# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 422
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2021, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8432 "2021-05-03T20:18:04Z")
I want that man fighting wild dogs by the end of the day! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2021, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8433 "2021-05-04T14:28:51Z")
I want you kids to get _a head!_ :: canned laughter :: ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2021, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8434 "2021-05-04T15:34:45Z")
Blessed are the cheesemakers. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2021, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8435 "2021-05-05T14:48:09Z")
Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Hegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism, and is also in charge of the sheep dip. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2021, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8436 "2021-05-05T15:41:32Z")
I’m not oppressing you, Stan. You haven’t got a womb! Where’s the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2021, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8437 "2021-05-05T16:12:52Z")
Bloody Romans. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2021, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8438 "2021-05-05T20:16:00Z")
Can we have your liver then? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2021, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8439 "2021-05-05T20:27:43Z")
Ah, hungry! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2021, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8440 "2021-05-05T20:55:15Z")
Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of Blood, Devastation, Death War and Horror, and later on we’ll be meeting a man who does gardening. But first on the show we’ve got a man who speaks entirely in anagrams. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2021, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8441 "2021-05-06T13:29:26Z")
He ran away! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2021, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8442 "2021-05-06T15:52:50Z")
Good morning, I am a bank robber. Er, please don’t panic, just hand over all your money. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2021, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8443 "2021-05-06T18:53:05Z")
At seven o’clock Ken gets up, he has a quick shower, a rub-down, gets into his track-suit, and goes back to bed again. At 7:50 every morning Ken’s trainer runs the 13,000 miles from his two-room lean-to in Bangkok and gets him up. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2021, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8444 "2021-05-06T18:54:04Z")
This is a lingerie shop. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2021, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8445 "2021-05-07T00:35:45Z")
I will not buy this tobacconist’s, it is scratched. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2021, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8446 "2021-05-07T13:08:18Z")
I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2021, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8447 "2021-05-07T14:29:38Z")
I used to wake Ken up with a crowbar on the back of the head. But I recently found that this was too far from his brain and I wasn’t getting through to him anymore. So I now wake him up with a steel peg driven into his skull with a mallet. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2021, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8448 "2021-05-07T15:33:56Z")
My brain hurts! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2021, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8449 "2021-05-07T16:22:19Z")
For breakfast every day, Ken places a plate of liver and bacon under his chair, and locks himself in the cupboard. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2021, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8450 "2021-05-08T17:41:20Z")
One on’t cross beams gone owt askew on treddle. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2021, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8451 "2021-05-08T19:22:15Z")
Well, he’s having a lot of mental difficulties with his breakfasts, but this is temporary, caused by a small particle of brain in his skull, and once we’ve removed that he’ll be perfectly all right. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=421) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=423)