# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 149
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2023, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2972 "2023-01-27T21:25:22Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### I know a girl who is only attracted to Canadians. > > She’s Eh’-sexual. **I knew a girl who was only attracted to classic automobiles.** She was a chromosexual. > **[Help with Kristy Vant, "Chrissy, my little Chromosexual"](http://www.inthe00s.com/archive/misheard/smf/1214716889.shtml)** > > Another thread reminded me of Kristy Vants one-hit (hit?) :-) wonder Chrissy, My Little Chromosexual, which has aired on Dr. Demento every few years ever since its origin in 1982. And since the lyrics arent available online, and since the ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2973 "2023-01-28T00:18:22Z")
Apologize at once! ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2974 "2023-01-28T02:02:27Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Guys, I’m just in the middle of a huge argument with my wife and she just told me I’m right… > > What do I do next? Wake up. You’re obviously dreaming. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2975 "2023-01-28T02:39:34Z")
Patient: “Doctor - how can I get rid of water on the knee?” Doctor: “Wear hose, and pumps.” Patient: “Doctor - how can I avoid falling hair?” Doctor: “Step out of the way.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2976 "2023-01-28T11:37:14Z")
“Dad, why did you and mom name my sister Teresa?” “Because your mother really loves Easter, so we made her name an anagram of something she loves. Why do you ask, Alan?” ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2977 "2023-01-28T13:01:47Z")
What’s the best cure for water on the knee? A tap on the shin. (Might not work in USA, Tap(UK) = Faucet (USA)) ---
**Author:** ![its\_the\_daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bb73d2/32.png) [@its\_the\_daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/its_the_daddy)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2978 "2023-01-28T13:35:58Z")
Wear drainpipe trousers: ditto ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2979 "2023-01-28T13:54:14Z")
### Little Doris went to visit the new baby at the Johnson’s house. Mrs. Johnson answered the door and Doris said, “Hi, Mrs. Johnson, is baby Bobby there? Could I talk to him?” Mrs. Johnson smiled and said, “I’m sorry but Bobby is only a little baby. He can’t talk yet.” Doris said, “That’s OK. I’ll wait.” * * * ### What did the paint give the wall on their first anniversary? A new coat. * * * ### How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards. * * * ### Who is Superman’s most religious enemy? Lex Lutheran. * * * ### What did the milkmaid say to the anxious butter? You’ll have to wait your churn. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2980 "2023-01-28T14:10:16Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > (Might not work in USA, Tap(UK) = Faucet (USA)) It mostly works. In the US, absent any context, a “tap” would be the spout on a beer keg, or maybe a maple tree, but it can also be a faucet, and in any event it’s something you use to start or stop the flow of a liquid. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2981 "2023-01-28T15:36:12Z")
Growing up, ‘tap’ was commonly used as ‘faucet’. I’m a Southern California native. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2982 "2023-01-28T15:50:53Z")
Well, water from any faucet in a house is generally called ‘tap water’, not ‘faucet water’. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2983 "2023-01-28T16:45:15Z")
Yeah, I got it, too. My mind immediately went to “water tap”. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2984 "2023-01-28T17:24:00Z")
On thinking about it some more, I think that, in English, the “tap” is specifically the spout that the water (or other liquid) comes out, while the “faucet” is the whole assembly, including the handle or handles on the valves to turn the water on and off and control the temperature. In any event, it’s certainly close enough for the joke to work. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2985 "2023-01-28T17:33:12Z")
Well, undoubtedly this thread’s been tapped out. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2986 "2023-01-28T17:38:52Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Well, undoubtedly this thread’s been tapped out It’s certainly been watered down. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2987 "2023-01-28T19:34:50Z")
Circling the drain, I’d say. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2988 "2023-01-28T20:15:40Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > “Because your mother really loves Easter, so we made her name an anagram of something she loves. Why do you ask, Alan?” Okay, I’m dense. But I really tried. What’s the anagram of Alan that makes this funny? ---
**Author:** ![J-P\_L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/j-p_l/32/3156_2.png) [@J-P\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J-P_L)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2989 "2023-01-28T20:17:26Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Okay, I’m dense. But I really tried. What’s the anagram of Alan that makes this funny? I think it mean “Anal” ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2990 "2023-01-28T20:19:50Z")
Headsmack. How’d I miss that? ---
**Author:** ![a6ka97](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@a6ka97](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a6ka97)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2023, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/2991 "2023-01-28T22:06:56Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Guys, I’m just in the middle of a huge argument with my wife and she just told me I’m right… > > What do I do next? I married Mrs. Right. Didn’t realize she is Mrs. _Always_ Right [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=148) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=150)