I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: WORST. BAND NAME. EVER.
I think it’s a she, not a them.
I will categorize the music for your convenience:
“modern rock” (aka alternative/college rock/new rock). These groups have some pretty good songs. Probably will be as memorable in a few years as Better than Ezra and the Gin Blossoms:
-Hoobastank
-Maroon5
-Switchfoot
Assortment of rap hip hop:
-Usher - A big hit with the ladies
-JoJo
-Nina Sky featuring Jabba
-Kevin Lyttle featuring Spragga Benz
-Usher (again)
-D12 (You sank my battleship!) - Emenem’s group (stands for Dirty Dozen)
-OutKast
-Juvenile featuring Soulja Slim
-Usher (again) featuring Lil Jon & Ludacris - WWWWHAT!!! OKAAAAAY!!!
-Mario Winans featuring Enya & P. Diddy (Okay, I know those last two.) - You might recognize a sample of Enya’s Bodecea in the background
Pop artists of varying degrees of talent:
-Britney Spears (Okay, I know who she is.) - You should unless you have been in a coma for the past 10 years
-Christina Milian
-Ashlee Simpson (Is she the next Britney? I’ve heard this name too.) - She’s like across between her sister Jessica and Avril Lavign (who’s kind of an angry Canadian Christina Aguilera)
-Alicia Keys (I’ve heard this name somewhere)
-Beyonce (Knowles? She was in the third Austin Powers movie)
Other
-Los Lonely Boys - Some one hit Santana light
Don’t know
-Petey Pablo (sounds like a restaurant)
And I’m 31
Why, I remember back in the day, way way back in nineteen-ninety-three (back when you were EIGHT, my boy!), I saw Dream Theater on their very first European concert EVAH, and much asseth waseth kicketh. Now where’s my fucking cane? 
All rightie, I’m 31, and apart from the excuse that I’m not an American, I don’t know most bands in the OP’s list. And honestly, the current Dutch top 40 isn’t that much different I’m sure.
Out of the list, I only know the following artists: Usher, Britney Spears, Beyonce (I see her all the time on MTV, on mute, while Pink Floyd is warming my living room. She seems like a very, uh, talented young lady, yeah, that’s the ticket), Alicia Keys, Mario Winans featuring Enya & P. Diddy (I also only know those last two), and OutKast.
The rest sound like aliens to me. It’s not that I don’t listen to “modern” music anymore, it’s mostly that I never was much of a Top 40 fan to begin with. I had all Dire Straits albums by the time I was 15, ferchrissakes. Luckily, I then discovered that there was such a thing as prog rock, and later, prog metal. I could have ended up with a 40-something record collection as early as my 23rd birthday if that hadn’t have happened.
[sub]Although I still DO like Dire Straits, so sue me…[/sub]
Perhaps you might have more luck with the UK Top 40:
Shapeshifters
Rachel Stevens
Usher
J-Kwon
Jamelia
Morrissey
Britney Spears
Nina Sky
O-Zone
Mario Winans,Enya & P Diddy
Flip n Fill
Girls Aloud
Shaznay Lewis
McFly
Kelis
Marillion
Will Young
Jay Sean & Richie Rich Project
Elvis Presley
Black Eyed Peas
Blue
George Michael
Snow Patrol
Damien Rice
Cassidy & R Kelly
Outkast
Kylie Minogue
Counting Crows
Beverly Knight
Basement Jaxx
Hives
Anastacia
Eamonn
Frankee
Velvet Revolver
Brandy & Kanye West
Mull Historical Society
Block Party
Scissor Sisters
Nelly Furtado
US is just endless RnB 
yuk
Let’s see…
Hoobastank - I saw them open up for 311 a couple years ago. All I remember is that I kept getting distracted and then when I would notice the music again I would think, “I didn’t know Incubus was here.” Rinse, repeat. To this day I couldn’t name one of their songs.
Britney - Obvious
Maroon5 - Found out about them about a month and a half ago when a coworker that I already hated made me hate her even more by blasting their cd 8 hours a day.
Juvenile featuring Soulja Slim - I know Juvenile because I remember that song “She get it from her mama”, which was kind of funny. I know Soulja Slim because I had to buy his cd for a coworker in a “Secret Santa” type thing around…1997 I think, maybe '98. I’ve never heard one of his songs.
Petey Pablo (sounds like a restaurant) - I know him because he did that song ‘NAWTH CAROLINA, RAISE UP!’, and I’m from NC.
Beyonce (Knowles? She was in the third Austin Powers movie)
Alicia Keys (I’ve heard this name somewhere) - Know them both. Fond of both of their looks. Alicia has a good voice and actually has a little bit of soul from the little bit I’ve heard; never been impressed with Beyonce’s music.
D12 (You sank my battleship!) - I heard maybe 3-4 years ago that they were supposed to be “the next big thing” in rap. I don’t think I’ve ever heard one of their songs.
OutKast - Been a fan since ATLiens. They’re the true talent of this list.
I’ve never heard of these people. I’m 23 FWIW.
I think of Patric Knowles. Pretty good British actor, I must say. That Harry Knowles guy is a little scary.
Actually, yeah. I recognise 21 names in the UK Top 40! But wait… Morrissey?? Of The Smiths? Is he making a comeback or something? Remember seeing him on (I think) Jonathan Ross’ show a few weeks ago, performing “Every day is like Sunday”, or whatever that (good) tune is called.
And Marillion, is that off their new album? I’m amazed they have a single in the charts these days!
Yeah, it gives me a sort of smug feeling that only the modern rock bands I don’t like ever make it into the top 40: cf. Hoobastank, Semitalented…errr, sonic. Perhaps only bad bands need the corrupt corporate rock system in order to make money, while bands that make money thru concerts and a loyal fan base don’t.
Coldfire, Morrissey isn’t making a “comeback” because he’s never been away. He’s had a solo career ever since the Smiths broke up, and he just recently released a new album. Obviously it’s more popular in the UK than the US, but everything I’ve heard from it so far isn’t bad.
As for the rest:
Hoobastank - awful cookie-cutter “modern rock” band. Interchangeable with Nickelback, Creed, Incubus, a whole host of sound-alikes.
Usher - R&B singer/dancer; some call him and Justin Timberlake the successors of Michael Jackson, back when MJ was good.
JoJo - a 13-year-old girl singing about life and love. 'Nuff said.
Nina Sky featuring Jabba - two attractive, exotic-looking twin sisters and a reggae “toaster” backing them up - I wasn’t impressed by their single, but it seems to be all over hip-hop radio.
Kevin Lyttle featuring Spragga Benz - I know Spragga Benz is a reggae singer or “toaster.”
Christina Milian - sexy young R&B singer; she sang the theme song of the cartoon “Kim Possible,” and she may replace Halle Berry as Storm in the third X-Men movie.
Maroon5 - another modern rock band, but their single “This Love” reminds me of Stevie Wonder, or at least Jamiroquai.
Juvenile featuring Soulja Slim - Juvenile is a rapper from the “Dirty South,” who usually raps about women, and sex, and sometimes sex with women.
Switchfoot - another modern rock band, or perhaps a bit heavier. Not sure.
Petey Pablo (sounds like a restaurant) - a rapper from North Carolina, whose current single is produced by Lil Jon.
Usher (again) featuring Lil Jon & Ludacris - Lil Jon is a Southern hip-hop producer and rapper, although his entire shtick consists of yelling “YEAH!”, “OK!”, and “WHAT?” in a loud voice. Ludacris is a popular rapper with a more mellow flow.
Los Lonely Boys - a rock band that seems to have some Latin influence.
Beyonce (Knowles? She was in the third Austin Powers movie) - the former lead singer of Destiny’s Child, she is very sexy and has a strong voice; she sings hip-hop-tinged R&B and pop.
Alicia Keys (I’ve heard this name somewhere) - a young, soulful diva who sings, plays piano, and writes her own songs.
Mario Winans featuring Enya & P. Diddy (Okay, I know those last two.) - MW is another generic R&B singer.
Ashlee Simpson (Is she the next Britney? I’ve heard this name too.) - the next teenage pop singer - her older sister is Jessica, another pop singer who is better known for being a sexy airhead on a reality show.
D12 (You sank my battleship!) - a collective of Detroit rappers led by the popular Eminem.
OutKast - one of the most talented and innovative groups in hip-hop, they are made of two members: Big Boi, a more traditional rapper, and Andre 3000, who draws from rock, funk, soul, and pop, and plays all his own instruments.
A noble concept, to be sure, but we also need some sort of action against O-Zone for that horrid ‘Dragostea Din Tei’ thing they’ve been torturing Europe with for some time now. Also, as a Finn, I endorse retribution against our homegrown crapmonger, Antti Tuisku. Words can’t describe how awful he is. Thank your lucky stars that he sings in Finnish (thus far) and you foreigners won’t get to experience him.
I like where this is going- each country purges its own crappy pop stars. Granted, Americans will have to do more of the work, but I bet we can find the volunteers.
Some of these nu-metal bands could be singing in Finnish for all my ability to understand them. 
Bork bork bork.
Coldfire, if liking Dire Straits is actionable, I’ll be in the defendant’s box with ya. 
Wouldn’t surprise me if some of them are, as metal is HUGE in Scandinavia. The only metal band I like, Nightwish, actually is Finnish, although the songs I’ve heard have all been in English. They’re nothing like nu-metal; imagine an operatic girl singer, melodramatic, fantasy-based lyrics, and super-fast guitar parts. Kinda like Evanescence, only better, faster, and heavier.
I only know a few of them. I’ve probably heard many of them, and changed the station. Basically, I’d guess that very few of them are worth knowing. Except Outkast and Alicia Keys, that is. Both have great talent. So does Eminem, but throw him in with those other idiots (D12) and it’s not worth listening to anymore. I generally don’t mind Usher either, but this new song of his (“Confessions” or whatever it’s called) has taken him off my “worth listening to” list for the time being. Worth looking at, yes. Worth hearing, no. Just my humble opinion, of course! FWIW, I’m 26.
Big Bad Voodoo Lou, I suggest you check out Dutch metal band The Gathering. Especially their album Mandyllion sounds exactly like that band you just described. The song Strange Machines is absolutely fantastic.
Artists I’ve never heard of:
Nina Sky
Jabba
JoJo
Kevin Lyttle
Juvenile
Switchfoot
Spragga Benz
Soulja Slim
Mario Winans
Maroon5
Christina Milian
Petey Pablo
Artists I’ve heard of but don’t know any songs by:
Lil Jon (thank to Dave Chappelle)
Los Lonely Boys (saw their name in Rolling Stone, I think)
Ashlee Simpson (my wife watches E! Jessica’s sister, right?)
Usher
Artists I may know songs by (not sure):
Ludacris
Beyonce
Alicia Keys
D12 (are they fronted by Eminem?)
P. Diddy
Artists I know songs by:
Hoobastank (just one, that insufferable p.o.s. The Reason)
Britney Spears (can’t escape her, it seems)
Outkast (only group in this list I like; may buy that double album that has Hey Ya!)
Artists I own music of:
Enya (just Watermark album from ages ago; why would you ever need more than one album by her?)
Artists I’ve Heard Of:
Hoobastank (hate the name)
Britney Spears
Heard of Eminem, but not D12
…but I’ve never heard any music by either. I haven’t paid any attention in years.
Do you mean Bjork? 
If it makes you feel any better, I’m eighteen and I couldn’t recognize the work of many of these bands/artists, though I’ve heard of most of them.
From the original list, I could recognize…
Maroon 5 (just because of that stupid “This Love” song…gahhh)
Britney Spears, possibly
OutKast
Enya
In addition, from the UK list I could recognize…
Elvis Presley
Counting Crows
Nelly Furtado
I think that’s it. Oh, for the talent of the 60s and 70s.
I’ll second the recommendation for The Gathering. High-quality stuff. Actually, you can listen to “Strange Machines” because Century Media is kind enough to make it available for free.
Just out of curiosity, what’s the Dutch top 40 (or equivalent) look like?
I do not mind their being pop music I do not know. No problem.
I am annoyed there are American sports teams I do no know. (Tennessee plays pro ball?)