# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 79
### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1561 "2012-09-19T01:22:18Z")
Constable Clitoris and I are from the hygiene squad.
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### Author:  [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1562 "2012-09-19T01:26:18Z")
Shut up! Shut up you American. You always talk, you Americans, you talk and you talk and say ‘Let me tell you something’ and ‘I just wanna say this’. Well you’re dead now, so shut up.
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### Author:  [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1563 "2012-09-19T01:42:51Z")
Be quiet! You Englishmen… You’re all so fucking pompous and none of you have got any balls!
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1564 "2012-09-19T02:13:47Z")
And this isn’t my nose; it’s a false one.
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### Author:  [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1565 "2012-09-19T02:42:59Z")
Did you dress her up like this?
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1566 "2012-09-19T03:03:11Z")
Do you want to come upstairs…?
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### Author:  [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1567 "2012-09-19T03:04:23Z")
Yeah, alright.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1568 "2012-09-19T13:19:29Z")
Basement: Dangerous gases, viruses, contagious diseases, restaurant and toilet fixings.
Ground floor: Menswear, boyswear, effeminate goods hall, ill health foods.
Mezzanine: Tableware, kitchen goods, soft furnishings, hard furnishings, rock-hard furnishings.
First floor: Complaints.
Second floor: Cosmetics, jewellery, electrical, satire.
Third floor: Nasal injuries hall, other things.
Fourth floor: Granite hall - rocks, shales, alluvial deposits, Felspar, Carpathians, Andes, Urals, mining requisites, atom-splitting service.
Fifth floor: Complaints.
Sixth floor: Complaints.
Seventh floor: Leather goods.
Eighth floor: Roof garden.
Ninth floor: Television aerials.
Tenth floor: Fresh air, clouds, occasional periods of sunshine.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1569 "2012-09-19T15:03:21Z")
I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear papa.
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### Author:  [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1570 "2012-09-19T17:43:21Z")
Shot off?!? _Completely_!??!
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1571 "2012-09-19T21:40:26Z")
Very small rocks!
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1572 "2012-09-20T01:49:51Z")
sit on my face and tell me that you love me,
I’ll sit on your face and tell you I love youuuu
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### Author:  [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1573 "2012-09-20T02:19:06Z")
Congratulations on buying the executive version of this record. You have chosen wisely and we value your discerning taste in deciding to pay the few extra pence for a product of real quality. Everything on this record has been designed to meet the exacting standards, which you have naturally come to expect. The record itself is made from the very finest Colombian extruded polyvinyl. The centerhole has been created to fit exactly onto your spindle with all the precision of the finest Swiss craftmanship. The audio content has been quality graded to give you the finest in listening pleasure. There is little or no offending material apart from four cunts, one clitoris, and a foreskin. And as they only occur in this opening introduction, you’re past them now! You can relax and enjoy this quality product, secure in the knowledge that it has been specially created for the lover of fine things and man of good taste.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1574 "2012-09-20T02:37:00Z")
Yes, yes, as a matter of fact you can, actually I was interested in the possibility… of purchasing one of your … can I ask who you thought I was?
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### Author:  [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1575 "2012-09-20T03:31:08Z")
The Reverend Ronald Simms, the Dirty Vicar of St Michael’s.
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1576 "2012-09-20T03:34:11Z")
\*It’s fun to charter an accountant,
and sail the wide accountantcy!"\*
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1577 "2012-09-20T04:33:03Z")
Hello, I’d like to have an argument.
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### Author:  [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1578 "2012-09-20T04:36:38Z")
Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, maloderous pervert!!!
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1579 "2012-09-20T04:37:49Z")
What is your name? What is your quest? What is the capital of Assyria?
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### Author:  [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2012, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1580 "2012-09-20T04:44:14Z")
You’re not so bad yourself, conk-face. Where you two from, Nose City?
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