# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 249
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2024, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4972 "2024-07-02T17:33:46Z")
> [@Civil\_Guy](#): > > Money can’t buy happiness, but it could buy me a boat it could buy me a truck to pull it it could buy me a Yeti 110 iced down with some Silver Bullets -Chris Jansen, courtesy of my Spotify AI - DJ, for some reason… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2024, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4973 "2024-07-02T17:37:30Z")
Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a helicopter, and that’s the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2024, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4974 "2024-07-03T00:39:58Z")
Balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2024, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4975 "2024-07-03T13:18:26Z")
### I once met a guy who used to taste test nickels, dimes, and quarters… > But he didn’t make a lick of cents. * * * ### What are fishes greatest fear? > School shooters. * * * ### My wife is paranoid. > She says she can’t have an orgasm unless the door is locked. I say, “Come on, let me in!” * * * ### What did the shirt say to the pants as they were walking away? > Peace out, britches! * * * ### How many clickbait articles does it take to screw in a light bulb? > #8 will shock you. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2024, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4976 "2024-07-03T14:55:57Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Peace out, britches! Enjoyed by me. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2024, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4977 "2024-07-03T21:21:04Z")
Circumvent - the opening in the front of boxer shorts ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2024, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4978 "2024-07-03T22:51:51Z")
Prevent - fart _before_ you eat the beans. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4979 "2024-07-04T12:59:11Z")
### I re-watched Will Smith in “Independence Day” last night. Still slaps. * * * ### Why aren’t there any Independence Day knock knock jokes? > 'Cause freedom **rings**. * * * ### You can take my fireworks from my cold dead fingers. > One is over there, another is way over there. * * * ### Last 4th of July I remember watching the fireworks on the TV. > In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best place to light them. * * * ### I hate those people that bang on your door saying you need to be “saved” or else you’ll “burn”. > Stupid firemen. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4980 "2024-07-04T13:12:31Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### I re-watched Will Smith in “Independence Day” last night. > > Still slaps. …I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4981 "2024-07-04T13:18:44Z")
Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscar in 2023 for making a joke about Will’s wife. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4982 "2024-07-04T14:09:58Z")
OK, now I’ve gone from the joke having zero meanings (and hence making no sense at all) to it having one meaning (and hence making some sense, but not being a joke). What’s the other meaning of “still slaps” that makes it funny? ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4983 "2024-07-04T14:18:47Z")
May the fourth be with you! - old wrinkly guys. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4984 "2024-07-04T14:38:33Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > What’s the other meaning of “still slaps” that makes it funny? That’s how the kids today say something is great – it “slaps”. Also “bad” means “good” and to “shake your booty” means to “wiggle one’s butt”. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4985 "2024-07-04T14:42:38Z")
Flatulence - the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4986 "2024-07-04T14:53:10Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > “shake your booty” In the '80s a radio station had a mock soap opera. One of the characters was called Sheik Yerbouti. [Spelling corrected per @silenus .] ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4987 "2024-07-04T14:54:08Z")
Sniglet! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4988 "2024-07-04T14:57:33Z")
Sheik Yerbouti was an album by Frank Zappa. > **[Sheik Yerbouti](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheik_Yerbouti)** > > Sheik Yerbouti is a double album by American musician Frank Zappa, released in March 1979 as the first release on Zappa Records, distributed by Phonogram Inc. in the United States and Canada. The album was released in other countries by CBS Records. It is mostly made up of live material recorded in 1977 and 1978, with extensive overdubs added in the studio. In an October 1978 interview, Zappa gave the working album title as Martian Love Secrets. It was later released on a single CD. Sheik Yerbo... ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4989 "2024-07-04T14:58:54Z")
Spelling corrected. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4990 "2024-07-04T15:58:18Z")
Also, in reference to the film “Independence Day”, Will Smith’s character slaps an alien. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2024, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/4991 "2024-07-04T17:35:43Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### You can take my fireworks from my cold dead fingers. > > > One is over there, another is way over there. 🤣 Thank you, I needed that!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=248) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=250)