# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 105
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2022, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2092 "2022-05-27T21:44:48Z")
> [@solost](#): > > > [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > > > Something like “He could offer no explanation for his conduct.” > > I think he conducted himself very well. By resisting giving an answer? ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2022, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2093 "2022-05-27T21:48:17Z")
[quote=“dtilque, post:2092, topic:848629, full:true”] > [@solost](#): > > > [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > > > > Something like “He could offer no explanation for his conduct.” > > > [/quote] > > > > > > I think he conducted himself very well. > > By resisting giving an answer? I guess I’ve sparked a real joule of discussion—this has some potential! ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2022, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2094 "2022-05-27T21:50:38Z")
You guys are really amping up the discussion! ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2022, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2095 "2022-05-27T21:57:08Z")
We’re not getting much resistance, maybe a coulomb (cool ohm). Repeated puns, kind of re-volting, isn’t it? > **[Roy Sullivan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Sullivan)** > > Roy Cleveland Sullivan (February 7, 1912 – September 28, 1983) was an American park ranger in Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. Between 1942 and 1977, Sullivan was claimed to have been struck by lightning on seven occasions, surviving all of them. For this reason, he gained the nicknames "Human Lightning Conductor" and "Human Lightning Rod". Sullivan is recognized by Guinness World Records as the person struck by lightning more recorded times than any other human being. > Roy was born in G... Article says: > On the morning of September 28, 1983, Sullivan died at the age of 71 from a [self-inflicted gunshot wound](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide) to the head.[[6]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Sullivan#cite_note-6) ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2096 "2022-05-28T00:04:23Z")
What’s a metaphor? Cow grazing ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2097 "2022-05-28T15:06:17Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > On the morning of September 28, 1983, Sullivan died at the age of 71 from a [self-inflicted gunshot wound](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide) to the head.[[6]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Sullivan#cite_note-6) Shocking! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2098 "2022-05-28T17:37:50Z")
### Why don’t racecar drivers eat before a race? So they don’t get Indy-gestion. * * * ### Why are racecar drivers the best people to go to for dating advice? They’re trained to look for red flags. * * * ### Boy: What’s a palindrome? Teacher: racecar {10 years later} Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where’s the palindrome? Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak] ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2099 "2022-05-28T17:48:14Z")
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a restaurant. The doorman stops them and says "Sorry, you can’t come in without a Thai. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2100 "2022-05-28T18:44:29Z")
Your agonizer, Mr. Mustard. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2101 "2022-05-28T20:13:40Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Boy: What’s a palindrome? > > Teacher: racecar > > {10 years later} > > Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where’s the palindrome? > > Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak] Was the getaway driver a Nauruan? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2102 "2022-05-28T22:30:53Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > > [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > > > On the morning of September 28, 1983, Sullivan died at the age of 71 from a [self-inflicted gunshot wound](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide) to the head.[[6]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Sullivan#cite_note-6) > > Shocking! That was really sad to find out. @lobotomyboy63, dude, way to impede the fun with electrical puns! ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2103 "2022-05-28T22:32:28Z")
> [@solost](#): > > That was really sad to find out. @lobotomyboy63, dude, way to impede the fun with electrical puns! Sorry, I figured everyone wanted to know his current status. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2104 "2022-05-28T22:32:41Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > The doorman stops them and says "Sorry, you can’t come in without a Thai. I thought that joke would never Finnish! ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2105 "2022-05-28T22:35:19Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > > [@solost](#): > > > > That was really sad to find out. @lobotomyboy63, dude, way to impede the fun with electrical puns! > > Sorry, I figured everyone wanted to know his current status. I wasn’t really calling you out so much as using it as opportunity to make yet another electrical pun. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2106 "2022-05-28T22:35:34Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > The doorman stops them and says "Sorry, you can’t come in without a Thai. A guy steps up, claiming to be Thai. The doorman is suspicious, asks, “Are you really from Thailand?” and he answers, “Yes, Siam.” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2107 "2022-05-28T22:36:09Z")
> [@solost](#): > > > [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > > > > [@solost](#): > > > > > > That was really sad to find out. @lobotomyboy63, dude, way to impede the fun with electrical puns! > > > > Sorry, I figured everyone wanted to know his current status. > > I wasn’t really calling you out so much as using it as opportunity to make yet another electrical pun. ETA: current, well played. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2108 "2022-05-28T22:36:14Z")
> [@solost](#): > > I wasn’t really calling you out so much as using it as opportunity to make yet another electrical pun. …his current…status… ETA ninja’ed ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2022, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2109 "2022-05-28T22:42:05Z")
I don’t care watt anybody says, I think you’re pretty well grounded. ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_B](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jim_b/32/4338_2.png) [@Jim\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_B)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2022, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2110 "2022-05-29T00:25:15Z")
_What are disloyal oaks guilty of?_ Treason. _What did the carpenter say to his son?_ Stop biting your nails! ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2022, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2111 "2022-05-29T04:11:55Z")
> [@solost](#): > > I don’t care watt anybody says, I think you’re pretty well grounded. Thanks, I know there’s some polarity on that issue. I try not to let it phase me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=104) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=106)