# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 39
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/771 "2021-09-28T13:42:41Z")
What’s the difference between an airplane and the United States? The airplane’s right wing isn’t trying to crash it out of spite. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/772 "2021-09-28T13:53:32Z")
I just edited it. With hindsight, I should have just reposted it - maybe as a reply to acknowledge the original post. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/773 "2021-09-28T14:10:51Z")
True. Rules are rules, for good reason, IMHO. Next time we’ll be sure to acknowledge such edits up front. It’s all good. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/774 "2021-09-28T14:13:26Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because\*\* **Oct 31 = Dec 25.** Why did the programmer get stuck in the shower for 3 days? He read the instructions on the shampoo label: “lather, rinse, repeat”. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/775 "2021-09-28T14:23:22Z")
### The kid that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches. * * * ### Give a man a duck, and he’ll eat for a night. Teach a man to duck, and he’ll avoid low-flying objects. * * * ### Can older adults be circumcised? Or is there a cut off date ? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/776 "2021-09-28T15:55:22Z")
I once dated a woman who was with the Sandinistas. She was the guerilla my dreams. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/777 "2021-09-28T16:14:47Z")
Huh, what a coinkydink… I was set up on a blind date (by Jane Goodall), and she ended up being the gorilla my dreams. In my defense, I just made that up, and all my jokes are now dad jokes. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/778 "2021-09-28T16:17:33Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Give a man a duck, and he’ll eat for a night. > > Teach a man to duck, and he’ll avoid low-flying objects. Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm all night. Light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/779 "2021-09-28T16:18:34Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Where is the malicious intent? There wasn’t any. That’s why it was a mod note and not a warning. This is exactly how we have always moderated this rule. > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > If he hadn’t used the quote feature, it would have been kosher, correct? Correct. You have also already been told to take any further comments to ATMB. Intentionally ignoring moderator instructions is also a warnable offense. Take any further discussion of this to ATMB or you will receive a warning here. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/780 "2021-09-28T16:53:04Z")
Mod note to all of you. The next one to argue moderation in this thread **will** get an official warning. Now keep the jokes coming. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/781 "2021-09-28T17:26:13Z")
But what if I made a joke about it??? ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/782 "2021-09-28T17:32:24Z")
What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler. How did Jesus stay in shape? Crossfit. ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/783 "2021-09-28T18:00:41Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler. I thought he came of his father’s Accord ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/784 "2021-09-28T19:54:27Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > But what if I made a joke about it??? It’d better make me laugh–or at least smile. Seriously, I am enjoying this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/785 "2021-09-28T20:01:07Z")
> [@nightshadea](#): > > morris owned a department store and was doing pretty good business and all of a sudden business slumped off cause a dollar store opened and being worried he went to his temple kneeled at the altar hey god its me max I need to win the lottery cause that store is starting to kill me thanks … he stood up and went home > > [snip] > > A voice from the heavens says "morris you honor me too much … but you gotta go buy a ticket first This did not happen. How dare you. 😠 ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/786 "2021-09-28T20:39:34Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > It’d better make me laugh–or at least smile. Seriously, I am enjoying this thread. Better go with the smile: Hari Seldom laughs. ---
**Author:** ![DeadTreasSecretaries](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deadtreassecretaries/32/4817_2.png) [@DeadTreasSecretaries](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadTreasSecretaries)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2021, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/787 "2021-09-28T23:49:34Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > It’d better make me laugh–or at least smile. Seriously, I am enjoying this thread. How many moderators does it take to change a lightbulb? [This post violates our community standards and has been removed] ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2021, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/788 "2021-09-29T00:00:55Z")
[I’d have thought Him a Buick man](https://www.macsmotorcitygarage.com/buick-portholes-a-10-minute-history/) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2021, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/789 "2021-09-29T01:18:10Z")
> [@DeadTreasSecretaries](#): > > How many moderators does it take to change a lightbulb? > [This post violates our community standards and has been removed] No need to worry about the lightbulb… the darkness has been cornfielded. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2021, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/790 "2021-09-29T01:33:49Z")
Q: How did a Slovenian college dropout, nude model, and gold digger-at-large become an organized crime boss’ moll, living in the White House? A: Blow by blow, baby! (stolen from a comment today in the Washington Post) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=38) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=40)