# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 159
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3172 "2023-03-18T00:20:25Z")
Q. What is Irish and sits outside your house all summer long? A. Paddy O’Furniture. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3173 "2023-03-18T00:31:30Z")
Why does Irish chili have only 239 beans in it? Because one more would make it too farty. **\_\_\_\_\_\_\_** What’s more Irish than potatoes? No potatoes. **\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_** Did you hear about the Irish boomerang? It doesn’t come back, it just keeps singing about how much it wants to. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3174 "2023-03-18T00:38:08Z")
So… Irish jokes are OK? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3175 "2023-03-18T00:42:01Z")
Yes. . . . . . . (hey, you asked) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3176 "2023-03-18T01:11:47Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > So… Irish jokes are OK? My background’s about a third Irish and half English. So, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3177 "2023-03-18T01:17:38Z")
I’d heard the “more Irish than potatoes” one before, but the boomerang was a new one for me. And I laughed out loud. (and if anyone’s worried about offense, I should also mention that I just spent twelve hours working in the kitchen at my church’s St. Patrick’s Day events). ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3178 "2023-03-18T01:26:52Z")
What? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3179 "2023-03-18T10:36:58Z")
Three Oxford dons were standing in the high street, discussing their love for collective nouns, when the youngest one directed their attention to three ladies of the evening walking their way. “Look there,” he said. “I do believe that I espy a trey of tarts!” The next oldest clucked dismissively. “I think you mean ‘a fanfare of strumpets.’” The oldest shook his head in disappointment. “I’m surprised that neither of you gentlemen recognize an anthology of English pros when you see one.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3180 "2023-03-18T12:33:20Z")
### Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 cases of Red Bull. I don’t know how they sleep at night. * * * ### Where does a Viking clown go after he dies? To ValHaHa. * * * ### What do you call it when a Furry says he’s sorry? An anthropology. * * * ### I got the award for Shoplifter of the Year 2022! I didn’t win it… * * * ### My wife woke up with a big smile on her face… and I’m not allowed to bring Sharpies to bed anymore. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3181 "2023-03-18T12:40:49Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming. Neither did Conor. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3182 "2023-03-18T19:24:54Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Neither did Conor 🥁 :rimshot: ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2023, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3183 "2023-03-18T22:28:52Z")
### Who would win in a fight: Hawkeye or Homer Simpson? Homer: That name again is “Mr. Plow”. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2023, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3184 "2023-03-19T01:54:02Z")
I saw a guy with March Madness teeth the other day. Down to his final four. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2023, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3185 "2023-03-19T10:48:51Z")
### What did March say to the Madness? What’s all that bracket? * * * ### Why do basketball players love Oreos? 'Cause they can dunk them. * * * ### Why did Jesus lose the basketball game? Because Peter denied him three times. And he got crossed up. * * * ### When a basketball player never misses a shot, he’s a “god”… When I never miss a shot, I’m an “alchoholic”. * * * ### Why don’t basketball players go on vacation? They’re not allowed to travel. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Klutz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captain_klutz/32/4993_2.png) [@Captain\_Klutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Klutz)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2023, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3186 "2023-03-19T14:57:54Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### A man was crossing the street when he was struck by a mobile library. > > He lie there, groaning in agony, until the librarian ran up and said “Shhh!” A man was charged with stealing the mobile library. He pleaded not guilty as he returned it within three weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2023, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3187 "2023-03-20T14:27:50Z")
### Did you hear they’ve made an Artificially Intelligent Oreo? That’s one smart cookie. * * * ### Humans are being tested against AI in every category, and in every category they fail. The last category is hunting. The humans spread out, but are captured by the AI-driven robots in little time. However, someone frees the humans, and they are allowed to try again. This time the humans escape. AI can’t Recaptcha. * * * ### Scientist predict AI will reach human intelligence by 2040. Maybe sooner if the bar keeps dropping. * * * ### How do trees feel in the Spring? Releaved. * * * ### Spring is nature’s way of saying: “Let’s Party!” – Robin Williams ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2023, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3188 "2023-03-20T15:55:20Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Did you hear they’ve made an Artificially Intelligent Oreo? > > That’s one smart cookie. There’s some speculation as to whether the AI Oreo is conscious / self-aware or not, but the answer is just not that black and white. ---
**Author:** ![J-P\_L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/j-p_l/32/3156_2.png) [@J-P\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J-P_L)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2023, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3189 "2023-03-20T16:59:59Z")
> [@solost](#): > > There’s some speculation as to whether the AI Oreo is conscious / self-aware or not, but the answer is just not that black and white. I think somebody ate the evidence. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2023, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3190 "2023-03-21T02:25:42Z")
Even before that, it wasn’t exactly a slam dunk. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2023, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/3191 "2023-03-21T14:13:36Z")
### Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them. * * * ### What’s Jesus’ Myers-Briggs personality type? INRI * * * ### I went to the used car dealer and bought the only thing I could afford, the Rolls-Canardly It rolls down one hill and canardly make it up the next. * * * ### Is it all right to ignore dumplings in my Chinese takeout? Or will I be charged with won ton neglect? * * * ### The Invisible Man has a warrant out for his arrest. The charge is “Failure to appear”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=158) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=160)