# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 306
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6112 "2025-04-17T23:17:53Z")
> [@solost](#): > > That’s kind of a sweeping generalization. Of course there are subtleties, especially with hits, but that is by and large true. Inturns and outturns are exactly what I said. Draws mostly are simply that, while hits can be more complicated. ---
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6113 "2025-04-17T23:20:28Z")
I think solost used the phase “sweeping generalisation” a little more literally than you think. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6114 "2025-04-18T00:11:12Z")
Yeah, I wonder if @Hari_Seldon felt a “whoosh” sweep over his head 😉 But then, my attempts at humor can be subtle at times. Some may even describe it as ‘nonexistent’ 😊 ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6115 "2025-04-18T01:06:02Z")
Oops. I was a little slow on the uptake. Age, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Nyvaak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Nyvaak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nyvaak)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6116 "2025-04-18T07:39:12Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Where _is_ the funny bone, anyway? Isn’t it part of the humerus bone ? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6117 "2025-04-18T12:35:02Z")
It’s a joke, son. ---
**Author:** ![Nyvaak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Nyvaak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nyvaak)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6118 "2025-04-18T12:58:37Z")
So was my question. Just maybe not a very good one. Should I have spelled it “humerous,” perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6119 "2025-04-18T15:00:07Z")
### Two co-workers are chatting. “Hey, Jim, your vacation’s coming up next week! Where are you going?” “Cancun. But I’m a little worried.” “How come?” “Well, the last two vacations, my wife has ended up pregnant. Last year it was Las Vegas, and she got pregnant. The year before that it was Miami, and sure enough, she got pregnant.” “Wow! You’d better take precautions this time!” “I’m planning on it. For starters, I’m taking her with me this year.” * * * ### How did Jesus feel when Judas betrayed him? Cross. * * * ### What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters. but never has 5 letters. * * * ### Engineers have invented a car that runs on parsley… Now they’re experimenting with busses, trains and airplanes to run on thyme! * * * ### Jesus was born on Christmas, died on Good Friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6120 "2025-04-18T15:12:20Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Jesus was born on Christmas, died on Good Friday and rose on Easter. > > What are the odds? And Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s Disease! 😲 ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6121 "2025-04-18T15:16:12Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Engineers have invented a car that runs on parsley… > > Now they’re experimenting with busses, trains and airplanes to run on thyme! Was one of the engineers a wise sage named Rosemary? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2025, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6122 "2025-04-19T13:03:02Z")
Therapist: You have gamophobia, an intense fear of marriage. Do you know the symptoms? Patient: I can’t say I do. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2025, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6123 "2025-04-19T14:07:54Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/50490f4c-a1e1-43f8-89f2-340600dd1087) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/50490f4c-a1e1-43f8-89f2-340600dd1087) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2025, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6124 "2025-04-19T22:50:15Z")
### What do you call a line of Easter Bunnies walking backward? _A receding hareline._ * * * ### Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? _Rabbit De Niro_ * * * ### Why weren’t there multiple seasons of crucifixions? People lost interest after the Pilate episode. * * * ### Why do we color Easter eggs? Because Jesus dyed for your sins. * * * ### What do they call the workers that make Peeps? Peeple. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2025, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6125 "2025-04-20T22:18:29Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/1017b771-ecae-4e43-8d07-0bf1b069b1f8) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/1017b771-ecae-4e43-8d07-0bf1b069b1f8) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2025, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6126 "2025-04-21T00:45:23Z")
### Who was the first man mentioned in the Bible? Chap. 1. * * * ### Why do writers hate the Bible? It has terrible characters; Noah is the only one with an arc. * * * ### What happened when the sparrow flew into the electric fan ? Shredded tweet. * * * ### Why’s lithium illegal? Because it’s a salt and battery. * * * ### A group of people gathered to protest poor internet - What do we want? - When do we want it? - Lag-free internet! - Now! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2025, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6127 "2025-04-21T14:15:48Z")
### One day Pope Francis dies and comes to the Pearly Gates. God himself is picking him up and guides him to his very own cloud. God leaves. Francis has his own harp and uses his time to praise the lord. After some hours God shows up again carrying a silver tray with a yogurt on it and a spoon. This repeats for some days. One evening the clouds beneath break up and he has a straight look into hell: he sees the devils making big fires and grilling half pigs, even half cows on the fire. Wine is served and everyone is feasting on an abundance of food. The next day God comes again with a yogurt. Francis curiosity gets the better of him and he tells God what he saw and asks him: “Lord, in your omnipoence, how can it be that they are feasting in hell and I am just getting yogurt?” God answers him: “Do you really expect me to cook just for the two of us?” ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2025, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6128 "2025-04-21T23:37:51Z")
Being in a relationship is solving problems together… ..problems you wouldn’t have if you were single. Boss: “What are you doing?” Me: "Watching a video on How to Effectively Deal with Co-workers. " Boss: " That’s kickboxing. " Me: “Exactly.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2025, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6129 "2025-04-22T13:29:53Z")
**Did you hear about the amazing new, battery-powered, marital aid?** It’s a humdinger! ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2025, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6130 "2025-04-22T13:34:36Z")
> **[Pope Francis Dies Rather Than Spend Any More Time With JD Vance](https://thehardtimes.net/culture/pope-francis-dies-rather-than-spend-any-more-time-with-jd-vance/)** > > The Holy See Press Office announced that Pope Francis chose the calming embrace of death rather than experience any additional time spent on this Earthly plane of existence in the presence of United States Vice President, JD Vance. Yes, sarcasm. Well written and with the current administration - potentially true. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2025, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6131 "2025-04-22T13:37:52Z")
Easter leftovers - non-ham edition. Whenever I’m in trouble, I think, “What would Jesus do?” Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days. Jesus on returning: What do people call this day I was crucified for your sins? People: Good Friday Others: Yeah baby, Goood Friday! TGIF! Crowd: TGIF TGIF TGIF Party! Partee! Parteee! Jesus (stares aloft) murmurs: Beam me up dad. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=305) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=307)