# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 458
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9152 "2022-04-15T13:31:01Z")
Good morning, I am a bank robber. Er, please don’t panic, just hand over all your money. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9153 "2022-04-15T15:14:43Z")
You’re fucking _nicked_, me old beauty! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9154 "2022-04-15T16:39:55Z")
It’s a fair cop. ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2022, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9155 "2022-04-15T18:52:14Z")
Four hours to bury a cat? ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2022, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9156 "2022-04-16T12:16:22Z")
Oochy coochy. Look at him laughing… ooh, he’s a chirpy little fellow. Isn’t he a chirpy little fellow, eh? eh? Does he talk? Does he talk, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2022, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9157 "2022-04-16T14:18:17Z")
You see that? That’s where I was born. You know, one day, when I was a little boy, my mother she took me on her knee and she said: ‘Gaston, my son. The world is a beautiful place. You must go into it, and love everyone, not hate people. You must try and make everyone happy, and bring peace and contentment everywhere you go.’ And so… I became a waiter… ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2022, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9158 "2022-04-17T13:44:42Z")
Here to play Tchaikovsky’s first piano concerto in B Flat Minor is the world-famous soloist Sviatoslav Richter. During the performance he will escape from a sack, three padlocks and a pair of handcuffs. ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2022, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9159 "2022-04-18T13:49:54Z")
Flemish merchants did not wear hand-embroidered chevrons. They did not! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2022, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9160 "2022-04-18T16:37:32Z")
This bloke won’t haggle. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2022, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9161 "2022-04-18T16:43:46Z")
‘Jeez, Mr. Belpit, your legs is all swollen…’ ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2022, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9162 "2022-04-19T14:59:43Z")
May I recommend the alligator puree. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2022, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9163 "2022-04-19T15:46:26Z")
Here comes that wacky Queen again! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2022, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9164 "2022-04-19T16:54:48Z")
Right, Audrey. When did you first start thinking you were a cow? ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2022, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9165 "2022-04-20T11:54:23Z")
We found the tiger skin in a bicycle shop in Cairo. The owner wanted it taken down to Dar Es Salaam– ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2022, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9166 "2022-04-20T16:16:28Z")
He’s buggered off! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2022, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9167 "2022-04-20T21:47:54Z")
My! BICYCLE REPAIR MAN! Thank goodness you’ve come! ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2022, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9168 "2022-04-21T13:01:35Z")
Amplify the ‘ping’ machine. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2022, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9169 "2022-04-21T15:58:55Z")
So he has - he’s scarpered! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2022, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9170 "2022-04-21T21:31:55Z")
BICYCLE REPAIR MAN! But how? ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2022, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/9171 "2022-04-22T13:56:10Z")
Not so fast, Akarumba! Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Baboon of Scotland Yard’s Special Fraud Film Director Squad, Jungle Division. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=457) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=459)