# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 23, 2022, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460 "2022-11-23T21:55:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 228
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4541 "2025-06-29T19:16:56Z")
- Dear Sir, I object very strongly to that last scene, and to the next letter. - Dear Sir, I object to being objected to by the last letter, before my drift has become apparent. I spent many years in India during the last war and am now a part-time notice board in a prominent public school. Yours etc., Brigadier Zoe La Rue (deceased). PS Aghhh! ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4542 "2025-06-30T11:28:26Z")
Hello, is that the fire brigade? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4543 "2025-06-30T12:33:38Z")
No one ever expects the Spanish Inquistion! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4544 "2025-06-30T17:17:42Z")
Why do you think I rang the bell? Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Zero! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4545 "2025-06-30T20:16:46Z")
And the Lord spake, saying, ["](https://genius.com/33836272/Monty-python-holy-hand-grenade-of-antioch/)[First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."](https://genius.com/33836173/Monty-python-holy-hand-grenade-of-antioch/First-shalt-thou-take-out-the-holy-pin-then-shalt-thou-count-to-three-no-more-no-less-three-shalt-be-the-number-thou-shalt-count-and-the-number-of-the-counting-shalt-be-three-four-shalt-thou-not-count-nor-either-count-thou-two-excepting-that-thou-then-proceed-to-three-five-is-right-out-once-the-number-three-being-the-third-number-be-reached-then-lobbest-thou-thy-holy-hand-grenade-of-antioch-towards-thy-foe-who-being-naughty-in-my-sight-shall-snuff-it) ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4546 "2025-06-30T20:32:27Z")
One, two, five! Three, sir! Three! ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2025, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4547 "2025-07-01T11:30:05Z")
He’s German! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2025, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4548 "2025-07-01T15:28:55Z")
I met my second wife at a second-wife-swapping party. Trust me to arrive late. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2025, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4549 "2025-07-01T16:31:44Z")
- You don’t fight any more? - Yes! Redfoot make war! When Chief Yellow Snake was leader, and Mighty Eagle was in land of forefather, we fight Pawnee at Oxbow Crossing. When Pawnee steal our rehearsal copies of ‘Reluctant Debutante’ we kill fifty Pawnee - houses heap full every night. Heap good publicity. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2025, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4550 "2025-07-02T04:26:59Z")
There will now be a whopping great intermission, during which small ice creams in very large boxes will be sold. Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements. ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2025, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4551 "2025-07-02T09:06:57Z")
O.K. Blackitt, Sturridge and Walters you take the buggers on the left flank. Hordern, Spadger and I will go for the gunpost. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2025, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4552 "2025-07-02T12:30:17Z")
Albatross! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2025, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4553 "2025-07-02T14:04:47Z")
Ni! Ni! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2025, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4554 "2025-07-02T16:19:51Z")
Ahhhhh! Don’t say that word! ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2025, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4555 "2025-07-03T12:05:20Z")
Well… I’m… er… learning the piano… ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2025, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4556 "2025-07-03T15:24:47Z")
Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily… ni! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2025, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4557 "2025-07-04T01:25:43Z")
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam… ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2025, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4558 "2025-07-04T04:33:47Z")
Look! There’s the Old Man from Scene 24! ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2025, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4559 "2025-07-04T08:21:49Z")
Can you imagine what it’s like cutting the same head for five years? I didn’t want to be a barber anyway. I wanted to be a lumberjack. Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia… The giant redwood, the larch, the fir, the mighty Scots pine. ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2025, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/4560 "2025-07-04T13:40:13Z")
Shirley who used to be the hairdresser? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460.md?page=227) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460.md?page=229)