# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 419
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2021, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8372 "2021-03-30T16:32:51Z")
Dad… it’s the man from ‘The Hay Wain’ by Constable to see you. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2021, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8373 "2021-03-31T14:24:36Z")
Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell’s tungsten carbide drills? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2021, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8374 "2021-03-31T15:13:13Z")
But it’s my only line! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2021, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8375 "2021-04-01T16:38:00Z")
You’re all bloody fancy talk since you left London. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2021, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8376 "2021-04-01T17:32:02Z")
_Opening titles_ THE PANTOMIME HORSE IS A SECRET AGENT FILM. WRITTEN BY TALBOT ROTHWELL AND MIREILLE MATHIEU. BASED ON AN IDEA BY EDWARD VII. DIRECTED BY QUEEN JULIANA OF THE NETHERLANDS. PRODUCED BY SIR ALEC DOUGLAS-HOME AND KING HAAKON OF NORWAY. A CORPSE-HAKKON PRODUCTION. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2021, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8377 "2021-04-01T21:43:45Z")
He’s had a hard day, dear; his new play opens at the National Theatre tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2021, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8378 "2021-04-02T01:09:32Z")
Well one day I was sitting at home threatening the kids, and I looked out of the hole in the wall and sees this tank drive up and one of Dinsdale’s boys gets out and he comes up, all nice and friendly like, and says Dinsdale wants to have a talk with me. So he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape round to Dinsdale’s. And Dinsdale’s there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and a couple of film producers and a man they called ‘Kierkegaard’, who just sat there biting the heads of whippets and Dinsdale sayd ‘I hear you’ve been a naughty boy Clement’ and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out, and I said my name’s not Clement and then he loses his temper and nails my head to the floor. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8379 "2021-04-03T00:39:58Z")
I’m not dead! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8380 "2021-04-03T03:39:28Z")
Denied the opportunity to use their talents in the service of their country, they began to operate what they called “The Operation.” They would select a victim and then threaten to beat him up _if_ he paid the so-called protection money. Four months later, they started another operation which they called “The Other Operation.” In this racket, they selected another victim and threatened _not_ to beat him up if he _didn’t_ pay them. One month later, they hit upon “The Other Other Operation.” In this, the victim was threatened that if he _didn’t_ pay them, they would beat him up. This, for the Piranha Brothers, was the turning point. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8381 "2021-04-03T17:47:43Z")
I think I’ll go for a walk! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8382 "2021-04-03T18:24:15Z")
As their empire spread however, we in Q Division were keeping tabs on their every move by reading the colour supplements. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8383 "2021-04-03T18:58:39Z")
You’re not fooling anybody, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8384 "2021-04-04T03:18:50Z")
I remember Doug was very keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He was very interested in that. His mother had a terrible job getting him to come in for tea. Putting his little boot in he’d be, bless him. All the kids were like that then; they didn’t have their heads stuffed with all this Cartesian dualism. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2021, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8385 "2021-04-07T13:55:13Z")
No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2021, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8386 "2021-04-07T17:07:09Z")
Another man who had his head nailed to the floor was Stig O’Tracy. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2021, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8387 "2021-04-07T22:25:27Z")
It is easy for us to judge Dinsdale Piranha too harshly. After all he only did what many of us simply dream of doing… _(tic…controls himself)_ I’m sorry. After all a murderer is only an extroverted suicide. Dinsdale was a looney, but he was a happy looney. Lucky bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2021, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8388 "2021-04-10T04:50:07Z")
But our sales would plummet! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2021, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8389 "2021-04-10T12:39:05Z")
We are here today to witness the opening of a new _box_ to replace the _box_ which used to stand at the corner of Ulverston Road and Sandwood Crescent. Owing to the road-widening programme carried out by the Borough Council, the Ulverston Road _box_ was removed, leaving the wall _box_ in Esher Road as the only _box_ for the Ulverston Road area. This new _box_ will enable the people of the Ulverston Road area to post letters, post-cards and small packages without recourse to the Esher Road _box_ or to the _box_ outside the post office at Turner’s Parade which many people used to use, but which has now been discontinued owing to the opening of this _box_ and also the re-organization of _box_ distribution throughout the whole area, which comes into force with the opening of new _boxes_ at the Wyatt Road Post Office in July. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2021, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8390 "2021-04-10T15:36:02Z")
I think it’s be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label warning “LARK’S VOMIT.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2021, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8391 "2021-04-10T15:37:51Z")
Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your spam. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=418) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=420)