# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 337
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6732 "2025-09-26T10:38:19Z")
No, it’s a deliberate play on the format of the joke. Normally the man misspeaks/the genie misunderstands and that causes the weird thing. In this case it’s disrupted, the man asks for and gets exactly what he wanted. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6733 "2025-09-26T11:35:17Z")
Right, rather like my favorite anti-joke even I was about 13. You tell a couple of standard knock-knock jokes, and then you ask the listener to say “knock-knock.” You reply “who’s there?,” and typically the listener is left speechless. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6734 "2025-09-26T13:44:17Z")
### This Tuesday, Pres. Donald Trump addressed the United Nations. This Wednesday, the United Nations stated they were looking into causes and cures for Dementia. * * * ### What happens if you hand Elsa a balloon? She’ll let it go. * * * ### Queue is spelled just with Q and four silent letters. No, it’s not. They’re just waiting their turn. * * * ### First Law of Thermodynamics: “You can’t win.” Second Law of Thermodynamics: “You can’t break even.” Third Law of Thermodynamics: “You can’t stop playing.” * * * ### What is the distance from Betelgeuse to Procyon using a standard chart? About an inch and a half. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6735 "2025-09-26T13:57:14Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### What happens if you hand Elsa a balloon? > > She’ll let it go. I googled ‘elsa’ and ‘balloon’, and all I saw were balloons with the _Frozen_ character on them. Is there another character named Elsa who is involved with a balloon? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6736 "2025-09-26T14:02:49Z")
No, but Elsa in Frozen sings “Let It Go”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6737 "2025-09-26T14:07:29Z")
Ah. I don’t have kids. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6738 "2025-09-26T15:03:44Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### This Tuesday, Pres. Donald Trump addressed the United Nations. > > This Wednesday, the United Nations stated they were looking into causes and cures for Dementia. Not to get political…but if only it _were_ dementia. The joke works better if its “causes and cures of hypernationalist, sociopathic stupidity and hatred". Sorry. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6739 "2025-09-26T15:25:02Z")
> [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](#): > > No, but Elsa in Frozen sings “Let It Go”. **What did Screamin’ Jay Hawkins do at the general hospital?** Let it go! Let it go! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6740 "2025-09-26T15:36:15Z")
That’s a deeper cut, but a funny one. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6741 "2025-09-26T17:08:09Z")
I heard that if you take Tylenol PM you get autism, but only at night. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6742 "2025-09-27T02:51:54Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Queue is spelled just with Q and four silent letters. > > No, it’s not. They’re just waiting their turn. The ‘b’ is there in ‘subtle’ as an example. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6743 "2025-09-27T03:07:25Z")
What sick bastard put the ‘s’ in ‘lisp’? ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6744 "2025-09-27T06:17:55Z")
Who are you calling thick? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6745 "2025-09-27T14:52:44Z")
### An OB/GYN student is late for his final exam. He races out of bed, gets dressed, and is out the door in 5 minutes. He quickly gets to the lecture hall, and sits down just in time to receive a test. Unbeknownst to him however, he had run to the wrong room: the Law lecture hall. The student reads over the first question, assured in his ability, but is shocked when he doesn’t understand the first question: “Advice offered to the court by a third party.” _Why is this on my medical test?_ He thinks. The man glances over to his right in askance, but sees the other students diligently writing. Determined to not make a fool of himself, he writes “prescription”. He reads the next question: “An admission of guilt on the principle of not contesting the charges.” He glances around again, confused, and ends up writing “c-section”. He reaches the third question, and is well and truly lost. ”The principle that recognizes legal practices, regardless of whether they are codified.” He writes down “delivery”, but then leans over to ask another student for help. The other student glances at his paper, and says: “It’s not delivery! It’s de jure, no?” * * * ### What did the Python say when he came out of his shell? Print(“Hello World!”) * * * ### I had to visit the trauma unit last weekend. He prefers to be called “Dad”. * * * ### I keep randomly shouting out “Broccoli” and “Cauliflower” – I think I might have Florets. * * * ### I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6746 "2025-09-27T19:40:45Z")
**What’s the difference between Black-Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?** Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song. Chick Peas can only hummus one. > **Doctor: My name is Juan. I’ll be delivering your baby.** **Father:** OB Juan, you’re our only hope. **Mother:** Leave his name off of the birth certificate. > **I went shopping for cherries, and microphone stands.** Bought a Bing and a boom. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6747 "2025-09-27T22:37:14Z")
**Adam: McRib is back!** **Eve:** Stop calling me that! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2025, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6748 "2025-09-28T21:28:09Z")
**Did you know… ?** There’s a type of cheese that’s made backwards. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2025, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6749 "2025-09-29T00:00:44Z")
Is it Dutch by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2025, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6750 "2025-09-29T00:12:46Z")
It is. Gouda you to ask. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2025, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6751 "2025-09-29T07:14:29Z")
Stop blaming yourself and others. Learn Feng Shui and blame the furniture. Speaking of furniture, Life Hack: Turn any sofa into a sofa bed by telling your wife to calm down. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=336) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=338)