# More elephant jokes? Well, if you insist... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685 "2003-07-15T16:22:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/1 "2003-07-15T16:22:20Z")
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a Boy Scout? An elephant that helps old ladies across the street. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/2 "2003-07-15T16:34:08Z")
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a mouse? Elephant Mouse Sine Theta. ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/3 "2003-07-15T17:10:24Z")
How do you trap an elephant? Dig a hole Fill the hole with ashes Circle the hole with peas . . . . . . . . … . …then… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . When the elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole! yes, I actually demonstrated this in grade school. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/4 "2003-07-15T17:43:03Z")
Why can’t an elephant ride a bicycle? ## He doesn’t have a thumb to ring the bell. What does an elephant use for a vibrator? An epileptic pigmy. ---
**Author:** ![malaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@malaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malaka)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/5 "2003-07-15T17:49:49Z")
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino? Eliphino ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/6 "2003-07-15T17:53:22Z")
Why do ducks have flat feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out flaming ducks. ---
**Author:** ![grettle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@grettle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grettle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/7 "2003-07-15T18:02:08Z")
What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? ----Hark, there are elephants coming over the hill! What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses? ----Nothing. He didn’t recognize them. i know it’s bad, but really funny at the same time ---
**Author:** ![xvxdarkknightxvx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/34f0e0/32.png) [@xvxdarkknightxvx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xvxdarkknightxvx)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/8 "2003-07-15T18:19:14Z")
## Why do elephants paint their toenails red? . . . . . . . . . So they can hide in cherry trees without being seen. Why did Tarzan die? . . . . . . . . . He was picking cherries. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sylphishone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@sylphishone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylphishone)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/9 "2003-07-15T22:44:16Z")
AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE! Okay there is this mouse an this elephant walking through the woods. They are going along fine and suddenly the mouse falls in a hole. The elephant walks over to the edge and says “Don’t worry I will get you out.” He whips out his dick, throws it down the hole and the mouse climbs out. Happily, the mouse and the elephant proceed on their little trek. They go on for about a mile when suddenly the elephant falls down in the gigantic huge hole! The mouse runs over to the edge and says “Don’t worry, I will get you out!” The mouse then runs back to the edge of the woods jumps in his Porsche drives up to the edge of the whole rigs the wench, throws a rope down in the hole and pulls the elephant out. Moral to that story: If you have a Porsche you don’t need a big dick. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/10 "2003-07-15T23:37:48Z")
What’s the difference between an elephant and a plum? Plums are purple. What did Jane say when she saw the herd of elephants coming over the hill? “Oooh, look at all those plums!” (She was colorblind.) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/11 "2003-07-16T01:31:20Z")
Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and smooth, they’d be aspirin. * * * Similar to one above: Why do elephants paint their balls red? To hide in cherry trees. What’s the loudest sound in the jungle? Giraffes eating cherries. * * * What’s grey and comes in quarts? An elephant. * * * What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinocerous? Elefino. * * * Why do elephants paint their toenails red, yellow, green, orange, black, and purple? To hide in the jellybean jar. Ever seen an elephant in the jellybean jar? Works, doesn’t it! ---
**Author:** ![CuriousCanuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@CuriousCanuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriousCanuck)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/12 "2003-07-16T01:36:16Z")
What’s a good name for an elephant? Henry. Go ahead. Ask him. Henry’s a good elephant. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/13 "2003-07-16T01:58:45Z")
Why are Volkswagon beetles illegal in Africa? Cuz elephants will screw anything with a trunk in front! ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/14 "2003-07-16T23:40:32Z")
> [@](#): > > drives up to the edge of the whole rigs the wench, he he he , he said wench ---
**Author:** ![sylphishone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@sylphishone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylphishone)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-elephant-jokes-well-if-you-insist/188685/15 "2003-07-17T00:13:04Z")
Opps I ment winch. I am such a girl!