… funny about ‘Biggus Dickus’? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=362) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=364)