# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 283
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2025, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5652 "2025-01-10T22:58:29Z")
> [@solost](#): > > What’s wrong with that sentence? Are you suggesting it should have said ‘…_ **were** _ a total waste of time’? Yes. “Years” is plural. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2025, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5653 "2025-01-10T23:11:51Z")
Well, as I said– > [@solost](#): > > I think either is correct-- ‘three years of high school Spanish’ can be considered one individual unit of learning, I’d say. ‘My four years of college was a total waste of time’ is correct. Yes, ‘years’ is plural, but ‘four years of college’ is a unit of something. Or how about ‘that dozen donuts I ate was a mistake’. Also correct. Hey, if it was (were?) my grammar you were correcting, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. But you’re dissin’ Prof.P! ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2025, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5654 "2025-01-10T23:22:30Z")
I shouldn’t get into this, but… As far as I am concerned, “three years of Spanish” is the subject of the sentence and is a singular noun phrase. Use a plural verb only if each of the three years were separately a waste of time. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5655 "2025-01-11T00:00:19Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > Use a plural verb only if each of the three years were separately a waste of time. If it helps, my three years of high school were, separately, a waste of time. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5656 "2025-01-11T01:36:26Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Hey, if it was (were?) my grammar you were correcting, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. But you’re dissin’ Prof.P! Actually, he’s dissing Isaac Asimov, since I copied that verbatim from his joke book. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5657 "2025-01-11T03:59:38Z")
The Far Side caption: As the plane left the ground, Dr. Frankenstein realized he left his brain in San Francisco. ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5658 "2025-01-11T11:02:37Z")
A Stephen Wright joke. It’s something like: I went to San Francisco. I found somebody’s heart. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5659 "2025-01-11T14:11:50Z")
I’m going to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine. I’ll call it Wok like an Egyptian. mmm ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5660 "2025-01-11T14:22:11Z")
If somebody merged a Cold Stone Creamery and a Dairy Queen would they call it Cold Fusion? Should they? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5661 "2025-01-11T14:34:47Z")
### These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don’t concern me. It’s all just flake news. * * * ### The D&D party is traveling on a mountain in a blizzard, and every member rolls to see if they fall from the cliff. A dwarf warrior doesn’t pass the check due to his armor, and falls. DM: You fall from the cliff but have some time to do something. What do you do? Dwarf: I flap my arms really hard. DM: Really? Dwarf: Not like I have any other options. DM: Ok, roll the dice. Dwarf rolls a 20. DM: … roll again. Dwarf rolls a 20 again. DM is abash. DM: _sigh_. With an astonished look on their faces, the party beholds a miraculous sight. A dwarf in heavy armor is slowly rising up above the cliff, flapping his arms really, really hard. * * * ### A drunk, passed out, face down on freshly cut grass, finally comes to. He gets up and staggers across the street and into a bar. The bartender looks up and says… “Why the lawn face?” * * * ### Why did the seven dwarfs sell all their gems? To get hi with their hos. * * * ### My dog fell into the water but didn’t sink. He was a good buoy. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5662 "2025-01-11T14:41:29Z")
> [@solost](#): > > If somebody merged a Cold Stone Creamery and a Dairy Queen would they call it Cold Fusion? Should they? What if Dairy Queen and Smoothie King mated? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5663 "2025-01-11T14:47:45Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > What if Dairy Queen and Smoothie King mated? [Prince’s Hamburgers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince%27s_Hamburgers) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5664 "2025-01-11T15:21:21Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > What if Dairy Queen and Smoothie King mated? What if Dairy Queen merged with the Bel Aire Diner? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5665 "2025-01-11T16:19:16Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > What if Dairy Queen and Smoothie King mated? Dairy Smooth? Queen Smoothie? Queen King? I don’t get it. (I just googled, and found out Smoothie King is a real place.) ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5666 "2025-01-11T16:22:44Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > > [@SuntanLotion](#): > > > > What if Dairy Queen and Smoothie King mated? > > Dairy Smooth? Queen Smoothie? Queen King? I don’t get it. Their offspring would be The Smooth Prince of Dairy Air? That’s what you gotta love about Midwest dairy farms- even from a mile away, you can really smell the dairy air. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5667 "2025-01-11T17:47:40Z")
> [@solost](#): > > That’s what you gotta love about Midwest dairy farms- even from a mile away, you can really smell the dairy air. But not the dairy farms in California, New York, or Pennsylvania, which are 3 of the top 6 states with the most dairy cattle? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5668 "2025-01-11T18:25:53Z")
Yes of course, my apologies, I was dairylict in excluding non-Midwest dairy farms. Not sure why I even used the qualification ‘Midwest’. Sometimes I lactose qualities of common sense that would make me a butter communicator. I didn’t mean to cheese you off. I’m sure the dairy farms of California, New York and Pennsylvania smell every bit as strongly of dairy air as those of the Midwest. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5669 "2025-01-11T18:30:49Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Sometimes I lactose qualities of common sense that would make me a better communicator. Shouldn’t that be “butter communicator”? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5670 "2025-01-11T18:32:51Z")
Aw you’re right, what a missed opportunity! 🤦‍♂️ ….almost, that is. It was still in the edit window, so I fixed it. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2025, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5671 "2025-01-11T18:58:45Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Yes of course, my apologies, I was dairylict in excluding non-Midwest dairy farms. Not sure why I even used the qualification ‘Midwest’. Sometimes I lactose qualities of common sense that would make me a butter communicator. I didn’t mean to cheese you off. I’m sure the dairy farms of California, New York and Pennsylvania smell every bit as strongly of dairy air as those of the Midwest. Say what you will, they sing about the British versions. Who hasn’t heard of the London dairy air? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=282) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=284)