# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 420
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2021, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8392 "2021-04-11T03:32:45Z")
But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2021, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8393 "2021-04-11T18:32:49Z")
. _(and CAPTION:)_ ‘THE BBC WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE NEXT ANNOUNCEMENT’ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2021, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8394 "2021-04-12T16:10:57Z")
Oh, well, you want the Durham Light Infantry then, sir. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2021, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8395 "2021-04-13T01:00:20Z")
Say no more! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2021, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8396 "2021-04-14T14:15:16Z")
Watch it - still a few crosses left. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2021, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8397 "2021-04-14T14:39:08Z")
Say no more! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2021, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8398 "2021-04-14T15:54:48Z")
It’s Dierdre. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2021, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8399 "2021-04-14T16:07:08Z")
Monty Python’s Flying Circus tonight comes to you live from the Grillomat Snack Bar, Paignton. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2021, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8400 "2021-04-14T16:34:03Z")
If I now call Mr. Chipperfield and say to him, “Look here, I’ve got a forty-five-year-old chartered accountant with me who wants to become a lion tamer,” his first question is not going to be, “Does he have his own hat?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2021, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8401 "2021-04-14T21:56:06Z")
Mind you I didn’t join the police force just to wear the helmets you know. That just happens to be one of the little perks. There are plenty of jobs where I could have worn a helmet, but not such a nice helmet. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2021, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8402 "2021-04-15T13:17:59Z")
This is Ken Clean-Air Systems, the great white hope of the British boxing world. After three fights - and only two convictions - his manager believes that Ken is now ready to face the giant American, Satellite Five. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2021, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8403 "2021-04-15T13:41:50Z")
Now the Japanese have a man who can bend his leg back over his head and back again with every single step. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2021, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8404 "2021-04-15T13:43:14Z")
The great thing about Ken is that he’s almost totally stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2021, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8405 "2021-04-15T15:37:18Z")
Does he have his own hat? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2021, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8406 "2021-04-16T14:41:17Z")
Every morning, he jogs the forty-seven miles from his two-bedroomed, eight-bathroom, six-up-two-down, three-to-go-house in Reigate, to the Government’s Pesticide Research Centre at Shoreham. Nobody knows why. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2021, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8407 "2021-04-17T13:06:46Z")
She turned me into a newt. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2021, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8408 "2021-04-19T16:37:01Z")
Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night, rubbing it with Germoline and banging its head on the table. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2021, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8409 "2021-04-19T16:37:24Z")
My hovercraft is full of eels. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2021, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8410 "2021-04-19T16:43:19Z")
Oh, he was such a pretty baby, always so kind and gentle. He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you’d expect to pulverize his opponent into a bloody mass of flesh and raw bone, spitting teeth and fragments of gum into a ring which had become one man’s hell and Ken’s glory. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2021, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8411 "2021-04-19T17:54:16Z")
``` Take this bus to Cuba. ``` [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=419) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=421)