# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 227
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4532 "2024-03-14T05:55:41Z")
> [@solost](#): > > I know 1023 MB is a byte short, not a bit, but I couldn’t get byte to work as a joke) Don’t feel bad; it’s actually a megabyte short, so a byte wouldn’t have worked either. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4533 "2024-03-14T12:31:14Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Her parents were weird hippies, who didn’t name her until she was old enough to talk, and let her name herself. Did not know that. Interesting. And weird, yes. What did they do before she could talk? “Hey, _ **you** _, baby to be named later, crawl over here and get your bottle”. > [@markn\_1](#): > > Don’t feel bad; it’s actually a megabyte short, so a byte wouldn’t have worked either. Yeah, I realized that after the fact and thought I got away with it without another Doper noticing. But of course I could not be so lucky 😏 My joke creating ability is apparently so bad it _mega_bytes. ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4534 "2024-03-14T14:18:54Z")
> [@solost](#): > > thought I got away with it without another Doper noticing Oh, you sweet, summer child ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4535 "2024-03-14T15:07:58Z")
> [@solost](#): > > My joke creating ability is apparently so bad it _mega_bytes. Okay, that’s funny! I might start using it IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4536 "2024-03-14T15:15:53Z")
If I’ve told him that once, I’ve told him a thousand times. 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4537 "2024-03-14T15:34:06Z")
Ha, good one! …although _ **actually** _, you mean ‘a thousand twenty four times’. [/obligatory Doper nitpick 😉] ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4538 "2024-03-14T15:37:38Z")
I thought of saying that, then wasn’t sure. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4539 "2024-03-14T15:40:02Z")
No, your version was much funnier. I was just playing the part of a tiresome pedant who misses the point of the joke entirely in favor of making a pointless correction. A part I have _lived_ as well, not just _played_, but that time was just for fun. …aaand scene. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4540 "2024-03-14T15:48:40Z")
What does a guitar and a nose have in common? … … … They both can be finger picked. 😈 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4541 "2024-03-14T15:53:25Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > What does a guitar and a nose have in common? “…I don’t know.” “Then, no, you can’t borrow my guitar.” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4542 "2024-03-14T16:09:40Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > What does a guitar and a nose have in common? If you have a lot of money, you can afford to buy a nicer one? ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4543 "2024-03-14T16:10:56Z")
> [@solost](#): > > If you have a lot of money, you can afford to buy a nicer one? Ah!! That’s clever. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4544 "2024-03-14T16:15:12Z")
Happy Pi Day! ### Want to see all the decimal digits of Pi? They are {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}, and there are no others! * * * ### Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π. Psychiatrist: Is it recurring? Me: Not as far as anyone can tell. * * * ### What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes? Fat. You get fat. * * * ### Chuck Norris can recite the entirety of pi. Backwards. * * * ### What do Pi and anti-vaxxers have in common? They’re both irrational. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4545 "2024-03-15T15:55:40Z")
### The killing of Julius Caesar is a perfect example of group project. 60 dudes agreed to kill Caesar But there were only 23 stab wounds. * * * ### Not everybody thinks Cleopatra is beautiful… But that’s how Julius Caesar. * * * ### Why did Julius Caesar never say “Thank you” to anyone? He didn’t speak English. * * * ### TIL that dinosaurs used hot springs to take baths But as time advanced they moved on to meteor showers. * * * ### Sir Isaac Newton was completely WRONG about apples They don’t fall to the ground because of gravity. It’s natural selection. Trees that produce apples that fall upwards don’t have offspring. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4546 "2024-03-15T16:51:07Z")
I heard on the news about a teacher who was injured when her car ran off the road while she was checking her students’ test papers. She was grading on the curve. mmm ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4547 "2024-03-15T18:38:31Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > She was grading on the curve. I heard she was cross-eyed because she couldn’t keep her pupils straight. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4548 "2024-03-15T22:04:40Z")
That reminds me of a Lorena Bobbitt joke. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4549 "2024-03-15T22:13:15Z")
Wasn’t she the one who got charged for littering? ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4550 "2024-03-15T23:09:08Z")
If so, Bobbitt twice got the shaft. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4551 "2024-03-15T23:44:51Z")
It’s the one where she knocked that poor little old lady pedestrian cockeyed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=226) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=228)