# More bad news **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2000, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394 "2000-06-24T08:27:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/61 "2000-06-25T06:34:33Z")
My deepest sympathy for the loss of your little one. You have my e-mail address, please use it if you would like to talk. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/62 "2000-06-25T07:31:19Z")
Tracy, I’m sorry I didn’t get to this thread sooner. I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I wish there was something more I could say. I’ll echo the setiment that if you need to talk, please feel free to e-mail me. {{{{{{{{{{tatertot}}}}}}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/63 "2000-06-25T11:43:30Z")
Today is a little better, I’m still kind of dazed, but physically, I’m just about healed. The doctor put me on two weeks of _vaginal rest_. Yup, they said it just like that. Talk about wanting to laugh your ass off. Be assured everyone, that my vagina is resting comfortably; I left it in bed this morning with a hot water bag and a mug of cocoa. I had a good talk with Hubby last night, he’s still not as open about it as I am, but I think that is just his personality. He went to a barbeque today, I was going to go but it was all “manly” men, and I can’t stand sitting there acting like nothing has happened. Me, I’m a talk things to death kind of gal. It seems to be good for him to just be with his friends, so I sent him off with the boy, and I’m going to have coffee with a friend later this afternoon. Sorry for getting your name wrong, Cynical1. If ever there was a time for me to be excused for bubble headedness, now is the time. I really do appreciate your advice. It’s kind of weird how some people just won’t acknowledge what has happened. I know it’s akward for them, not knowing what to say and all, but it just feels so odd. I get this feeling like they’d rather not see me for a couple of months so that they don’t have say anthing. Last night I had this crazy idea that maybe we should teach kids about these kind of things in school. I, for one, had no idea that a miscarriage could take so long to diagnose & resolve. And when you’re pregnant, you just sort of gloss over those parts of the pregnancy books because it sort of feels like a jinx to know too much. I am so sorry that so many of us have had to go through this, and I can’t help but think it would be easier all around if we knew all the facts well in advance of concieving. I don’t know…just an idea. Thank you again for all your well wishes. I’m hoping we have a happier week next week. BTW, those of you who said that Wally was over there looking after my little one, thanks it gave me a smile. Can you imagine the great threads we’ll have to wait to see? Wally changes a poopy diaper. Wally and the projectile vomiting. Wally and _potty training_! ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/64 "2000-06-25T16:11:17Z")
Tatertot, I posted about my daughter Jamie on this site [http://www.aplacetoremember.com/](http://www.aplacetoremember.com/) , she was stillborn. The Sharing section is really good. It helped me to be able to post her story there. It got alot of old pain and guilt out. Look under the B’s if you want to read it, Her name was Jamie Michelle B. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out which one is her. ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/65 "2000-06-25T17:01:40Z")
So sorry to hear those bad news, tater. Darn, I have no idea what to say except that I’m so very, very sorry for you & Mr. tater. Stay strong. Giant hugs S. Norman ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/66 "2000-06-26T06:06:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Last night I had this crazy idea that maybe we should teach kids about these kind of things in school. I, for one, had no idea that a miscarriage could take so long to diagnose & resolve. And when you’re pregnant, you just sort of gloss over those parts of the pregnancy books because it sort of feels like a jinx to know too much. I am so sorry that so many of us have had to go through this, and I can’t help but think it would be easier all around if we knew all the facts well in advance of concieving. I don’t know…just an idea. > \*\* As I have mentioned before, my husband and I are trying to conceive and when I first read this thread, the same thing occurred to me. I have been reading _What to Expect when You’re Expecting_ (what can I say? I’m a planner) and I have been paying special attention to the parts about miscarriage and fetal abnormalities. I think it is true that most people try to avoid the unpleasantness even though it is very important to know. I think your idea is a good one. You never know, maybe educating young people about the _other_ possible hazards of having a baby before they are emotionally ready will have an effect on the teen pregnancy rates. I hope you (physically) feel better soon and make sure and get all the “vaginal rest” you can get! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/67 "2000-06-26T10:42:02Z")
Tracy, I’m so sorry about your loss. Yeah, they can tell you all the rational stuff at the hospital (“the baby was still very young, there’s nothing you or we could have done”), but that doesn’t change the feeling. Although I can’t fully imagine such a feeling myself (I’m not a father), I can only wish you and your husband all the best in these hard times. Be glad for one thing: your son is probably too young to fully realise what’s going on. Take care, dear. Jasper ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/68 "2000-06-26T11:10:44Z")
Tracy, I’m sorry for your troubles. Please know that you are in my thoughts, and that I hope you and your husband have the strenght to get through these trying times. J ---
**Author:** ![GolfWidow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GolfWidow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GolfWidow)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/69 "2000-06-26T13:01:11Z")
Tracy & family, I’m so sorry about your loss. Paula ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/70 "2000-06-26T13:34:32Z")
Tater– My love and condolances to you and your husband. Give him a big hug for me. For all of us. Thinking about you, stuuter ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/71 "2000-06-26T13:38:41Z")
Ugh. OK, I am getting serious here. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO HAVE ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO THEM FROM NOW ON. I can’t take it. Tracy, I am so sorry. I can only begin to imagine what you’re going through. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/72 "2000-06-26T13:49:42Z")
Tatertot, so sorry to hear about your loss - and the same for your husband, who is surely grieving on the inside as well. Hugs to both of you. Kim ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/73 "2000-06-26T14:07:30Z")
Tater, I’m so very, very sorry for your loss. Sending my best wishes and prayers your way… ---
**Author:** ![Heloise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e36b37/32.png) [@Heloise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heloise)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/74 "2000-06-26T14:23:00Z")
Little Footprints How very softly you tiptoed into my world Almost silently, Only a moment you stayed But what an imprint your little footprints have left upon my heart. I don’t know if you are familiar with this site, but when you are ready, it may help. I must add my condolences with the others. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through, but I wish you peace and comfort. [http://home.att.net/~scojack/miscarriagesupportpage.htm](http://home.att.net/~scojack/miscarriagesupportpage.htm) BTW, that site is where I found the poem. Author not identified. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/75 "2000-06-26T16:38:15Z")
I’m very sorry to hear about your loss, tatertot. We’re all thinking of you, as you can see. ---
**Author:** ![cygnus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@cygnus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cygnus)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394/76 "2000-06-26T17:15:59Z")
Tater, all of the women in my family have experienced miscarriages. It is a child lost, and the grief is no less than that from the death of a child born alive. My sympathy and good wishes go out to you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-bad-news/23394.md?page=3)