# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 426
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8512 "2021-06-09T14:43:44Z")
Have you confused your cat lately? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8513 "2021-06-09T17:04:24Z")
I’ve got a slug. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8514 "2021-06-09T17:37:00Z")
My hovercraft is full of eels. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2021, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8515 "2021-06-09T19:57:34Z")
My brain hurts! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8516 "2021-06-10T01:11:22Z")
[Gigantic foot descends and stomps someone flat.] ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8517 "2021-06-10T15:32:39Z")
He’s pinin’ for the fjords. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8518 "2021-06-10T16:28:49Z")
Can we have your liver then? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8519 "2021-06-10T22:24:33Z")
Venezuelan beaver cheese? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2021, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8520 "2021-06-10T23:18:38Z")
It’s… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8521 "2021-06-11T15:28:20Z")
Right. Now write it a hundred times before sunup, or I’ll cut your balls off. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2021, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8522 "2021-06-11T17:33:18Z")
Good evening and welcome to ‘The Money Programme’. Tonight on ‘The Money Programme’, we’re going to look at money. Lots of it. On film, and in the studio. Some of it in nice piles, others in lovely clanky bits of loose change, some of it neatly counted into fat little hundreds, delicate fivers stuffed into bulging wallets, nice crisp clean cheques, pert pieces of copper coinage thrust deep into trouser pockets, romantic foreign money rolling against the thigh with rough familiarity, _(starting to get excited)_ beautiful wayward curlicued banknotes, filigree copperplating cheek by jowl with tumbling hexagonal milled edges, rubbing gently against the terse leather of beautifully balanced bank books _(collects himself)_ I’m sorry. But I love money. All money. I’ve always wanted money. _(getting worked up again)_ To handle. To touch. The smell of the rain-washed florin. The lure of the lira. _(standing on the desk)_ The glitter and the glory of the guinea. The romance of the rouble. The feel of the franc, the heel of the Deutschmark. The cold antiseptic sting of the Swiss franc, and the sunburnt splendor of the Australian dollar. _(sings to piano accompaniment)_ I’ve got ninety thousand pounds in my pajamas. I’ve got forty thousand French francs in my fridge. I’ve got lots and lots of lira, Now the deutschmark’s getting dearer, And my dollar bill could buy the Brooklyn Bridge. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2021, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8523 "2021-06-12T00:23:07Z")
I don’t have any ice creams; I’ve just got this albatross. ALBATROSS! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2021, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8524 "2021-06-12T04:18:00Z")
What makes you think she’s a witch? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2021, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8525 "2021-06-12T11:40:35Z")
I did my whole, “Serious offense” bit and then I waggled me wig! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2021, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8526 "2021-06-13T18:03:48Z")
Well, one day I was sitting at home threatening the kids, and I looked out of the hole in the wall and sees this tank drive up and one of Dinsdale’s boys gets out and he comes up, all nice and friendly-like, and says Dinsdale wants to have a talk with me. So he chains me to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape 'round to Dinsdale’s. And Dinsdale’s there in the conversation pit with Doug and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and a couple of film producers and a man they called “Kierkegaard,” who just sat there biting the heads off whippets, and Dinsdale said, “I hear you’ve been a naughty boy, Clement,” and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and pulls me liver out, and I said, “My name’s not Clement,” and then he loses his temper and nails my head to the floor. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2021, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8527 "2021-06-13T19:15:07Z")
I’ve just spent four hours burying the cat. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2021, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8528 "2021-06-15T16:14:41Z")
We’re going to have our budgie put down. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2021, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8529 "2021-06-24T11:46:16Z")
Ah, no, no. My name is _spelt_ ‘Luxury Yacht’ but it’s pronounced ‘Throatwobbler Mangrove’. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2021, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8530 "2021-06-24T13:40:26Z")
O Lord, we beseech Thee, tell us who croaked Leicester. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2021, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8531 "2021-06-24T16:49:31Z")
Bicycle Repair Man! But how? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=425) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=427)