# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 319
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6372 "2025-06-30T21:10:38Z")
Huh, I have something of a history with the interrobang, but I’ve never encountered it used as a mathematical symbol. Multiply this number by some of the numbers below it, maybe, if you feel like it? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2025, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6373 "2025-07-01T13:17:49Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### What happens when a question mark and an exclamation mark love each other very much? > > They interrobang. Unless one of them is on their period. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2025, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6374 "2025-07-01T23:33:22Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Unless one of them is on their period. Or in a comma. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2025, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6375 "2025-07-01T23:49:19Z")
What are you? Some kind of comma comedian? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2025, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6376 "2025-07-02T14:18:46Z")
### Did you hear about the woman who expired while writing her midterm exam? Well, she passed… * * * ### I accidentally dropped a few ice cubes so I kicked them under the refrigerator… Soon it’ll all be water under the fridge… * * * ### What do you get when 5 fish are divided by 2? Tuna half. * * * ### I used to be addicted to soap… …but then I got clean. * * * ### What do you call a duck that bursts into flames? A fire-quacker. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2025, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6377 "2025-07-02T15:47:03Z")
[![Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/pYcn3Tc.jpeg "imgur.com") ](https://imgur.com/pYcn3Tc) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2025, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6378 "2025-07-02T17:53:39Z")
Upvoted because I’m goofball little boy at heart. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2025, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6379 "2025-07-04T14:50:02Z")
### You can take my fireworks from my cold dead fingers. One is over there, another is there. * * * ### What’s the difference between a yogurt and The USA ? If you leave the yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture. * * * ### What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your computer and accesses all your data. The other is an industry standard. * * * ### The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, You’d almost think the whole country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. * * * ### What do you call a Patriotic Hulk? Dr. Star Spangled Banner. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2025, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6380 "2025-07-04T18:23:20Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, > > You’d almost think the whole country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2025, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6381 "2025-07-05T04:42:56Z")
I am Leonidas, king of Sparta! I vow to bring you a life of eternal pain, like my father before me … Arthur Idas. In general, I hate puns, but this is the best one I’ve ever come up with on my own, so I’m hypocritically fond of it. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2025, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6382 "2025-07-05T05:02:26Z")
I tried to nip it in the Bud, but I discovered that whiskey just makes a bad beer worse. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2025, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6383 "2025-07-05T13:46:02Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > I am Leonidas, king of Sparta! I vow to bring you a life of eternal pain, like my father before me … Arthur Idas. I just woke up. You’ll have to explain it to me. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2025, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6384 "2025-07-05T14:52:45Z")
Arthur Idas = Arthritis ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2025, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6385 "2025-07-05T22:00:26Z")
'Tis a beaut, **Greg\_Charles** , and you should feel justly proud. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2025, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6386 "2025-07-05T22:03:54Z")
### Growing up, Smokey the Bear told me “Only YOU can prevent forest fires!” Where do I go to apologize? * * * ### If there was a bipartisan push in Congress to legalize medical marijuana for arthritis treatment… there would be joint support for joint support for joint support. * * * ### I’ll Never Buy Colgate Toothpaste Ever Again… It says “guaranteed whiteness” after 2 weeks… It has been 4 weeks and I am still Asian. * * * ### If there is watermelon… why isn’t there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon. You know…the four elemelons? * * * ### Have you ever seen a man who was murdered by a jigsaw? They always look puzzled. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2025, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6387 "2025-07-06T01:05:31Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > there would be joint support for joint support for joint support. Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2025, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6388 "2025-07-06T12:46:12Z")
[post removed] ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2025, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6389 "2025-07-06T13:33:30Z")
[comment removed] ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2025, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6390 "2025-07-06T14:40:50Z")
[comment removed] ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2025, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6391 "2025-07-06T14:47:15Z")
### When I was asked to describe myself in three words, I wrote… Lazy. * * * ### A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!” “Well you’ve come to the right place.” says the bartender, “What’ll it be?” The man replies “One water please” “Just a water??” “Yeah, I have kidney stones.” * * * ### If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, ‘Two seconds till.’ After you ask, ‘Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you in the face. * * * ### So little Johnny is in Sunday school for weeks and every time the answer to all the questions is Jesus! So the teacher asks little Johnny, “What is black and has white spots and makes a moo sound?” Little Johnny says well it sounds awfully like a cow, but I’m gonna say it’s Jesus! * * * ### What would you call Hulk if he didn’t shave for quite some time? Mark Scruffalo. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=318) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=320)