# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 96
### Author:  [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1901 "2012-11-12T01:59:39Z")
And you’ve got her legs up against the mantlepiece…
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2012, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1902 "2012-11-12T02:47:27Z")
> [@DSYoungEsq](#):
>
> And you’ve got her legs up against the mantlepiece…
Out!
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2012, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1903 "2012-11-12T02:48:53Z")
I’m taking this lot in in the name of Her Gracious Majesty Queen Elizabeth.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1904 "2012-11-12T14:30:10Z")
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2012, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1905 "2012-11-12T14:50:15Z")
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable. Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table.David Hume could out-consumeWilhelm Freidrich Hegel,And Wittgenstein was a beery swineWho was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1906 "2012-11-12T14:58:00Z")
There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya ‘bout the raisin’ of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed
And John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on a half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away - half a pint of whiskey, every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: “I drink, therefore I am!”
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed…
a lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed.
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### Author:  [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2012, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1907 "2012-11-13T00:06:56Z")
Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1908 "2012-11-13T03:25:27Z")
[singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1909 "2012-11-13T17:07:55Z")
Theatrical managers in this area have not been slow to appreciate the sea’s tremendous dramatic value. And somewhere, out in this bay, is the first underwater production of _Measure for Measure_.
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1910 "2012-11-13T18:10:42Z")
Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis.
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong.
It’s swell to have a stiffy,It’s divine to own a dick.
From the tiniest little tadger,To the world’s biggest prick.
So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake.
Your piece-of-pork,Your wife’s best friend,Your Percy or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons,You can slip it in your sock.
But don’t take it out in public Or they will stick you in the dock,And you won’t come back.
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1911 "2012-11-13T19:23:52Z")
Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y’know, it seemed a bit daft, me havin’ to guard him when he’s a guard.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1912 "2012-11-13T22:02:05Z")
I blow my nose at you, so-called “Arthur King,” you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.
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### Author:  [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1913 "2012-11-13T22:12:52Z")
The fat one balances the two skinny ones.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1914 "2012-11-14T03:25:11Z")
Better get a bucket. I’m gonna throw up.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1915 "2012-11-14T04:05:37Z")
I’d like to welcome the pommy bastard to God’s own earth, and I’d like to remind him that we don’t like stuck-up sticky-beaks here.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1916 "2012-11-14T11:07:52Z")
Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Chief Constable There’samanbehindyou.
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1917 "2012-11-14T16:47:41Z")
Beethoven’s gone, but his music lives on,
And Mozart don’t go shopping no more.
You’ll never meet Liszt or Brahms again,
And Elgar doesn’t answer the door.
Schubert and Chopin used to chuckle and laugh,
Whilst composing a long symphony,
But one hundred and fifty years later,
There’s very little of them left to see.
They’re decomposing composers.
There’s nothing much anyone can do.
You can still hear Beethoven,
But Beethoven cannot hear you.
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### Author:  [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1918 "2012-11-14T20:19:28Z")
Of course I can talk, I’m the Minister for Overseas Development.
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### Author:  [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1919 "2012-11-14T21:20:16Z")
Your Majesty is like a stream of bat’s piss.
Regards,
Shodan
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1920 "2012-11-14T21:49:16Z")
I must warn you, sir, that outside I have police dog Josephine, who is not only armed and trained to sniff out certain substances but is also a junkie.
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