# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 97
### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [November 15, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1921 "2012-11-15T14:39:19Z")
I told him we already had one. Heeheehee.
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [November 15, 2012, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1922 "2012-11-15T23:44:41Z")
Well can I have that without the spam?
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1923 "2012-11-16T00:03:43Z")
Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1924 "2012-11-16T00:13:42Z")
Their father Arthur Piranha, a scrap metal dealer and TV quizmaster, was well known to the police, and a devout Catholic. In 1928 he had married Kitty Malone, an up-and-coming East End boxer. Doug was born in February 1929 and Dinsdale two weeks later, and again a week after that.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1925 "2012-11-16T00:16:53Z")
Because… every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1926 "2012-11-16T00:53:17Z")
Stuck in a rut.
Stuck in a rut.
Stuck in a rut.
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1927 "2012-11-16T04:04:57Z")
_**[singing]**_
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1928 "2012-11-17T03:54:19Z")
“I remember Doug was very keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He was very interested in that. His mother had a terrible job getting him to come in for tea. Putting his little boot in he’d be, bless him. All the kids were like that then, they didn’t have their heads stuffed with all this Cartesian dualism.”
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1929 "2012-11-17T14:31:12Z")
Right, carry on sergent major!
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1930 "2012-11-17T17:04:45Z")
Here’s a joke I heard down in the pub: what’s brown, and sounds like a bell? Dung!
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1931 "2012-11-17T17:12:18Z")
I’m terribly sorry but I was sitting on a park bench over there, took my coat off for a minute and then I found my wallet had been stolen and £15 taken from it.
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1932 "2012-11-17T17:31:19Z")
What ridden on a horse ?
Yes
You’re using coconuts
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1933 "2012-11-17T17:31:25Z")
I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra/I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear papa.
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1934 "2012-11-17T17:38:54Z")
We want a shrubbery !
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1935 "2012-11-17T17:45:52Z")
Oh, well. There goes the neighbourhood!
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1936 "2012-11-17T18:15:37Z")
What about Dick?
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1937 "2012-11-17T18:33:57Z")
Number five. The naughty bits.
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1938 "2012-11-17T19:49:04Z")
> [@echo7tango](#):
>
> I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra/I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear papa.
[weeping]and I thought you were so ruged.[/weepiing]
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### Author:  [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1939 "2012-11-17T19:53:19Z")
And what are you doing this morning?
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [November 18, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/1940 "2012-11-18T01:17:59Z")
At the age of fifteen Doug and Dinsdale started attending the Ernest Pythagoras Primary School in Clerkenwell. When the Piranhas left school they were called up, but were found by an Army board to be too unstable even for National Service.
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