# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 389
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2026, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7772 "2026-05-31T07:33:53Z")
Do you ever look at someone and think, “Your mom’s eggs must’ve been expired, and your dad’s swimmers were running Windows 95, because there’s no other explanation for you.” ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2026, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7773 "2026-05-31T15:25:39Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > > [@Chronos](#): > > > > Our motorways are called interstates. > > And none of them lead to either Wales or whale I-95 leads to Wells (Maine). ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2026, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7774 "2026-05-31T20:39:13Z")
They are stormtroopers after all. [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/vhol1ncpixjqhaychjsu) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/vhol1ncpixjqhaychjsu) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2026, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7775 "2026-05-31T20:49:07Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Yes, I know. It took me a minute to get it, because I was sounding out ‘Take M-4’ as if it were a pun. Then I made the Wales connection. > [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Except in SoCal, where they’re ‘The’. I missed the joke at first too, because Brits would normally say “Take the M4”, not “Take M4”. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7776 "2026-06-01T02:46:15Z")
If we’re ever in a situation where we’re both doing math in our heads; I’m just pretending, **it’s all on you** ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7777 "2026-06-01T03:00:31Z")
Teenage daughter," Mom, I’ve been dating our neighbor." Mom, " What? He could be your father." Teen," Age isn’t an issue, mom." Mom, “No… I don’t think you understand me.” ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7778 "2026-06-01T03:02:41Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_79,w_100,c_scale,f_avif/v200/ll67zp9ue4ijqbm4falp) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_79,w_100,c_scale,f_avif/v200/ll67zp9ue4ijqbm4falp) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7779 "2026-06-01T04:12:52Z")
I need this knife block​😁 [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/o1dvt8liucjoxhsyo6pp) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/o1dvt8liucjoxhsyo6pp) ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7780 "2026-06-01T05:23:39Z")
“1812 or 1964” surely? They didn’t invade in 1776, they’d been there for 170 years by then! ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7781 "2026-06-01T05:27:43Z")
These are not genius level jokes. I just go with the flow. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7782 "2026-06-01T07:55:22Z")
How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You Pokemon. * * * Got a horse. Named it “Mayo.” Sometimes, Mayo neighs. (Both work much better spoken out loud.) ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7783 "2026-06-01T10:18:47Z")
Nice ! Can you get a trump version ? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7784 "2026-06-01T13:21:29Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? > > You Pokemon. ‘Come on, baby! I’ll show you my Pokemon! But first you have to let me have a Pikachu.’ (I don’t remember the stand-up comedian who told that one.) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7785 "2026-06-01T15:31:30Z")
“And another thing. Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?” “Do we now?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2026, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7786 "2026-06-01T16:42:20Z")
### How’s y’all’s summer bods looking? Mine is looking like I have a great personality. * * * ### Olaf the Viking is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears. “What’s the matter?” asks Olaf. “Oh,” sobs the old lady. “I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets.” “No problem,” says Olaf, lifting her onto his back. “I’ll take you.” Olaf strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her. At the other end the old lady’s husband is waiting with her wheelchair. “I’d really like to thank you,” says the old lady as Olaf sets her back down in the chair, “but I don’t even know who you are!” Olaf just waves and walks off. “I was really worried about you,” comments the old lady’s husband. “What have you been doing?” " I’ve been through the desserts on a Norse with no name." ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2026, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7787 "2026-06-03T17:37:32Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### My friend lost an arm and a leg in a car crash. > > No idea who was more pissed: the funeral home he worked for, or the family of the deceased. Reminds me of this one… We are going to Boston in a week for a short vacation. I asked my wife for suggestions as to what to do while we are there. She said, how about the marathon? Now, I’m no expert but a week seems like a short amount of time to learn how to … … make a pressure cooker bomb. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2026, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7788 "2026-06-03T18:17:05Z")
### Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles? — So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard. * * * ### How can you tell if an elephant is colorblind? — You can see its feet sticking out of the custard. * * * ### A five dollar bill walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey! This is a singles bar!” * * * ### Mickey Mouse hanged himself. He didn’t die though. It was just a case of suspended animation. * * * ### I typed “ninjas” into thesaurus .com. It said “ninjas cannot be found.” Well played ninjas, well played. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2026, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7789 "2026-06-03T19:55:57Z")
[“The fourth little pig’s house was made of wolf skulls. They aren’t very sturdy, but they send a message.”](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/wolf) ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2026, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7790 "2026-06-03T20:24:04Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles? > > — So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard. > > * * * > > ### How can you tell if an elephant is colorblind? > > — You can see its feet sticking out of the custard. I really loved those old elephant jokes. It’s too bad that I don’t remember most of them. One I do remember: How do you know if an elephant is hiding in the refrigerator? From the footprints in the butter. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2026, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7791 "2026-06-03T22:41:40Z")
**Heckler** : Why are you such a c\*nt? Jimmy Carr: I think it’s because I have depth and the ability to give pleasure. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=388) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=390)