# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 349
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6972 "2025-12-05T15:35:11Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Did you think you had typed ‘Spiderman’ in the first line of your original joke? I believe this is what’s happening here. mmm ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2025, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6973 "2025-12-05T21:31:29Z")
Third base! ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2025, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6974 "2025-12-06T16:04:54Z")
**How does King Wenceslas like his pizza?** Deep dish, crisp and even. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2025, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6975 "2025-12-06T16:42:40Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas song? > > _Soy to the World_. Seen on a Spanish classroom door: “What if soy milk is just regular milk, introducing itself in Spanish?” > [@solost](#): > > Pro tip: use Old Bay or Cajun seasoning in place of paprika to really devil up them eggs. Old Bay is mostly just a mixture of paprika and celery seed. Though admittedly, celery seed would improve deviled eggs, too. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2025, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6976 "2025-12-06T16:43:30Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/e35f522b-47c3-42ff-a167-c484d7820e0c) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/e35f522b-47c3-42ff-a167-c484d7820e0c) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2025, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6977 "2025-12-06T17:12:43Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > “What if soy milk is just regular milk, introducing itself in Spanish?” ¡Hola, Milk! ¡Soy Chorizo! ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2025, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6978 "2025-12-06T17:54:27Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > > [@solost](#): > > > > Pro tip: use Old Bay or Cajun seasoning in place of paprika to really devil up them eggs. > > Old Bay is mostly just a mixture of paprika and celery seed. Though admittedly, celery seed would improve deviled eggs, too. Old Bay May have a lot of paprika in it, as does Cajun seasoning, but it’s a more complex blend of spices than just paprika and celery seed. Take it from a seasoned cook 😉 ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2025, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6979 "2025-12-06T18:57:15Z")
A thoughtful husband assembles his wife’s gift before wrapping. [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_97,w_100,c_scale,f_avif/v200/75386520-858e-4c60-bd52-b00f0a6af805) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_97,w_100,c_scale,f_avif/v200/75386520-858e-4c60-bd52-b00f0a6af805) ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2025, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6980 "2025-12-07T14:00:02Z")
A Mexican pop-rock singer released an album (circa 2000) called “Soy Sauce,” which means “I am a willow tree” in Spanish (yes, it was deliberate). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2025, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6981 "2025-12-07T16:15:19Z")
**I was arrested for holding a man’s hand.** Now the cops want to know where the rest of the body is. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2025, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6982 "2025-12-07T18:51:47Z")
George R. R. Martin once said > [@](#): > > I have the heart of a little boy. It’s in a jar of formaldehyde on my desk. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2025, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6983 "2025-12-07T19:41:17Z")
‘I have the heart of a little boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk’ is usually attributed to Stephen King. It has also been attributed to Harlan Ellison. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2025, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6984 "2025-12-07T21:49:26Z")
The “heart of a little boy” quote originated with [Robert Bloch](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2021/09/26/heart/) (author of “Psycho”). It appeared in “Weird Tales” magazine in 1942, six years before Martin was born and five years before King was born (and Ellison was, himself, a little boy). King has said it, but he attributes it to Bloch. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2025, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6985 "2025-12-07T22:32:06Z")
I’m pretty sure that Asimov said it of Martin, in one of the compilations of Hugo winners, but those books are less-accessible right now. I suppose even Asimov flubbed a quote now and then. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2025, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6986 "2025-12-07T22:50:37Z")
I have a comic strip of Alfred Hitchcock saying it to Joan Fontaine. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2025, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6987 "2025-12-08T12:09:32Z")
Come to that, my dentist told me I had a young man’s gums I said I hoped he didn’t want them back [_Tumbleweed_] ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2025, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6988 "2025-12-08T12:20:17Z")
My dentist mentioned my wife’s sensitive gag reflex. I laughed and said “yeah, you’re right!” On the way home I remembered that my wife and I have different dentists. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2025, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6989 "2025-12-08T14:58:27Z")
**‘I have the skin of a 20-year-old girl!’** ‘Well, give it back. You’re getting it all wrinkled!’ ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2025, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6990 "2025-12-08T21:22:57Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/2975a09f-4fdc-48cc-8516-2a883c835e23) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/2975a09f-4fdc-48cc-8516-2a883c835e23) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2025, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/6991 "2025-12-08T23:02:31Z")
**BREAKING NEWS: Teenager spotted downtown without phone.** Witnesses were baffled: ‘He was just looking around with his eyes.’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=348) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=350)