# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 371
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2018, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7401 "2018-07-20T17:33:32Z")
Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can’t tell the difference between Whizzo butter and a dead crab. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2018, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7402 "2018-07-21T01:56:38Z")
You can catch it off lampposts. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7403 "2018-07-23T04:50:46Z")
Well, it’s five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On BBC 2 now it’ll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it’ll be ten o’clock and at 10.30 we’ll be joining BBC 2 in time for 10.33, and don’t forget tomorrow when it’ll be 9.20. Those of you who missed 8.45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine. Now here is a time check. It’s six and a half minutes to the big green thing. ---
**Author:** ![edspellman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@edspellman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edspellman)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7404 "2018-07-23T13:27:58Z")
“It’s just gone 8 o’clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.” (Penguin explodes) “How did he know that was going to happen?” “It was an inspired guess, and now…” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7405 "2018-07-23T15:33:55Z")
You see, what I really wanted was a regiment where I could be really quiet and have more time to myself to work with fabrics, and creating new concepts in interior design. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7406 "2018-07-23T16:49:51Z")
When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7407 "2018-07-23T16:53:16Z")
Dame Elsie Occluded, historian, wit, bon viveur, and rear half of the Johnson brothers… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7408 "2018-07-23T18:14:23Z")
_Marriage counselor:_ And what is the name of your ravishing wife? (holds her hand) Wait. Don’t tell me. It’s something to do with moonlight - it goes with her eyes. It’s soft and gentle, warm and yielding, deeply lyrical and yet tender and frightened like a tiny white rabbit. _Arthur Pewty:_ It’s Deidre. ---
**Author:** ![edspellman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@edspellman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edspellman)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7409 "2018-07-23T22:07:15Z")
Hello… no, not now…shtoom…shtoom…right…yes, we’ll have the watch ready for you at midnight…the watch…the Chinese watch…yes, right-oh, bye-bye…mother. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7410 "2018-07-23T22:30:06Z")
Oh Bevis! And I thought you were so rugged. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7411 "2018-07-24T04:11:15Z")
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do, and there ain’t no sense in runnin’. Now you gotta turn, and you gotta fight, and you gotta hold your head up high. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7412 "2018-07-24T17:18:41Z")
Silence, naughty lady of the night! ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7413 "2018-07-25T11:29:04Z")
Wait for it! ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7414 "2018-07-25T15:32:17Z")
You’ve injured Mr Stools! ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2018, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7415 "2018-07-25T17:29:42Z")
What was that about hats, again? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2018, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7416 "2018-07-27T13:47:16Z")
Hello. I’d like to talk to you tonight about a minority group of people who have no mental or physical handicaps and, who, through no fault of their own, have never been deprived, and consequently are forced to live in conditions of extreme luxury. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7417 "2018-07-29T01:24:26Z")
Bit lumpy…Ah, no wonder, I was sitting on the cat. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7418 "2018-07-29T21:43:15Z")
Taking life as it comes, sharing the good things and the bad things, finding laughter and fun wherever they go - it is with these two happy-go-lucky rogues that our story begins. For it is they who were run over by Alex Diamond international crime fighter and playboy … fast-moving … tough-talking … and just one of the many hundreds of famous people who suffer from lumbago, the epidemic disease about which no one knows more than this man … Dr Emile Koning … doctor … surgeon … proctologist … and selfless fighter against human suffering, whose doorbell was the one above the hero of our story tonight … Rear-Admiral Humphrey De Vere! Yes! This is the story of Rear-Admiral Humphrey De Vere … or rather, the story of his daughter. For it was her courage, foresight and understanding that enabled us to probe beneath the sophisticated veneer of the Royal Arsenal Women’s College, Bagshot and learn the true story of this man … Len Hanky! Chiropodist, voyeur, hen-teaser. ---
**Author:** ![edspellman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@edspellman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edspellman)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7419 "2018-07-30T05:05:14Z")
Lemon curry? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/7420 "2018-07-30T15:09:57Z")
We don’t have any books. We’re fresh out of them. Good morning! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=370) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=372)