# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 395
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7892 "2026-06-27T17:52:25Z")
how can you tell a man is henpecked? when he’s at the altar, he says “I do, don’t I dear?” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7893 "2026-06-27T18:00:23Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### How long does an owl live? > > Six and a half books. I’m not familiar with owl books. Children’s stories? And why a half of a book? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7894 "2026-06-27T18:11:04Z")
> [@fedman1](#): > > how can you tell a man is henpecked? > when he’s at the altar, he says “I do, don’t I dear?” _The preacher asked her, and she said, “I do”_ _The preacher asked me, and she said, “He does too”_ _The preacher said, "I pronounce you 99 to life_ _Son, she’s no lady, she’s your wife_ -“She’s No Lady”, by Lyle Lovett ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7895 "2026-06-27T18:11:45Z")
It’s a reference to a specific series. Harry Potter. Harry has a pet owl named Hedwig, that he gets near the start of the first book. She dies in the seventh book. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7896 "2026-06-27T18:13:23Z")
Thanks. Though I’ve read the books, I didn’t get that the joke was referencing them. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7897 "2026-06-27T18:25:14Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > The joke is the Australian reputation of being populated by animals, insects, fish, … that will kill you in an unguarded instant. While untrue, less than 86% will kill you, the idea persists. As I said: hellbeasts. Even the cute widdle octopuseses. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7898 "2026-06-27T19:34:01Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Even the cute widdle octopuseses. OK, it’s a cuttlefish. But anyway… ![https://preview.redd.it/danger-hugs-are-the-best-hugs-v0-mf17od0q7ru61.jpg?width...](https://preview.redd.it/danger-hugs-are-the-best-hugs-v0-mf17od0q7ru61.jpg?width=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=d73272e117efb9b0774f9df3474ad2811792c27e) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7899 "2026-06-27T19:34:49Z")
[Test link to cartoon.](https://www.reddit.com/media?solution=bb5648b75a8c35fdbb5648b75a8c35fd&js_challenge=1&token=7afd7253fec22262ff1c52b1703fe9ec5fa0266fcd6f08a64795f968ca3ad921&jsc_orig_r=&url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fdanger-hugs-are-the-best-hugs-v0-mf17od0q7ru61.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1080%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dd73272e117efb9b0774f9df3474ad2811792c27e) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7900 "2026-06-28T11:34:48Z")
I asked my buddy if he would pass me a pamphlet. He said “brochure”. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7901 "2026-06-28T14:52:51Z")
**Apologies to Frank Sinatra:** Changes in the night With seven children there’ll be Changes in the night. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7902 "2026-06-28T19:28:18Z")
Alexander Graham Bell, “I have invented the telephone!” His brother, Taco, “I’m working on something big too!” My problem is that I heavily rely on the idea of an apocalypse for my long-term planning. [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/pjtk2ipyzpypnzcroax6) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/pjtk2ipyzpypnzcroax6) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7903 "2026-06-28T19:34:32Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/tbwfifvjcoogqk9ax9se) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/tbwfifvjcoogqk9ax9se) Sounds improbable, but the same thing happened to me. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7904 "2026-06-28T19:49:04Z")
Could the turtle be a trained courier? The mind wonders. “This isn’t my stuff! A friend asked me to shift it.” ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7905 "2026-06-28T21:28:51Z")
> ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7906 "2026-06-28T22:48:32Z")
Ever since I was a young child, I’ve wanted to be indoors on a computer. Best friend, " What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done?" Me, “Awfully cheeky of you to assume I’ve peaked.” [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_100,w_75,c_scale,f_avif/v200/eptpplbjnfrryr2mv1tb) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_3,h_100,w_75,c_scale,f_avif/v200/eptpplbjnfrryr2mv1tb) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2026, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7907 "2026-06-29T03:31:12Z")
Trying to make friends as a adult is difficult. The people I would probably get along with don’t want to leave their house either. I had my appendix removed. Now the other organs know I’m not messing around. Northrop Grumman may overfly the America 250 Parade with the new B-21 stealth bomber. This may finally put the age-old question to bed: _“What if there were a B21 flyover and no one was around to see it?”_ ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2026, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7908 "2026-06-29T13:15:03Z")
two men are camping out when they hear a bear one guy starts putting on his sneakers other guy says “what are you doing, you can’t outrun a bear” “I don’t have to outrun the bear, just you” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2026, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7909 "2026-06-29T13:49:39Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > Northrop Grumman may overfly the America 250 Parade with the new B-21 stealth bomber. > This may finally put the age-old question to bed: _“What if there were a B21 flyover and no one was around to see it?”_ I can just imagine that conversation: Aide to trump: Look up, sir-- here come the B21 stealth bombers. trump: Waitaminute, how come I can see them? We paid a lot of money for those damn things, and they don’t work? Hegseth is so fired! Aide: Uhhh…they turned off the invisibility switch for the parade, sir. trump: Oh, that’s a relief to hear. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2026, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7910 "2026-06-29T14:28:38Z")
Two friends came back from bear hunting. When I asked them “Where’s the bear?” One replied "Well, we saw a sign that read “Bear left”, so we came back. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2026, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7911 "2026-06-29T14:34:58Z")
I don’t get this one … ETA: clicked the link to x. Now I get it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=394) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=396)