# More Adventures in SDMB Haiku
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 26, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927 "2001-09-26T15:29:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/1 "2001-09-26T15:29:06Z")
Jack Batty Wears Capes
But They Don’t Enable Flight
His Soul Stays Grounded
Ask Me Something Now
Your Question Feeds My Ego
And Pads My Post Count
Cranky’s Name Fits Not
And So Her Haiku Suffers
Sometimes Less Is More
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/2 "2001-09-26T15:38:50Z")
I’m the Haiku God.
Master of any subject,
Innuendo King.
---
### Author:  [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/3 "2001-09-26T15:43:07Z")
I do not post, but
Stand in the shadows and lurk.
My count remains low.
---
### Author:  [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/4 "2001-09-26T15:52:44Z")
Have nothing to say
Nothing here, please move along.
Not interesting.
And, yet, Lo! I say
I have spoken of nothing.
Talk much; say little.
Much talking without
meaning. Do I sound like a
bad politician?
---
### Author:  [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/5 "2001-09-26T16:05:11Z")
This post has nothing.
An empty try at humour.
Hit and run posting.
---
### Author:  [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/6 "2001-09-26T16:07:07Z")
My ego is fed
I’m mentioned in the OP
Attention whore lives.
I like the Haiku
It makes me seem a poet
Because I can count.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/7 "2001-09-26T16:07:09Z")
Gartog’s Post Count Climbs
With each observation He
Soars Ever Higher
---
### Author:  [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/8 "2001-09-26T16:19:55Z")
I can’t stand haikus
With their careful syllables
I’ll never write one
---
### Author:  [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/9 "2001-09-26T16:25:34Z")
I should be working
Fighting ignorance shows not
On my objectives
Creationist post:
I try to resist the urge,
But respond (once more)
Conspiracy troll
You have to be fucking nuts
See you in the pit
---
### Author:  [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/10 "2001-09-27T16:10:38Z")
This thread is too short.
Thus I will elevate it
with this bump, ‘bump’.
---
### Author:  [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/11 "2001-09-27T16:17:39Z")
Alas it seems that
In my last Haiku
I was one ‘bump’ short.
The time passes like
thick black oil ozzing through the
egg timer of life.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/12 "2001-09-27T16:23:07Z")
Some threads soar like birds
Others are quietly sunk
I weep for them all
---
### Author:  [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/13 "2001-09-27T16:41:22Z")
There once was a man
From Nantucket - oops, I’m sorry
That’s not a Haiku.
What does a Scotsman
Wear under his kilt? His shoes.
What did you expect?
---
### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/14 "2001-09-27T16:50:08Z")
Some long names do fit
like Cranky as an Old Man
if you work at it.
---
### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/15 "2001-09-27T16:54:46Z")
Ethilrist brings pain
Mockery, Condescension
I fail at haiku
---
### Author:  [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/16 "2001-09-27T17:04:39Z")
Get me my Miller
Or yet Spiritus Mundi
Haiku Gods they are
* * *
Oh licker of clits
forget not the labia
or that sweet brown star
(sorry, I’ve just always wanted to write a haiku about something like that.
---
### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/17 "2001-09-27T17:07:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus \*
> \*\*I’m the Haiku God.
> Master of any subject,
> Innuendo King. \*\*
You’re the Haiku God?
Well, I’m the [Haiku Master](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=21160).
None can defeat me.
Pick any topic:
I’ll make a haiku from it.
Check [this link](http://fff.fathom.org/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000039-2.html) for proof.
The challenge, renewed:
Post your requested topic —
I’ll haiku-ize it.
---
### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/18 "2001-09-27T17:12:34Z")
I’m a lumberjack
I’m okay. I eat my lunch
and I work all day.
Oh, Jarbabyj,
I did not mean to hurt you
would candy corn help?
---
### Author:  [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/19 "2001-09-27T17:13:36Z")
Aw, jarbabyj
You are still deeply admired
By this little owl.
Few can match your wit
And pit vocabulary:
I laugh. I guffaw.
Haikus - difficult
Ethilrist mocks you not
No condescension.
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-adventures-in-sdmb-haiku/83927/20 "2001-09-27T17:14:22Z")
You have not yet seen
Sexual Garlic Haiku
Until you’ve seen mine
My Challenge is this:
Write a haiku of garlic
and make it sexy.
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