# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 428
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8552 "2021-07-11T15:16:47Z")
It was one of Wilde’s. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2021, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8553 "2021-07-11T15:21:40Z")
It’s about your advertising campaign for Conquistador Coffee. Now, I’ve had the managing director of Conquistador to see me this morning and he’s very unhappy with your campaign. Very unhappy. In fact, he’s shot himself. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8554 "2021-07-12T13:38:27Z")
Very very witty… very very witty. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8555 "2021-07-12T13:38:47Z")
It’s all gotten rather silly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8556 "2021-07-12T15:08:26Z")
There is only one thing worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8557 "2021-07-12T16:03:39Z")
Now, old woman! You are accused of heresy on three counts. Heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action. _Four_ counts. Do you confess? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8558 "2021-07-12T20:22:49Z")
Your Majesty is like a big jam doughnut with cream on the top. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2021, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8559 "2021-07-12T20:37:05Z")
Uh-oh, here comes that wacky queen again! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8560 "2021-07-13T13:40:55Z")
Well, Your Highness, what I meant was that, like a doughnut, um, your arrival gives us pleasure and your departure only makes us hungry for more. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8561 "2021-07-13T14:27:58Z")
Read all abaht it! Read all abaht it! Man turns into Scotsman! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8562 "2021-07-13T17:39:49Z")
A Møøse once bit my sister… No realli! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8563 "2021-07-13T19:48:33Z")
I will not buy this record, it is scratched. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8564 "2021-07-13T21:18:19Z")
(Have a look here: [John Cleese and a Life of Brian stage show](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/john-cleese-and-a-life-of-brian-stage-show/946425)) You’re fucking nicked, me old beauty! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2021, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8565 "2021-07-13T21:29:51Z")
It’s a fair cop. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8566 "2021-07-14T19:08:44Z")
Lovely people, the Romans. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2021, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8567 "2021-07-14T20:07:13Z")
Michael, do you think you know what a larch tree looks like? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2021, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8568 "2021-07-15T00:45:21Z")
A path, a path! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2021, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8569 "2021-07-15T12:03:40Z")
No. 3. The Larch. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2021, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8570 "2021-07-15T15:49:13Z")
_Mock_ frog? We use no artificial ingredients of any kind! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2021, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8571 "2021-07-15T16:30:24Z")
| Judge Kilbraken | Blimey! I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition. | | --- | --- | | | Court reacts expectantly. Cut to suburban house. The three members of the Spanish Inquisition suddenly belt out of the door and down the path. Dick Barton music. Cut to them leaping onto a bus. | | Ximinez | Two, er, three to the Old Bailey please. | | | Credits start superimposed. | | Biggles | Look they’ve started the credits. | | Ximinez | Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. | | Biggles | Come on hurry. Hurry! | | | We see shots of them coming through London. | | Ximinez | There’s the lighting credit, only five left. (more shots of the bus going through London; the credits reach the producer) Hell, it’s the producer - quick! | | | They leap off the bus into the Old Bailey. Cut to court room. They burst in. | | Ximinez | Nobody expects the Spa… (‘The End’ appears) Oh bugger! | [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=427) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=429)