# Moral Question: Phelps or Gold?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [September 17, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578 "2011-09-17T00:47:25Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/41 "2011-09-17T17:59:04Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#):
>
> Suppose you were on a sinking boat and you and several others managed to escape in a lifeboat. As you sail out you spot two things: a chest full of gold and Fred Phelps (of Westboro fame) begging for help? There is spot on your boat for only one of those things so which do you choose?
>
> I delibrately chose Fred Phelps because he while saying despicable things hasn’t actually murdered or raped or whatnot so you cannot claim you’d pick the gold to protect yourself.
>
> I would choose Phelps because despite everything he is still a human being and thus one of the God’s children.
I save Phelps because taking a chest of gold onto a lifeboat is stupid. As soon as he’s in the boat, I tell him it was because he has such a purty mouth.
---
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/42 "2011-09-17T18:07:35Z")
> [@voltaire](#):
>
> Cite?
Qin is making a philosophical statement, not a factual one. And I’ll agree with him that saving Phelps is mandatory in my ethical system, though being nice to him is not.
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### Author:  [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/43 "2011-09-17T18:09:50Z")
Fred says my wife is burning in Hell. Let him go there and find out.
Can I weight him down with the gold? If not, I’ll split it with the lifeboat passengers.
Skald: I really like your response! It makes me wish the lifeboat was full of the Gay Men’s Choir…
---
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/44 "2011-09-17T18:14:14Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#):
>
> Where is the option to use the gold to weigh Phelps down?
Please leave the evil to the professionals, sir.
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### Author:  [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/45 "2011-09-17T18:16:20Z")
I’d take the gold. Can you imagine being trapped on a lifeboat with that guy for days? Ugh.
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### Author:  [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/46 "2011-09-17T18:22:34Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> Please leave the evil to the professionals, sir.
I will take that to mean “Madam” as well. Dang… :S
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### Author:  [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/47 "2011-09-17T19:13:27Z")
I’d rescue Phelps, because I couldn’t have that on my conscience. It really wouldn’t be about him at all.
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### Author:  [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/48 "2011-09-17T19:28:42Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> Qin is making a philosophical statement, not a factual one. And I’ll agree with him that saving Phelps is mandatory in my ethical system, though being nice to him is not.
I wouldn’t expect a Rhymer to be whooshed by simple sarcasm!
---
### Author:  [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/49 "2011-09-17T20:47:30Z")
First I’d throw Qin overboard for bothering me with childish philosophical questions when we’re trying to save ourselves from a sinking boat. 😃
Then I’d grab the gold.
Then I’d grab Phred.
Then I’d kill him.
---
### Author:  [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/50 "2011-09-17T21:13:51Z")
I’m surprised at how many people think the world is better with Phelps in it. I wouldn’t go as far as murder him myself, but i would pick a chest full of nothing over saving him.
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### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/51 "2011-09-17T21:14:28Z")
I’d go for the gold in a heartbeat; the gold would benefit me and my heirs. Phelps wouldn’t benefit me at all. Besides, it would be fun to watch the SOB calling for God’s help and drowning when he didn’t get it.
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### Author:  [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/52 "2011-09-17T21:24:19Z")
> [@Frodo](#):
>
> I’ll rescue Phelps, and then milk the resulting publicity for all its worth, may be I’ll even get more money that way, anyway I woldnt rescue him to help him, I would rescue him because if I didnt I would feel guilty.
Oh, yeah, from a selfish point of view, saving Fred Phelps’s life might make you more money than the gold.
---
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/53 "2011-09-17T22:32:30Z")
> [@Icarus](#):
>
> First I’d throw Qin overboard for bothering me with childish philosophical questions when we’re trying to save ourselves from a sinking boat. 😃
>
> Then I’d grab the gold.
>
> Then I’d grab Phred.
>
> Then I’d kill him.
What has Phelps done that is worthy of summary execution?
---
### Author:  [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/54 "2011-09-17T22:42:56Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> What has Phelps done that is worthy of summary execution?
Honestly, if anyone could ever be rude enough, it would be he.
I would try very hard to save him, primarily because I know I am not strong enough.
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### Author:  [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/55 "2011-09-17T23:33:06Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> What has Phelps done that is worthy of summary execution?
From my point of view nothing the mans done more for the gay rights movement then anyone could have hoped for. If anyone should want him dead it should be those that agree with him.
I’d probably save him. Then he can live the rest of his life protesting my existence knowing I saved his life.
---
### Author:  [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2011, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/56 "2011-09-17T23:39:27Z")
I would be suspicious of a chest of gold floating in the middle of the ocean. How does something that heavy float? So I’ll give the alleged gold a pass and save Phelps. When we run out of food on the lifeboat, he’ll be the first we cannibalize.
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### Author:  [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/57 "2011-09-18T00:14:12Z")
I would whatever I could to keep Phelps out of the lifeboat even if
there was plenty of room for him, and no gold.
I am suprised no one has not shot that ugly, no-good, rotten bastard,
and anyone ever does shoot him, and I get to be on the jury, then I
will vote to acquit.
---
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2011, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/58 "2011-09-18T00:15:56Z")
> [@colonial](#):
>
> I would whatever I could to keep Phelps out of the lifeboat even if
> there was plenty of room for him, and no gold.
>
> I am suprised no one has not shot that ugly, no-good, rotten bastard,
> and anyone ever does shoot him, and I get to be on the jury, then I
> will vote to acquit.
If we shoot everyone whom someone thinks an asshole, then soon we’ll all be dead.
---
### Author:  [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/59 "2011-09-18T00:19:24Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> If we shoot everyone whom someone thinks an asshole, then soon we’ll all be dead.
If we shoot everyone who intrudes on grieving people at the funerals
of their loved ones then the world will be a better place.
---
### Author:  [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moral-question-phelps-or-gold/596578/60 "2011-09-18T00:20:46Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> If we shoot everyone whom someone thinks an asshole, then soon we’ll all be dead.
Oh, and I guess hitting him over the head with an oar wouldn’t
please you either.
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