# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 433
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2021, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8652 "2021-08-16T18:45:27Z")
Tell you what though, for free, terriers make lovely fish. I mean I could do that for you straight away. Legs off, fins on, stick a little pipe through the back of its neck so it can breathe, bit of gold paint, make good … ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2021, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8653 "2021-08-16T22:53:44Z")
Have the new paper clips arrived, Enid? ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2021, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8654 "2021-08-17T13:31:50Z")
I’ve got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2021, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8655 "2021-08-17T13:38:46Z")
Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2021, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8656 "2021-08-17T14:00:16Z")
| Gaskell | Good evening all, my love. I have returned safe from the Low Countries. (she hurriedly hides the book she is reading under some knitting and starts whistling) What are thou reading, fair one? | | --- | --- | | Wife | Oh, 'tis nothing, husband. | | Gaskell | I can see 'tis something. | | Wife | 'Tis one of Shakespeare’s latest works. | | | Gaskell picks up the book and reads the title. | | Gaskell | Oh …‘Gay Boys in Bondage’ What, is’t - tragedy? Comedy? | ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2021, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8657 "2021-08-17T14:40:52Z")
It’s only a model. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2021, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8658 "2021-08-17T14:44:25Z")
[Big foot splat] ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2021, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8659 "2021-08-17T21:57:10Z")
Me heap big fan Cicely Courtneidge. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2021, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8660 "2021-08-17T22:28:17Z")
Yes. When Beethoven went deaf the mynah bird just used to mime. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2021, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8661 "2021-08-18T02:31:48Z")
Juuuuust remember that you’re standing on a planet that’s evolving And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour That’s orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it’s reckoned A sun that is the source of all our power ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2021, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8662 "2021-08-18T13:57:05Z")
Have you got all the stuffing up one end? ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2021, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8663 "2021-08-18T14:37:53Z")
Well, that’s the end of the film. Now, here’s the meaning of life. Thank you, Brigitte. M-hmm. Well, it’s nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations, and, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats-- Where’s the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here’s the theme music. Goodnight. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2021, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8664 "2021-08-18T16:17:36Z")
Always look on the bright side of life. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2021, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8665 "2021-08-18T19:30:25Z")
Your Majesty is like a stream of bat’s piss. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2021, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8666 "2021-08-18T20:41:46Z")
Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you shout… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2021, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8667 "2021-08-19T18:50:45Z")
What are you thinking, giving a bomb to a baby? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2021, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8668 "2021-08-19T20:49:35Z")
``` I don't know it. They didn't say anything about a punchline. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8669 "2021-08-22T02:59:50Z")
“Plug my organ in!” “Ha - _that’s_ a joke.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8670 "2021-08-22T14:40:44Z")
Look, Mr. Wentworth said to come in here and say there was trouble at the mill. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2021, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/8671 "2021-08-22T16:38:23Z")
Now, old woman – you are accused of heresy on three counts – heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action – _four_ counts. Do you confess? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=432) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=434)