# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 251
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2024, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5012 "2024-07-10T15:27:21Z")
Yeah, not gonna lie, a bit of a thinker-- took me a minute. Nice payoff tho 👏 👏 👏 ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2024, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5013 "2024-07-10T22:01:05Z")
I just went to the ~~annangram~~ anagram finder and oceanic seems to be the only one. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2024, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5014 "2024-07-10T22:07:11Z")
I love anagrams. Especially anagram magic square. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2024, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5015 "2024-07-10T22:27:51Z")
> [@solost](#): > > a bit of a thinker Everyone else kept talkin’ about it, so my “stubborn” kicked in. Got it. Eventually. Man, that was a lotta work, even with the hints. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2024, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5016 "2024-07-10T23:01:58Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > This just appeared on my fb feed … Reminds me a bit of this one: A man grows cranberries. He has so many, he starts selling them. People love his cranberries, business booms. He decides to incorporate and scale his business. He hires an assistant. All is going well, but he is struggling to come up with a name for his company. His assistant tells him to just use his own name. The boss, being humble, resist this. “Maybe I could use my name,” he says, “but code it somehow. Perhaps another language, like Swahili, Aramaic, Sanskrit, Pig Latin…” “That’s a great idea, Mr. Sprocean!” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2024, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5017 "2024-07-10T23:42:16Z")
I threw a boomerang at a ghost and it came back to haunt me. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2024, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5018 "2024-07-11T21:43:59Z")
### TIL: A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australia’s chief export… > …And import. * * * ### How do you stop a dog barking in July? > Shoot him in June. * * * ### When I die I want to come back as a spider, > That way I’ll finally hear girls say “OMG, it’s huge”. * * * ### A plane carrying picnic baskets has crashed in the jungle - > Rescue attempts are being hampered. * * * ### When two metalheads marry… > …It’s called a welding. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5019 "2024-07-12T02:43:01Z")
Roy: “Hey, I heard a new Phoebe Bridger song!” Laura: “Aren’t they all?” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5020 "2024-07-12T11:04:44Z")
Right over my head, not even mussing my hair. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5021 "2024-07-12T11:24:15Z")
I didn’t even need to duck. mmm ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5022 "2024-07-12T12:04:55Z")
I think it’s an inside joke. As in, it only makes sense and / or is funny inside Gatopescado’s head 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5023 "2024-07-12T12:39:32Z")
I think the idea is that, for old folks like most of us, ANY song by a Gen Z (or perhaps even Millenial) artist is “new.” ---
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5024 "2024-07-12T12:45:48Z")
My guess was that it was a dig at the singer, being so bad that any rendition of the same song will sound different from the ones before. I have no knowledge of her at all though. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5025 "2024-07-12T16:59:59Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Roy: “Hey, I heard a new Phoebe Bridger song!” > > Laura: “Aren’t they all?” Not Rob and Laura? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5026 "2024-07-12T20:30:50Z")
Let me explain… (I think she’s great, by the way)… It seems like every time I hear something new lately (listening to new Sirius channels), she is somehow involved. She’s got like 4 bands, 12 side-projects, collaborates with _everyone_, produces, has her own label… So, the (poor) joke is… Yes, _every new song_ is hers. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2024, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5027 "2024-07-12T22:33:52Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > So, the (poor) joke is… Yes, _every new song_ is hers. Try: > Roy: “Hey, I heard a new song. It was by Phoebe Bridger!” > > Laura: “Aren’t they all?” ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2024, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5028 "2024-07-13T05:13:34Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > I think the idea is that, for old folks like most of us, ANY song by a Gen Z (or perhaps even Millenial) artist is “new.” And I’m not likely to hear any of them unless Weird Al does a take-off. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2024, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5029 "2024-07-13T13:28:08Z")
I’m sorry to say that yesterday I was convicted of stealing all the periods from the courthouse computers. I’m expecting a long sentence. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2024, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5030 "2024-07-13T14:16:41Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > I’m expecting a long sentence. Wouldn’t that leave it open to question? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2024, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5031 "2024-07-13T14:21:02Z")
### I was walking past a farm and a sign said: > “Duck, Eggs” > I thought: That’s an unnecessary comma - and then it hit me." * * * ### Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, “Let’s eat kids” becomes > “Let’s eat punctuation.” * * * ### What do you call it when a physician corrects your punctuation? > A medically induced comma. * * * ### I recently won a punctuation competition. > My prize was an apos-_trophy_. * * * ### Why did Punctuation ruin Santa’s marriage? > Because a comma separates two clauses. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=250) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=252)