# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 353
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2025, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7052 "2025-12-17T22:29:16Z")
> [@Author\_Balk](#): > > When I was about 8 years old I was in some sort of show, maybe a cub scout thing. I did the “you don’t say” bit. It’s one of my childhood memories. Huh. I was also in a skit when I was about that age. I was _sure_ someone must have posted the [Three Rivers skit](https://wackyscouter.org/resources/activities_skits/three-rivers_2595), but I didn’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2025, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7053 "2025-12-17T22:41:06Z")
My favorite is still the Lawnmower Skit. One scout is hunched down on the ground playing the part of the lawnmower, while another scout tries to start it by miming pulling a cord, at which the lawnmower goes “WHIRRR PUT Put put…” and stops. Another scout tries, to the same result, until eventually you get the mark (usually an adult leader) to try it, whereupon the lawnmower goes “WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” and keeps on going. At this, the first scout says “Thanks, I guess all it needed was just a big jerk!”. ---
**Author:** ![FMera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fmera/32/9857_2.png) [@FMera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FMera)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2025, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7054 "2025-12-18T01:00:18Z")
Usually i just lurk and read these and giggle but i loved this + L’ed OL and just sent to about 10 friends. 👍 ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2025, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7055 "2025-12-18T18:21:53Z")
Intellectual knock knock joke: Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Who’s there? [_Repeat until exhaustion_] Knock knock Who’s there? Philip Glass ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2025, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7056 "2025-12-18T19:35:05Z")
Prof Pepperwinkle obviously needs to work on his delivery !! > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### For Halloween I’ve got a job making plastic Draculas. > > There’s only two of us working here so I have to make every second count. > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### For Halloween I’ve got a job making plastic Draculas > > There’s only two of us working here so I have to make every second count. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2025, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7057 "2025-12-18T19:48:59Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > Prof Pepperwinkle obviously needs to work on his delivery !! Prof messed up his delivery on the first one, so he had to make the second count. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2025, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7058 "2025-12-18T21:18:14Z")
I didn’t realize that I was taking the Prof’s joke. I did find out that I wasn’t making Draculas though, it’s only Dracula if it’s from the Transylvanian region of Romania, otherwise it’s just sparkling vampire. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7059 "2025-12-19T15:33:15Z")
> ### For Halloween I’ve got a job making plastic Draculas > > There’s only two of us working here so I have to make every second count. #3 in a series. Collect 'em all! * * * ### What does Santa use to clean his suit for Christmas? YuleTide. * * * ### If there was a reindeer racing league, what would it be named? NASCARibou. * * * ### How many reindeer were left after Santa got stranded in the mountains? Only one. Donner ate the rest. * * * ### Did you know there is a 10th reindeer? It’s true. His name is Jerry and he is in charge of managing deliveries that the elves had, which includes food orders. He started his own business. Its called “Deer Dash”! ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7060 "2025-12-19T15:55:28Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### How many reindeer were left after Santa got stranded in the mountains? > > Only one. Donner ate the rest. He even made a party out of it, that sick bastard. > [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I did find out that I wasn’t making Draculas though, it’s only Dracula if it’s from the Transylvanian region of Romania, otherwise it’s just sparkling vampire. Heh, solid joke. [![](https://c.tenor.com/38LgQwcrldMAAAAd/tenor.gif) ](https://c.tenor.com/38LgQwcrldMAAAAd/tenor.gif) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7061 "2025-12-19T23:56:44Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/977812c2-ecbf-439a-920c-d3bde987deea) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/977812c2-ecbf-439a-920c-d3bde987deea) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7062 "2025-12-19T23:58:19Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/858df907-8116-4bab-8231-2bfbc59508e5) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/858df907-8116-4bab-8231-2bfbc59508e5) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2025, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7063 "2025-12-20T00:12:58Z")
Polar bear news: Manitoba [https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/polar-bear-cub-adopted-churchill-9.7019054](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/polar-bear-cub-adopted-churchill-9.7019054) Rare instance of polar bear cub being adopted near Churchill verified by scientists. Only the 13th case of cub adoption in the western Hudson Bay area, say researchers. [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_67,w_100,c_scale,f_avif/v200/dbf1911e-96e1-4e3c-bc06-63e85b29d4d0) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_67,w_100,c_scale,f_avif/v200/dbf1911e-96e1-4e3c-bc06-63e85b29d4d0) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2025, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7064 "2025-12-20T13:54:41Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/3789d83a-2d33-4a1f-b7d9-f41350df5922) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/3789d83a-2d33-4a1f-b7d9-f41350df5922) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2025, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7065 "2025-12-20T17:19:49Z")
### I thought the waiter who brought the cheese stank… …but the wine waiter was sommelier. * * * ### What is the highest rank in the popcorn army? Colonel. * * * ### We all know why 6 was afraid of 7, but why was it that 7 8 9? 7 needed 3 square meals a day. * * * ### When a mosquito lands on your testicles… You learn that violence isn’t always the answer. * * * ### Why did Santa quit shaving and grow out his now long white beard? Same reason why he’s called “Saint Nick”. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2025, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7066 "2025-12-20T17:26:01Z")
> [@Norse](#): > > As do the Scandinavian languages. > > Ape: Menneskeabe (DK), Menneskeape (NO), Människoartade apor (SE). Literal translation to English: “Human-monkey” (DK, NO), “Human-like monkey” (SE) > Monkey: Abe (DK), Apekatt/Ape (NO), Apa (SE) I realize I am extremely late here (actually did a search on something else). But, FWIW, American Sign Language has separate lexical items for “ape” and “monkey.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2025, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7067 "2025-12-20T20:10:53Z")
A police officer called his supervisor while on site of a murder scene. “Yeah, the wife knocked her husband over the head with a cast iron skillet after he walked on her freshly mopped kitchen floor.” “So, did you arrest her?” “Not yet, the floor’s still wet.” ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2025, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7068 "2025-12-20T21:24:22Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_67,w_100,c_scale,f_avif/v200/dd24b0b9-e4a7-431b-96d1-e11ae7e0390f) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_67,w_100,c_scale,f_avif/v200/dd24b0b9-e4a7-431b-96d1-e11ae7e0390f) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2025, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7069 "2025-12-21T00:18:54Z")
I heard an Irish joke eons ago, involving sex. I think there was some misunderstanding, and the wife was expecting it – again. The punchline was, ‘Ah, startin’ in again, are ye?’ Does anyone know the joke? ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2025, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7070 "2025-12-21T02:48:12Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > If there was a reindeer racing league, what would it be named? If there was a salmon racing course, what would it be called? A loxodrome. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2025, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7071 "2025-12-21T03:24:38Z")
A slalmon course? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=352) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=354)