# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 295
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5892 "2025-02-26T21:11:16Z")
What’s the mathematical name for almond flour bread? I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5893 "2025-02-26T21:11:53Z")
Ninjad. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5894 "2025-02-26T21:25:48Z")
Is this the new rickroll? ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5895 "2025-02-26T21:28:44Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > What’s the mathematical name for almond flour bread? A Mandelbrot set. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5896 "2025-02-26T22:49:15Z")
Ah. Central California pronunciation of ‘almond’. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5897 "2025-02-26T22:57:50Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Central California It’s the name for almond bread in German and Yiddish. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5898 "2025-02-26T23:10:13Z")
In Central California they pronounce ‘almond’ as ‘ammin’ instead of ‘all-mond’. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2025, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5899 "2025-02-27T01:26:47Z")
### What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long ? A πthon. * * * ### What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long? A big freakin’ snake! * * * ### Do you know why the two mycologists got married? They wanted to grow mold together. * * * ### The story of the Swiss hero William Tell and his feat of shooting an apple off his son’s head with an arrow is legendary. His greatest service to his people, however, came by embarrassing the Hapsburg overlords (who ruled Switzerland at the time) in the traditional German game of 9-pins. His brave performance led to freedom for the Swiss, and this victory is remembered to this day, immortalized in the famous quote: “Ask not for whom the Tell bowls, he bowls for thee.” * * * ### What do you call raptors that turn to religion? Birds of Pray. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2025, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5900 "2025-02-27T03:37:07Z")
Northern California (the land north of Sacramento) is where they grow a lot of them, and yeah, ‘ammin’ is the word. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2025, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5901 "2025-02-27T03:51:16Z")
> [@Civil\_Guy](#): > > and yeah, ‘ammin’ is the word. Weird, eh? I was driving from L.A. to Bellingham one time, and it took me a while to understand what the almond farmer was saying on NPR. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2025, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5902 "2025-02-27T04:22:50Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Do you know why the two mycologists got married? > > They wanted to grow mold together. They were a perfect match-- he was a fungi, and she was a fungal. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2025, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5903 "2025-02-27T15:29:58Z")
### What’s the quickest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? Pull down its genes. * * * ### How much room do fungi need to grow? As mushroom as possible. * * * ### What did the volcano say to his beautiful wife? I lava you. * * * ### Two blood cells met and fell in love. Alas, 'twas all in vein. * * * ### What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2025, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5904 "2025-02-27T18:57:39Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Two blood cells met and fell in love. > > Alas, 'twas all in vein. Aorta know better. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2025, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5905 "2025-02-28T13:10:49Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Two blood cells met and fell in love. > > Alas, 'twas all in vein. Never would have worked out-- they had different travel preferences. She’s more of a homebody, but he mo’ globin’ ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2025, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5906 "2025-02-28T19:15:40Z")
Sometimes I imagine you guys as having “pun labs” in your garages, and you laboring out there until the wee hours of the morning, crafting these gems. Hee hee. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2025, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5907 "2025-03-01T04:59:40Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/48c263d7-90f8-4ee7-8a1c-092a52392122) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/48c263d7-90f8-4ee7-8a1c-092a52392122) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2025, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5908 "2025-03-01T05:00:50Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/2d26849a-532c-436e-8545-47c97d95d9f9) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/2d26849a-532c-436e-8545-47c97d95d9f9) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2025, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5909 "2025-03-01T06:56:11Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/3f215925-c72a-4720-8b07-cf5eac3065bb) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/3f215925-c72a-4720-8b07-cf5eac3065bb) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2025, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5910 "2025-03-01T06:58:13Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_70,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_77,w_100,c_scale/v200/1bbfe98a-1491-4e2d-afa3-e706606a902e) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_70,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_77,w_100,c_scale/v200/1bbfe98a-1491-4e2d-afa3-e706606a902e) ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2025, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/5911 "2025-03-01T14:56:12Z")
Hey, there are town names with even dumber, more banal origin stories than that… …said a resident of Bad Axe, Michigan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=294) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=296)