# More I didn't need to know about Roger Clemens **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [February 5, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582 "2009-02-05T16:58:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/1 "2009-02-05T16:58:09Z")
[From Torre’s new book](http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Top-O-The-Order-A-Roger-Clemens-story-you-ll-w?urn=mlb,137562): To get himself into a proper mood on days he started, Roger would first get into a hot tub, with the heat on max. Then > [@](#): > > “He’d come out looking like a lobster,” Yankee trainer Steve Donahue said. > > Then Donahue would rub the hottest possible liniment on (Clemens’) testicles. > > “He’d start snorting like a bull,” the trainer said. “That’s when he was ready to pitch.” No point here, just something I thought I’d share. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/2 "2009-02-05T17:04:48Z")
I hope Donahue was very, VERY well-paid. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/3 "2009-02-05T17:16:48Z")
This is a good (if partial) answer to Piazza’s question to Clemens immediately following the batshard-throwing incident: “What’s your problem?” “My balls are on fire, plus I’ve got steroids in my system, and I’ve got third-degree burns on my entire epidermis besides. You’re lucky I don’t rip your heart out through your nose and eat it raw.” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/4 "2009-02-05T17:22:47Z")
Kind of gives new meaning to the phrase: “Great balls of fire,” doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/5 "2009-02-05T17:39:10Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Kind of gives new meaning to the phrase: “Great balls of fire,” doesn’t it? Kind of gives new meaning to the phrase: “Now warming up in the bullpen,…”, too. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/6 "2009-02-05T18:49:49Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I hope Donahue was very, VERY well-paid. He couldn’t rub it on his own sack? That is demented. it should keep him out of the Hall of Flame. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/7 "2009-02-05T18:51:49Z")
So all that time he really _was_ doctoring the balls. _rimshot_ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/8 "2009-02-05T18:52:24Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Kind of gives new meaning to the phrase: “Great balls of fire,” doesn’t it? All the sportswriters who described Clemens as a fireballer now feel kind of dirty. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/9 "2009-02-05T19:45:38Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I hope Donahue was very, VERY well-paid. Maybe it, um, made him snort like a bull too, ya know? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/10 "2009-02-05T21:28:48Z")
“Can I be in the Hall Of Fame?” You took steroids, you lie about it, and you have a trainer rub hot ointment on your nuts. Get the hell away from me you creepy ass FUCK! ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/11 "2009-02-05T21:46:38Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > “Can I be in the Hall Of Fame?” > > You took steroids, you lie about it, and you have a trainer rub hot ointment on your nuts. Get the hell away from me you creepy ass FUCK! LOL, literally. I think it helped that I was imagining Bob Costas saying it. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/12 "2009-02-07T17:23:03Z")
Liar, liar, [del]pants[/del] nuts on fire. Kinda incredible to compare the adulation he used to receive with what he’d likely encounter were he to try and return to the game now. He and Bonds have cemented a place in baseball lore arguably unseen before. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-i-didnt-need-to-know-about-roger-clemens/484582/13 "2009-02-08T10:32:16Z")
I never liked the guy, and nothing I’ve heard about the jackass since he’s left the game has changed my mind. If I was the trainer, I would never rub another man’s nutsack with anything but sandpaper. And if forced to, it would only be once. A big glob of that liniment would find it’s way up Clemens’ ass. See if he’d ask ME to do it again. What an egomaniac. I know these guys are pampered and all, but honestly… having your team trainer rub liniment on your own scrotum? WTF? I hope all these 'roid boys don’t get into the HOF. An outrage! By the way, does the story you quote discuss the first conversation between the two men? Roger: Listen, Donahue… you seem like a nice fella, and you have soft hands. Can you put this Liquid Heat on my testicles? After you shave them, of course. Donahue: I’d love to! Let me get my camera! Single biggest mistake in Mike Piazza’s career was not charging the mound and beating that psychopath with the butt-end of his bat after Clemens threw that broken bat head at him.