# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 390
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7792 "2026-06-04T12:43:10Z")
The one from my childhood was: Why do elephants wear red toenail polish? So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever see an elephant in a cherry tree? See, it works! ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7793 "2026-06-04T14:35:28Z")
In a ~~similar~~ almost identical vein, “Why do you go around snapping your fingers all of the time?” “Keeps the elephants away.” “Elephants? What elephants? There isn’t an elephant with five hundred miles of here.” “See? It works!” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7794 "2026-06-04T14:43:05Z")
That one, I’ve usually heard as “tiger-repelling rock”. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7795 "2026-06-04T14:52:04Z")
> [@billy-jack](#): > > How do you know if an elephant is hiding in the refrigerator? > > From the footprints in the butter. Reminds me of this one- good grownup to little kid joke: **Person 1:** How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Easy-- you open the refrigerator door, put the elephant inside, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? **Person 2:** Uh, open the refrigerator door, put the giraffe inside, and close the door? **Person 1:** Wrong! You forgot to remove the elephant first! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7796 "2026-06-04T14:57:20Z")
I’ve never liked that one, because step 2 is the same as the whole task. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7797 "2026-06-04T16:37:27Z")
A Möbius strip walks into a bar, sobbing. The bartender asks, “What’s wrong, buddy?” The Möbius strip replies, “Where do I even begin?” ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7798 "2026-06-04T17:07:19Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Reminds me of this one- good grownup to little kid joke: The best kid joke I’ve ever found is: What do cats eat for desert? Mice cream I never met a kid over about the age of 2 or 3 who didn’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7799 "2026-06-04T17:59:22Z")
> [@billy-jack](#): > > What do cats eat for desert? > Mice cream > I never met a kid over about the age of 2 or 3 who didn’t get it. None of them question what a cat is doing in the desert? (sorry, couldn’t resist) 🙂 mm ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7800 "2026-06-04T18:30:53Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > None of them question what a cat is doing in the desert? Maybe I should start using a voice app to respond and let the autoincorrect feature fix my errors. ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7801 "2026-06-04T19:08:02Z")
> [@solost](#): > > **Person 1:** How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Easy-- you open the refrigerator door, put the elephant inside, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? > > **Person 2:** Uh, open the refrigerator door, put the giraffe inside, and close the door? > > **Person 1:** Wrong! You forgot to remove the elephant first! The version I heard was… **Person 1:** How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Easy-- you open the refrigerator door, put the elephant inside, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? **Person 2:** Uh, open the refrigerator door, put the giraffe inside, and close the door? **Person 1:** Wrong! You forgot to remove the elephant first! then… Person 1. The lion king invited the whole jungle to a party. Who didn’t show up? Person 2. I don’t know. Person 1. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator. Person 1. A man crossed a crocodile infested river and survived. How did he do it? Person 2. I don’t know. Person 1. He just swam across. The crocodiles were at the party. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7802 "2026-06-04T22:25:14Z")
**What do you do with a gorilla with three balls?** Walk him, and pitch to the giraffe. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7803 "2026-06-04T22:48:06Z")
The Onion headline: Tiger Woods completes 12-step AA program in 9 ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7804 "2026-06-04T23:01:09Z")
What do you have if you have a green ball in one hand and a green ball in the other? Complete control of the Jolly Green Giant. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2026, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7805 "2026-06-05T04:31:35Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Copy & paste was invented in 1974, I don’t think we’re **that** old. Well, I couldn’t _vote_ then. Q - Why do ducks have flat feet? A - To stamp our forest fires. Q - Why do elephants have flat feet? A - To stamp out burning ducks. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2026, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7806 "2026-06-05T06:00:19Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Tiger Woods completes 12-step AA program in 9 This one’s a bit stale now. What’s the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2026, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7807 "2026-06-05T06:01:03Z")
I once confused Yakuza and Jacuzzi, now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2026, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7808 "2026-06-05T08:04:33Z")
What’s the stupidest animal in the desert? The penguin. What’s the unluckiest animal in the desert? The blue whale ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2026, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7809 "2026-06-05T13:03:56Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Q - Why do ducks have flat feet? > A - To stamp our forest fires. > > Q - Why do elephants have flat feet? > A - To stamp out burning ducks. [The rhino is the self appointed fire prevention officer.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_dXBZjDhQ8) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2026, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7810 "2026-06-05T15:40:59Z")
### When I was 5 years old a bear told me only I could prevent forest fires. To this day, I do not know why I was chosen. ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2026, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7811 "2026-06-05T16:42:37Z")
My area is so dry that during the 40 days and 40 nights of rain of Noah’s Flood, we only got a quarter inch of rain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=389) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=391)