# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 318
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6352 "2025-06-27T19:12:40Z")
Don’t know if this is original, but I saw it for the first time in a column in the Wichita Eagle this morning: Republican Senator and Representatives are refusing to meet with their constituents in Town Halls; instead, they are hiding out in the Witless Protection program. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6353 "2025-06-27T19:23:39Z")
This keeps niggling at me. I bought a copy of _Jest In Pun_, by Bill Keane. I bought one from Scholastic Press in elementary school. I’m _still_ telling those puns! Anyway, there’s one that I don’t quite get. There is a picture of a doormat that has WIPE YOUR FEET written on it. The pun is, ‘A foot rule.’ Obviously, there is a rule that feet must be wiped; hence, ‘a foot rule’. But I don’t get the pun? What’s a ‘foot rule’? Is that an old name for a ruler? Is ‘a foot rule’ supposed to sound like a different phrase? ---
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6354 "2025-06-27T19:32:01Z")
I presume it’s a ruler 12 inches long. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6355 "2025-06-27T19:48:58Z")
That’s all I could think of; but for my entire life, a ruler has been 12 inches long (occasionally 15 or 18, but 12 is the default) and a ‘ruler’ that is 36 inches long is called a yardstick. So calling a ruler a ‘foot rule’ seems redundant. Bil Keane was born in 1922, so maybe a ‘foot rule’ was what people called rulers last Century? ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6356 "2025-06-27T19:49:23Z")
Alternatively you can say “No binarie”, since there is a trend of using “e” to avoid gendering words. But you’ll raise the ire of bigots and/or prescriptivists so use it at your own peril… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6357 "2025-06-27T19:59:26Z")
Not me. 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6358 "2025-06-27T21:23:27Z")
Ida Know ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6359 "2025-06-27T21:24:00Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > _Jest In Pun_, by Bill Keane Is it not Bi **l** Keane? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6360 "2025-06-27T21:39:46Z")
See my last post. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6361 "2025-06-27T23:50:44Z")
“foot rule” might be a Britishism? Kinda sounds like one to me. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6362 "2025-06-28T15:23:38Z")
**How can you dismiss homeopathy, when you know next to nothing about it?** I think you’ll find that actually makes me an expert. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6363 "2025-06-28T19:13:07Z")
**Installing Washington Summer** [stalled progress bar] [Triangular yellow sign with exclamation point] Installation failed. Error 404: Summer not found. Summer is not available in your state. Please try California. [![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tYaVKJGjPEE/T-27e11S5WI/AAAAAAAAAxw/1u3aom8fP24/s1600/548017_4207833236103_182175445_n.jpg) ](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tYaVKJGjPEE/T-27e11S5WI/AAAAAAAAAxw/1u3aom8fP24/s1600/548017_4207833236103_182175445_n.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6364 "2025-06-28T19:34:36Z")
Depends on what version of California you have installed, too. San Francisco is notorious for its cold summers. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6365 "2025-06-28T19:51:09Z")
San Francisco? That’s that place on the central coast that people in L.A. are sort of aware of, right? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6366 "2025-06-29T02:06:28Z")
### What’s the hottest letter of the alphabet? B. It makes oil boil. * * * ### During this heatwave, it’s a good idea to wear two different deodorants – one under each armpit. But that’s just my two scents. * * * ### It’s so hot in the shade… …I decided to stay in the sun. * * * ### What do you call a pile of dead cats by the side of the road? Litter. * * * ### Is radio addictive? Depends on the frequency. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6367 "2025-06-29T15:11:03Z")
### Just a friendly 4th of July reminder - That absolutely no one is going to watch the videos of the fireworks you recorded on your phone. * * * ### If you apply enough heat and pressure to Kid Rock… he turns into Neil Diamond. * * * ### Why can’t Superman beat Dracula? Because he’s afraid to go into the krypt tonite! * * * ### What does Superman use to dry himself? A Tow-El. * * * ### I picked up a hitchhiker… you’ve got to when you hit them. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6368 "2025-06-30T00:53:45Z")
**How to cook crack and clean a crab.** Step one: Use commas. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6369 "2025-06-30T13:12:19Z")
### What happens when a question mark and an exclamation mark love each other very much? They interrobang. * * * ### Why did the emu lose all his friends when he grew a few feet taller? Because he was ostrich sized. * * * ### COVID brought everyone a little closer to being Batman. Either you wore a mask or your parents were dead. * * * ### The U.S. Senate walks into a bar… …and lowers it. * * * ### I say, I say, did you hear about the globe that was pressed flat into a vinyl album? It’s a world record. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6370 "2025-06-30T20:49:54Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > They interrobang. There is a mathematical symbol consisting of a question mark superimposed on an exclamation point. Guess what it is called. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6371 "2025-06-30T21:02:30Z")
Well… that’s the joke . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=317) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=319)