# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 23, 2022, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460 "2022-11-23T21:55:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 293
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2026, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5841 "2026-05-01T21:29:19Z")
You try that around here, young man, and we’ll slit your face. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2026, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5842 "2026-05-01T22:48:12Z")
You whining, hypocritical toadies, with your color TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding Masonic secret handshakes! You wouldn’t let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards! Well, I wouldn’t become a freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking knees and begged me! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5843 "2026-05-02T01:42:47Z")
Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready! Ready to smash the communists, wipe them up, and shove them off the face of the earth… Mash that dirty red scum, kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts. Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy bastard commies, I hate 'em! I hate 'em! Aaargh! Aaargh! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5844 "2026-05-02T01:52:05Z")
Bicycle Repair Man! But… how? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5845 "2026-05-02T03:34:10Z")
I am a poor man. My sight is poor. My legs are old and bent, and… ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5846 "2026-05-02T11:57:52Z")
This is a frightened city. Over these houses, over these streets hangs a pall of fear. Fear of a new kind of violence which is terrorizing the city. Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking defenseless fit young men. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5847 "2026-05-02T12:03:26Z")
The llama is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming. ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5848 "2026-05-02T12:23:00Z")
But why couldn’t you fight a penguin? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5849 "2026-05-02T15:28:32Z")
When I, when I came to this war, I had two arms, two good arms, but when the time came to… to lose one, I .. I gave it gladly, I smiled as they cut if off, because I knew there was a future for mankind. I … I knew there was hope… so long as men were prepared to give their limbs. And when the time came for me to give my other arm I… I gave it gladly. I… I sang as they sawed it off. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5850 "2026-05-02T15:38:59Z")
It’s only a flesh wound. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5851 "2026-05-02T16:37:48Z")
And now in the first leg, which ended on Wednesday, Don succeeded in finding the Paraguayan in the new world record time of 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27.4 seconds, in a sweetshop in Kilmarnock. ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5852 "2026-05-02T16:57:59Z")
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how very nice. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Leslie Ames, the Chairman of the Test Selection Committee, and I’m very pleased to be able to tell you that your flat has been chosen as the venue for the third test against the West Indies. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2026, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5853 "2026-05-02T22:43:23Z")
I’d like to complain about people who hold things up by complaining about people complaining. It’s about time something was done about it. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2026, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5854 "2026-05-03T03:42:17Z")
REG: “There is not one of us here who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.” COMMANDO: “Uhh. Well, one.” REG: “Oh, yeah. Yeah, there’s one, but otherwise, we’re _solid_.” ---
**Author:** ![kwintenstraler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kwintenstraler/32/10698_2.png) [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2026, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5855 "2026-05-03T11:55:09Z")
Your suit is fair and goodly cut. Was’t from Antwerp? ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2026, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5856 "2026-05-03T12:04:18Z")
**Brothers! Brothers! We should be struggling _together_!** _We are!_ **We mustn’t fight each other! Surely we should be united against the common enemy!** _The Judean People’s Front?!_ **No, no! The Romans!** * * * [Yes, Discourse, in my early morning fog I accidentally put this into the 4 Words thread by mistake. No reason to deny me a 2nd chance, especially since I fixed it in the other thread, sheesh] ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2026, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5857 "2026-05-03T15:42:26Z")
Telegram for you love! ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2026, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5858 "2026-05-03T15:58:17Z")
Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2026, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5859 "2026-05-03T16:49:59Z")
… and several butcher’s aprons. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2026, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460/5860 "2026-05-03T18:55:22Z")
The… Larch. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460.md?page=292) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-2/975460.md?page=294)